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I chose my wording as joy, not happiness. And peace, during hard times. I've been struggling, And I feel hopeless. I have given up on myself, my life. I'm trying my best to trust God, but I don't feel any different, and life still looks the same... I talked to a friend and its a mental prison to him from how I described it. I can repeat bible verses and force myself to believe, but it's almost mocking and heart breaking when me and my family are going through things and they only get worse and worse. But, I see people in church who have peace, and they have more then me, and some have less then me. But everyone seems not depressed. For over 2 years I've cried out to God and his voice is quiet and silence. My prayers have hit the ceiling, and I literally ran out of tears to cry. And I have read the psalms, I am aware this happens in life. I've started to doubt Gods goodness. He could surely at least be here with me if he won't change things or help me. What am I missing? Why am I a miserable christian?How can I be a christian who has joy and peace? My heart is dying and I will still try my best to follow him. I'm not sure how many times I need to pray I surrender, too. If this is what life God has for me I've Ran away and become bitter. But now I just say whatever he wants, I have nothing else.
And I know self pity is a sin. I try to be positive as possible. But it hits me hard sometimes.
I think religion has been one of my greatest disappointments in life. I know god isn't supposed to make you "happy" nor is faith. But religion & faith are supposed to be a soft spot to land mentally when things are tough. Your situation may not improve and in fact may get worse- incredibly worse- but you're supposed to be able to to turn to god and faith during those periods for a sense of solace and comfort.
I used to be quite religious and did everything "right." During much of that period I had a a vivid sense of god walking along with me. Then for reasons I still don't understand it began to erode & I can't get it back. Like you I feel like it's almost mocking to try to go through the motions to get it back.
I'm not an atheist but in many ways I've given up by this point. I wish I had answers for myself & you other than "keep trying." If you figure something out, let me know!
I think religion has been one of my greatest disappointments in life. I know god isn't supposed to make you "happy" nor is faith. But religion & faith are supposed to be a soft spot to land mentally when things are tough. Your situation may not improve and in fact may get worse- incredibly worse- but you're supposed to be able to to turn to god and faith during those periods for a sense of solace and comfort.
I used to be quite religious and did everything "right." During much of that period I had a a vivid sense of god walking along with me. Then for reasons I still don't understand it began to erode & I can't get it back. Like you I feel like it's almost mocking to try to go through the motions to get it back.
I'm not an atheist but in many ways I've given up by this point. I wish I had answers for myself & you other than "keep trying." If you figure something out, let me know!
Yeah, I agree. I read why Jesus is so much better then religion by Jeff Bethke, if that's a concern for you it is an awesome book, definitely read it okay?
And for how you feel, nothing seems to work. Christian life isn't about being happy I've figured out. All sacrifice. And happiness is a choice. No free rides for anyone
Yeah, I agree. I read why Jesus is so much better then religion by Jeff Bethke, if that's a concern for you it is an awesome book, definitely read it okay?
And for how you feel, nothing seems to work. Christian life isn't about being happy I've figured out. All sacrifice. And happiness is a choice. No free rides for anyone
MAYBE this is where God wants you ...letting go. I too have been the places you describe. But something ( the Spirit of God in me) wouldn't let me give up, plus I just believed even though I didn't understand. And I still do. I believe when things are right and I believe when things are wrong (when I perceive them as wrong). And I also thought omg! I'm going everything "right" and what is this. I was disappointed, and pissed to say the least! But through it all I just believe God and guess what........he brought me to happy right in the midst of some stuff still happening. It really is a peace that SURPASSING UNDERSTANDING.
GOD DOES WANT US HAPPY. Maybe not that continual state every single moment, but happy...content and living life to the fullest that we can.
A good friend once told me that when something like this doesn't bother you, this is when you should worry. You have a good heart, Djmagnum. Hang in there. God bless you.
The secret for me to my complete change to a consistently happy person was
when I said, "Hey, there is a theme running thru what Jesus is saying.
WHAT IF I were to do what he is saying to do?"
And so that day in Jan 2006 I did!!!
I didn't worry (and I had PLENTY to worry about with a $1000 mortgage and
being self employed in that economy, that even became worse!)
I give/gave God my burdens ... down to the minutia of life...like the burden of stress
in 'where are my car keys and I'm late!'
I cast my cares.
I was anxious for nothing....period....nada....zero....ever again.
