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@tpw037....I hope you're still around and read this. I just want to encourage you to keep pressing in. You're on the right path, don't let anyone rob you of your first love, even you. Stay in the Word, and make it your first priority. Weigh everything ANYONE, including pastors (actually, ESPECIALLY pastors) say to you, according to what you read.
If you don't understand something, that's ok, put it on a shelf, until you do. Ask the Lord to teach you by His Spirit. The Word says He will, though most people seem to ignore that scripture; don't be one of them.
Don't assume because someone has been walking with Him longer than you, that they necessarily know the truth. There are babes galore who have sat on church pews for 40 years, never progressing past the milk.
Spend time with Him, talk to Him every day like He was in the room with you, because He is. Ask Him to baptize you in His Spirit. It's the power you need to stand, among many other things. Don't beat yourself up when you fall and don't allow others to heap condemnation upon you for it, for condemnation ministers death to you. He forgives you and they have no right not to. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on pressing in. No loving parent would see their small child fall in the mud and then beat it up for falling and getting dirty. Is man more righteous than Him?
Blessings and strength to you in your inner man this day.....peace.
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