Master Jay had another not-so-good experience in Chicago (Addison: deed, live) - Illinois (IL) - City-Data Forum

Master Jay · 06-22-2020, 08:45 AM

Good morning,

While dining outside on 24th and Oakley yesterday, there was a gentleman who appeared to be homeless and dealing with mental health issues. He was moving his seating location along Oakley Avenue frequently and appeared to be talking to himself. He had no shoes on. And he was NOT asking anyone for money or food, as their were about 30 tables in the closed-off-for dining section of the street.

At one point he walked and sat down on one end away from everyone. I thought this might be the best time to approach him since he was not near anyone (and I understand EVERYONE deserves to have respect, and has a sense of pride).

I quietly asked him if I could share a breadstick with him since I had a fresh basket delivered to my table. THAT ended up being a mistake! He went on to say that he was homeless until the end of the year, and he is a Chicago man, and he needs some real food. Then he advised me to give my breadstick to a bird and to get out of his face before he really shows me what he thinks. He proceeded to say these things as I walked away. And then I just avoided him.

I told my children that trying to share with him came from a good place, but sometimes even good intentions can backfire, but we should not let these kinds of experiences stop us from doing what we think is right (en route to lunch, I gave a man at the stoplight a couple of coins and made some quick pleasant talk).

Curious if anyone else would just say "F-it" going forward, or would you keep trying??

Apparently someone called the police, because 2 officers drove up and spoke with him, but did not force him to move on. And it also seems that one of the restaurant staff from Bruna's DID give him a meal. So I guess he was happy, then.

ChicagoMeO · 06-22-2020, 08:51 AM

hello, that guy is either mentally ill or has a bad attitude. I guess its Russian roulette, you might offer a breadstick to 6 homless, and 4 might be good about it and 2 might be bad.

If you are brave, or curious you could do this again to several people and see if it averages out.

You are lucky he didn't do worse to you than just holler.

One of my best experiences was a homlessperson asking me for $2 for McDonalds, so I gave her $4.00 and she was so excited that she ran a half block over to Popeyes Chicken, she was so excited that she could enjoy chicken and not cheap mcdonalds

so im sorry this happened, but chuck it up to the law of averages, some will like it and some wont. But don't let that change you, keep on doing a good deed if you choose. don't let one mentally ill person or person with a bad attitude ruin your good nature.

Master Jay · 06-22-2020, 08:57 AM

ChicagoMeO. thank you for sharing!!! That was a beautiful story with a very nice result!

Yes, I have had good experiences which is why I WANT to keep trying to be helpful. And great stories like yours are also inspiring!

In this case, I knew it was NOT worth trying to talk to him, because he seemed very mentally unstable as he spoke, which is why I just walked away.

And as I said to my children, I would just avoid him for the rest of my time there, since I do not WANT to fight with the man over something like that. Not that I was afraid of an attack, but as I teach: The BEST defense is to NOT BE THERE when a hand or foot can come towards you!

Curly Q. Bobalink · 06-22-2020, 12:27 PM

Look at the bright side, at least you weren't one of the 104 people across the city who were shot over the weekend.

As you know, there is typically a reason why people are homeless besides being "down on their luck". I'd say the two biggest are mental illness and drug abuse, the guy you interacted with may have been suffering from both. Typically, the best practice for dealing with a stick of dynamite or hornet's nest, is to walk on the other side of the road when you see one, at least that's my practice, and how I potentially see homeless people. The price I pay for my practice is not being able to do a good deed for someone. The price you paid for what you did was exactly what happened, a "bad encounter", but it could have just as easily gone the other way, or it could have even been worse. Too bad he wasn't able to recognize what you did for what it was, a gesture of Good Will from one person to another.

But I read your other post and saw that overall, you guys did a lot of stuff and had a nice time, so I'd say on balance, it was a Good Day. Especially because the homeless guy didn't stab you in the neck, LOL.

jasperhobbs · 06-22-2020, 01:29 PM

I remember a few years ago the cops were called to McDonalds as a guy had a sign 'will work for food' and the McDonalds had a 'were hiring' sign. Somebody stopped and told the guy to get a job and a scuffle took place.

Master Jay · 06-22-2020, 01:33 PM

Curly, my friend. Thank you for helping ME see the positive! I appreciate your kind words. And you are right, Sir. ONE real negative experience out of a whole day suggests it was, indeed, a great day! Thank you, again!

Master Jay · 06-22-2020, 01:37 PM

jasperhobbs, good afternoon and thank you for contributing.

That IS ironic, the story you shared! I remember years ago, my dad and I came down to Chicago. We were getting off on the Addison exit, I believe. Someone was asking for a handout. My dad offered the guy an apple. The guy shooed him away. My dad responded, "oh, I guess you're not THAT hungry " and then we drove away.

Personally, I'd rather share food than money with those asking for handouts. If they ARE hungry, they'll accept!

devdaen · 06-22-2020, 03:50 PM

I stopped trying years ago. I have a nice life and I don't want it ruined by trying to interact with a drug addict or a person with mental problems.

Best to keep a distance.

Master Jay · 06-22-2020, 04:24 PM

devdaen, I have an older brother. And he is NOT about sharing. I love him and respect him and admire him. We are very night and day personalities. I took him on a couple trips with me to Chicago. Anytime I offered to help someone in need, he would be about a block ahead of me. He never waited for me. .... so you are NOT alone in your thinking. Thank you for sharing.

Robert9 · 06-22-2020, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasperhobbs

I remember a few years ago the cops were called to McDonalds as a guy had a sign 'will work for food' and the McDonalds had a 'were hiring' sign. Somebody stopped and told the guy to get a job and a scuffle took place.

Oh yeah telling someone who is begging that there is a place hiring always causes trouble! Seen it too many times.