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I posted this in another forum and thought maybe it would be good to post thi here too. I hope this is not a problem I just feel pretty desperate and can't make up my mind about this and would greatly appreciate help.
I was born in Chicago but raised in Germany for 17 years, I just turned 20.
I always wanted to live and go to college in Chicago and return "home" since elementary school.
I moved to Hawaii to live with my father for a year to start college and then go back to Chicago to live and go to college. Then plan is not going to work out. I can't count on him anymore and I live in a abuse shelter right now. I met a few really helpful and very kind people in this difficult time, there is a program that is going to pay for my tuition at a community college and we put in an application for food stamps. I tried to work and do college full time but I couldn't do it. I suffer from depression and an eating disorder which both got worse with what happened here. Right now I don't know what to do or where I belong, these people here are helping me in every way they can and it's beautiful here but it just doesn't feel like home. I hate having summer all year long, the roaches and ants that are here no matter how much you clean are driving me crazy. The food prices are over the moon, I guess you could see that as a positive considering my eating disorder I sound like a completely messed up person but I was doing great in school and with my illness before this happened.
I don't want to go to college here for the next four years I think. I know that I don't want to live here after college, that's very clear to me so I'm wondering if it would be a bad idea for me to stay here and finish college and then go to Chicago. I just hear and read everywhere that you find your lifelong friends in college and when I then go to start working in the profession that I choose in chicago....I don't know if it then would really be harder to find friends. I don't want to be on food stamps but right now I have to fix myself and found a therapist and hope/will start working again as soon as I'm stable enough to not completely fall apart and mess up my grades in school. I feel like I'm just complayning but I'm just not happy. Maybe I would be happier if I accept my fate that I just can't go to college in Chicago?
I don't even know if there would be programs like the one here that is paying for my tuition, so where would I get the money for school and a place to live from right? I would have to take out student loans and I'm afarid to do that. I don't know if I would find people like here who help me when I have a problem but I just can't make up my mind. I already made plans to aplly to several colleges and dreamed about how it would be to study there and now I feel like I can forget that.
Even though I have only lived in Chi as a baby and don't remember anything there is this feeling inside me that wants to go back as soon as possible. Do you guys think that this is just irrational and stupid/unatainable for someone like me in this situation to want to go to Chicago without anything or anyone there? I don't know if living in Hawaii and scraping by money wise is worse than scraping by in Chicago. Should I just get it together and suck it up and be more appreciative of what I have here?
Have you been back to Chicago since your childhood? It may not be the way you remember it. I've lived in Hawaii and I love Chicago so my advice would be: if you really don't care that much about being in Hawaii, don't go through the hassles, high prices etc. to stay there. Good luck to you.
What is the reason you are interested in Chicago? It is indeed a fantastic place; but at the same time, it does have some serious public safety issues and some other negatives. Are you interested in Chicago because of something you saw on TV or saw on the internet, or are there are some family connections that you can fall back on? I know you said you dont remember any of it, but maybe there is some deep subconscious memory that is making you want to go there.
And like others said, this place has changed dramatically over the past 20 years (its actually better though). It is expensive, but not as high-priced as Hawaii. And as far as programs go, there really are a lot of social services here; I am sure there is one that can help you.
As far as college goes, a lot of the schools here seem hard to get int, and can be really high-priced. DePaul, UIC, etc are very costly and competitive. There are other schhols though here in the city that you can easily attend and stand a good chance of acceptance.
I know I repeat myself but I the wish or how you want to call it, to move to Chicago is there because I planned to do it for 17 years and it seems like a great place to be. I grew up in a smaller town in Germany and always wanted to live in a big city. I find the university's to be impressive, the art and music scene and just all the possibilities to do something/ meet new people. I just feel like from everything I have heard and seen this would be the perfect place for me. The plan was that my father would be with me but that's not going to happen anymore. I don't know who the school thing would work out because I have no money and the pell grant only goes so far and I don't know how it works out with loans, I have no credit or anything. Seems really like all odds are against me with no money
If you come here be prepared to work in a low paying job probably in retail or a fast food restaurant so you can get some money. Even then you have to be employable (reliable, presentable, etc.). You can get room mates so rent could be fairly cheap. You can establish residency here and go to relatively low cost Chicago city colleges and then transfer to another school or go to a trade school. You will need some money saved up to get here and live for a while until you get a job. What you are trying to do is difficult but not impossible. If you come here maybe you could give yourself a few weeks, live in a hostel and see if you can get a job. Don't burn your bridges on the back end because if things don't work out you will have to go back there.