He became my teacher, my master, my guru and I his student and devotee..
I read more and more of this theme...he wanted me to have an abundant life...
I was his heir...if I ask for bread, would my earthly father give me a stone?
Think what my heavenly Father would give me from all his riches.
Delight in the Lord...my favorite.
Be still and know he is God... also my favorite.
Seek the Kingdom first...
Ahh, and the rest is history.
My friends of 35-40 years can not believe the change!
I wish the same on everyone...but it is none of my business at the same time...each
at his own pace...
The secret for me to my complete change to a consistently happy person was
when I said, "Hey, there is a theme running thru what Jesus is saying.
WHAT IF I were to do what he is saying to do?"
And so that day in Jan 2006 I did!!!
I didn't worry (and I had PLENTY to worry about with a $1000 mortgage and
being self employed in that economy, that even became worse!)
I give/gave God my burdens ... down to the minutia of life...like the burden of stress
in 'where are my car keys and I'm late!'
I cast my cares.
I was anxious for nothing....period....nada....zero....ever again.
He became my teacher, my master, my guru and I his student and devotee..
I read more and more of this theme...he wanted me to have an abundant life...
I was his heir...if I ask for bread, would my earthly father give me a stone?
Think what my heavenly Father would give me from all his riches.
Delight in the Lord...my favorite.
Be still and know he is God... also my favorite.
Seek the Kingdom first...
Ahh, and the rest is history.
My friends of 35-40 years can not believe the change!
I wish the same on everyone...but it is none of my business at the same time...each
at his own pace...
I chose my wording as joy, not happiness. And peace, during hard times. I've been struggling, And I feel hopeless. I have given up on myself, my life. I'm trying my best to trust God, but I don't feel any different, and life still looks the same... I talked to a friend and its a mental prison to him from how I described it. I can repeat bible verses and force myself to believe, but it's almost mocking and heart breaking when me and my family are going through things and they only get worse and worse. But, I see people in church who have peace, and they have more then me, and some have less then me. But everyone seems not depressed. For over 2 years I've cried out to God and his voice is quiet and silence. My prayers have hit the ceiling, and I literally ran out of tears to cry. And I have read the psalms, I am aware this happens in life. I've started to doubt Gods goodness. He could surely at least be here with me if he won't change things or help me. What am I missing? Why am I a miserable christian?How can I be a christian who has joy and peace? My heart is dying and I will still try my best to follow him. I'm not sure how many times I need to pray I surrender, too. If this is what life God has for me I've Ran away and become bitter. But now I just say whatever he wants, I have nothing else.
And I know self pity is a sin. I try to be positive as possible. But it hits me hard sometimes.
I don't know if this is the type of answer you seek but you are a miserable Christian because you are coming to the very painful realization that the Christian belief system you have held for at least two years (probably your whole life) is untenable. You are realizing the following:
1) God is not blessing you more than non-Christians, simply because you are trying to be one of His followers.
2) God is not communicating with you even though it is not unreasonable to ask for communication and expect to get it if there is to be a relationship between you and God.
3) God is not improving your situation nor giving you any form of explanation for why this is good for you. So much for "all things work together for good for those who love Him".
4) Most of what has been taught to you about God and God's nature has been proven, or at least strongly shown to be, untrue by the evidence presented to your senses in real life.
How can you be a Christian who has joy and peace? Turn off your brain and blindly follow the teachings of the nearest Christian minister. Don't dare try to reason through anything, question anything, etc. Just blindly follow. Walk by faith, not by sight. No matter what happens, wistfully explain it away as "this is God's will and it's for the best". I can assure you, and I'm not being sarcastic here, you have no chance of being joyful and peaceful in any type of Christian walk if you try to apply reason, logic, and rationality to it. I've lost count of how many people I have questioned - the number of pastors alone is in the double digits - and each and every last one of them gets to saying "I don't know" eventually. Many of them say that you can't apply human reason and logic to God. Well, if "I don't know" is not acceptable and you must "know", you will be miserable. Period. You sound like you must "know". I'm the same way. This is why I'm on my way out of Christianity. I have set a time limit for definitive, perceptible communication from God and if I don't get it by the appointed time, I am becoming a deist and renouncing Christianity. I guarantee, I will be a happier person that way if the only alternative is staying Christian in essentially the same type of situation as you have.
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