Chinese American Men, White Girls, & Dating (Chicago: neighborhood, living in)

[goodlife36]

Originally Posted by caligirl14

Small egg rolls made laugh out loud...

That is all I can contribute.

Me too! Lol!

[koctail]

Originally Posted by minos16

I always suspected cheapness was a mental disorder. I have no problem Dumping tons of cash but I tend to be picky and go used or even repair broken stuff.
Frugality is smart but cheapness is just retarded.

Frugal is just what cheap people call themselves. If you buy used and fix things, then you're cheap, sorry!

[hlcvd]

Originally Posted by minos16

I always suspected cheapness was a mental disorder. I have no problem Dumping tons of cash but I tend to be picky and go used or even repair broken stuff.

Frugality is smart but cheapness is just retarded.

If you are saving money while you are by yourself, that would be a smart thing to do. But if you act like that especially to the extreme of not tipping or paying for a meal on a date, that's very bad. You need to save whenever you can, but spend money when you need to also. That's true in both business and personal relationships.

[koctail]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

I used to go out with a guy, while he wasn't Asian, he's tall, very attractive, doctor who was very cheap. While he did always pay when we went out, he always talked about what he was not willing to spend his money on when it came to women. He actually said he goes to strip clubs and doesn't tip the dancers, saying he doesn't pay for sex and he's not going to pay strippers for what he could get for free.

So he doesn't "pay for it", yet he always pays when you go out? To me, that is the same thing. Are you on food stamps that you need his hand out?

[emathias]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

This is very true! Cheap men are a huge turn-off.

Originally Posted by minos16

I always suspected cheapness was a mental disorder. I have no problem Dumping tons of cash but I tend to be picky and go used or even repair broken stuff.

Frugality is smart but cheapness is just retarded.

A lot of Chinese men are cheap. I recently broke up with a Chinese man who I liked a lot, but one of the things that drove me NUTS was his cheapness. Sure, he was a student, but he was on full rides all the way through his doctorate (we were together eight years and I met him at the end of his first year in a masters program), made money with gigs (he's a musician) and teaching, and comes from a family with money that would make them upper-middle class even in the United States. So it's not like, even as a student, he was cheap by necessity.

Being the one with income, his cheapness was even more grating because he wouldn't let me spend MY money. Once he tried to have me call the front desk during a vacation to get a legitimate $5 charge removed from the bill just because he hadn't read the fine print.

The other thing I didn't like about him was his inability to make decisions on his own. He always needed to have me help make the most mundane decisions. This despite the fact he was smarter than me about many things and perfectly capable of doing things on his own.

So yeah, tell your friend to show some backbone, don't complain about what things cost (he doesn't have to throw money around if he doesn't want to waste money, he can just quietly choose less expensive options and not make a big deal about it), and ask lots of questions to get the girl(s) talking about themselves. You can be cheap about spendign money on yourself and still attract girls, but you can't make it seem like that's the only thing on your mind when it comes to money. Just be smart about money, don't obsess or the cost of things in front of girls, and he should be fine. Nobody can get every girl, so he just needs to get out there and learn to talk to them and get them to talk about themselves enough he can start to point out commonalities and shared interests, etc.

[emathias]

Originally Posted by koctail

So he doesn't "pay for it", yet he always pays when you go out? To me, that is the same thing. Are you on food stamps that you need his hand out?

Oh for the love of god - people who obsess over that sort of thing, or try to psycho-analyze their sex life or sexual motivations are like the worst at sex. The more you overthink sex, the less passion there is. I would get so bored if I tried to look too closely at my sexual motivations, or had a partner who did. Really, when it comes down to it, the only relevant question about sex is: Do I have my partner's permission? If yes, go at it like spring rabbits. Intellectual sex is for robots.

[eureka1]

I know guys who are looking for Asian women and haole women who like Asian men. Asians don't hang out in bars. Which is a plus.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by minos16

I always suspected cheapness was a mental disorder. I have no problem Dumping tons of cash but I tend to be picky and go used or even repair broken stuff.

Frugality is smart but cheapness is just retarded.

I've found that most people have stuff they aren't willing to spend money on (whether it be cars, clothes, etc. - they'll buy used, whatever) - there there's other stuff they'll spend loads on - maybe going out to eat or travel. Whatever you're "cheap" with - keep that to yourself - no one wants to hear it. But the things you ENJOY spending on, those are your passions. And if one of your passions is women, then you have to spend SOMETHING going after them. And as a guy, you'll get shot down a lot so you have to be confident and you have to keep trying. Yeah, I know, women can ask men out - but I've found that unless the guy at least THINKS going out with you was HIS idea, it likely won't work out cuz he figures he'd have noticed you if he'd been attracted in the first place.

[minos16]

Originally Posted by koctail

Frugal is just what cheap people call themselves. If you buy used and fix things, then you're cheap, sorry!

Nah, I actually enjoy vintage and repair..... Saving money just justifies it.

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by eureka1

I know guys who are looking for Asian women and haole women who like Asian men. Asians don't hang out in bars. Which is a plus.

You're right. They hang out in clubs and lounges here