If you speak German perhaps you could be a tutor or something. Maybe visit the Dank Haus, the German cultural center and they might hire you. Possibly they may also have some kind of job there. http://dankhaus.com/
Last edited by ToriaT; 09-25-2013 at 06:53 AM..
Reason: Add info
I posted this in another forum and thought maybe it would be good to post thi here too. I hope this is not a problem I just feel pretty desperate and can't make up my mind about this and would greatly appreciate help.
I was born in Chicago but raised in Germany for 17 years, I just turned 20.
I always wanted to live and go to college in Chicago and return "home" since elementary school.
I moved to Hawaii to live with my father for a year to start college and then go back to Chicago to live and go to college. Then plan is not going to work out. I can't count on him anymore and I live in a abuse shelter right now. I met a few really helpful and very kind people in this difficult time, there is a program that is going to pay for my tuition at a community college and we put in an application for food stamps. I tried to work and do college full time but I couldn't do it. I suffer from depression and an eating disorder which both got worse with what happened here. Right now I don't know what to do or where I belong, these people here are helping me in every way they can and it's beautiful here but it just doesn't feel like home. I hate having summer all year long, the roaches and ants that are here no matter how much you clean are driving me crazy. The food prices are over the moon, I guess you could see that as a positive considering my eating disorder I sound like a completely messed up person but I was doing great in school and with my illness before this happened.
I don't want to go to college here for the next four years I think. I know that I don't want to live here after college, that's very clear to me so I'm wondering if it would be a bad idea for me to stay here and finish college and then go to Chicago. I just hear and read everywhere that you find your lifelong friends in college and when I then go to start working in the profession that I choose in chicago....I don't know if it then would really be harder to find friends. I don't want to be on food stamps but right now I have to fix myself and found a therapist and hope/will start working again as soon as I'm stable enough to not completely fall apart and mess up my grades in school. I feel like I'm just complayning but I'm just not happy. Maybe I would be happier if I accept my fate that I just can't go to college in Chicago?
I don't even know if there would be programs like the one here that is paying for my tuition, so where would I get the money for school and a place to live from right? I would have to take out student loans and I'm afarid to do that. I don't know if I would find people like here who help me when I have a problem but I just can't make up my mind. I already made plans to aplly to several colleges and dreamed about how it would be to study there and now I feel like I can forget that.
Even though I have only lived in Chi as a baby and don't remember anything there is this feeling inside me that wants to go back as soon as possible. Do you guys think that this is just irrational and stupid/unatainable for someone like me in this situation to want to go to Chicago without anything or anyone there? I don't know if living in Hawaii and scraping by money wise is worse than scraping by in Chicago. Should I just get it together and suck it up and be more appreciative of what I have here?
You have lots of stuff going on but first let me congratulate you for showing that Hawaii isn't all that! Facing another Chicago winter separates the women from the girls
Anytime you romanticize something or somewhere else, you run the risk of just recreating the same situation in a different physical location. Wherever you go, there you are.
Having said that....honor your intuition! It is your spiritual GPS system. I disagree with those on here who always advocate being safe. What is safety? One's emotional safety is also important.
Research how to do it and it will come to you. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and stay on a positive track.
Look up Teal Scott on Youtube because she has videos that will probably resonate on how to become happy.
If you are getting help and assistance at your college, you can stay there 2 years and if you feel the same in 2 years
you can transfer to Chicago (depending if most of your college credits transfer). In the mean time, you can save some
money and get the best grades you can - high GPA which might help you with scholarships later. I wouldn't focus on
4 years at one university to maintain friendships....friendships can happen if you decide to move to Chicago.
Best wishes to you and take your time to decide.
A big thank you to everyone!
I'm definitely going to try to find out more about this German cultural center and if that's not working out I know that I will have to work a minimum wage job to get by, but I'm fine with that. I'm also thinking about finishing my AA here and then try to transfer to a 4-year in Chicago. After that I would have to transfer anyway so maybe that would be the way to go?! But then I would come to Chicago and either pay the out of state tuition or just take one class to stay under 6 credit, which is a requirement and work the rest of the time. I guess I will have to do that no matter what, just wondering when it would be best. Ah that's me thinking out loud.
But I'm very thankful for all the thoughts/tips and well wishes!
You're only 20, with your whole life ahead of you. You can keep your dream alive by taking constructive actions that will put you in a good position to move to Chicago when the time is appropriate. Armed with some savings, and the right credentials, virtually anything is possible..
Good luck.
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Facing another Chicago winter separates the women from the girls
