We moved to the wrong area, I feel. (Northshore Chicago) (Glenview: moving to, suburb)

[eastsiders]

My spouse and I considered Winnetka while we were considering Barrington. We chose Barrington for its small town life but we worried about snobbery in both cases. However, we found no snobbery in Barrington but we did feel that it helped to throw ourselves into volunteer work at the schools and anywhere else in the community. You will find genuine people everywhere by volunteering.

[Sarah H.]

This is a hard situation. I know Winnetka has this "reputation" but it can be anywhere. Since you're there already and don't want to lose money if you sell your house try and enjoy it.

You said you can't be yourself. Why not? You'll attract those who appreciate "the real you" if you be yourself. Maybe some nice mom thinks you're just like all the other snobs, if you pretend to be one, and doesn't feel comfortable making an effort to meet you?

I know there are a lot more nannies around within the past 2 years. When the market crashed many moms went back to work. Yes, the recession even hit the golden shores of Winnetka. But there's no reason to feel uncomfortable with nannies. Many may assume you won't talk to them so you may have to make the first move and say hello but once you do you'll get to spend an afternoon talking with very nice people. (I think it's safe to assume most nannies are nice- they take care of other people's children!) The language barrier may be an issue but I often find nannies who speak English well and I really enjoy hearing about their home countries, families, etc. And of course we talk about kids. But never their employer.

As for meeting "real" moms try taking classes at the Winnetka Community house and at the Wilmette Park District. (It's not far if you haven't been there already.) You didn't say how old your kids are but I think there are opportunities to meet other moms at kids' classes, school, parks, etc. Just hanging out in your front yard raking leaves can elicit impromptu playtime for both moms and kids.

You said you've met a few moms. Can you cultivate these friendships a little bit? Invite them over?

Good luck. I hope you find a way to feel comfortable. Remember a lot of people feel like this at times.

[US-Traveller]

I think this post is a joke. Winnetka is a welcoming community. Winnetka certainly is politically conservative, but I don't see that getting in the way of meeting anyone in the community. There are plenty of transplant families from the Northeast and California that have moved in over the past several years.

[chet everett]

Originally Posted by US-Traveller

I think this post is a joke. Winnetka is a welcoming community. Winnetka certainly is politically conservative, but I don't see that getting in the way of meeting anyone in the community. There are plenty of transplant families from the Northeast and California that have moved in over the past several years.

I read enough Dan Savage columns to know when someone is pulling my leg. I think the OP is being honest in their feelings; such feelings are normal and part of the broad range of "buyers's remorse" that goes along with having to rule out other possibilities for homes / towns when you lock in on a major financial commitment.

I believe that those on this thread who admit to never spending much time on the NorthShore and then posit certain NorthShore towns are more liberal than Winnetka are falling into a lazy way of of stereotyping. It is comical that some folks misuse slang that real Chicagoans understand for opposite purpose -- a "Lakefront Liberal" was the kind of voter that made it possible for Chicago to have a woman as mayor followed by a racial minority. Such mindless voting rarely happens in affluent well educated area where competence is valued over appearance.

Should the OP not come to her senses and be grateful of the opportunities afforded her by living where she does and instead decides to foolishly sell in current economic conditions having only been in her home for two years she would likely be just economically negligent as she perceives some of her neighbors to be. Is it any better to throw away money on trips or other ways of keeping up with Mrs. Jones than to throw away money keeping up with Ms Birkenstock to be closer to the Evanston Whole Foods?

[Anthera]

Originally Posted by chitown85

I was never a fan of the North Shore and never have spent much time there. From what I can gather, Winnetka is a closed community. I wouldn't necessarily term it lakefront liberal, but it certainly is not bible belt conservative. It's simply closed. Winnetka and Kenilworth have never been politically correct places to live. While more subtle, the mindset remains the same.

You are close enough to Evanston to enjoy it and spend time there. You can make friends there. Ravenswood is a bit more middle class than Winnetka, which is probably a nice break as well. Perhaps Northbrook or Glenview would be a bit more to your liking.

How can you make such blanket statements about places when you "never have spent much time there" ?

[chitown85]

I have spent time there, but I don't go often. I sometimes eat up there and sometimes go to the beach up there.

[cubssoxfan]

Originally Posted by chitown85

I have spent time there, but I don't go often. I sometimes eat up there and sometimes go to the beach up there.

If that's your basis, then I will speak up. I worked in Winnetka 25 years ago, in a retail establishment. I found most people to be grounded, friendly and very approachable. Sure there were some with noses high in the air. But having also worked in Skokie and Glencoe, I enjoyed the people in Winnetka the most. Families seemed to do a good job of teaching their kids character, manners and a beginning work ethic.

[chitown85]

There's snobby people everywhere. Just because one lives in Winnetka doesn't make them snobby. I've merely asserted it is a more "closed" society. The families tend to go far back as does the business atmosphere.

[cubssoxfan]

Closed due to the cost of entry? Yes. Closed in terms of homeowner not selling to you because you don't have the correct last name? No. Closed in terms of not gaining entrance to the private club? Sure, but not unique to Winnetka. Closed in terms of neighbors not including you because they have friendships over multiple generations or are a well known family slow to trust newcomers in order to guard their privacy and security-sure. But this happens elsewhere too.

[chitown85]

Closed in terms of not gaining entrance to the private club? Sure, but not unique to Winnetka. Closed in terms of neighbors not including you because they have friendships over multiple generations or are a well known family slow to trust newcomers in order to guard their privacy and security-sure. But this happens elsewhere too.[/quote]

Perhaps that's why the OP doesn't like Winnetka and feels she will be better off in another area.