Cincinnati....A bad place for dating? (Columbus, Covington: house, neighborhood, buying)

[Keith043082]

Now to start this off, I'm not calling this a ***** thread, only a mere, "What is your opinion?" one.

Background:

I have grown up not really being a serious dater. I never really dated anyone in high school. I dated a few people in college, however I was never really serious about it, because I was more interested in starting my career. (I went to school at OSU) I've have dated a few serious people since then (1 serious that ended two years ago, and lots of first dates)

I'm not a big bar person, in reality, I rarely drink (more like 2-3 beers a year). Not narcing on bars, I go, but probably won't drink anything. Most of my friends are married, in a serious relationship, or having kids. I'm one of two friends not dating, etc at the moment. So we hardly to never go out or do anything like we did 4-6 years ago.

I've tried E-Harmony, Match.com, Plenty-Of-Fish, etc with just a bunch of first dates. Not bad first dates I believe, but anyone single probably knows the feeling. It's almost sad when you send a well thought out message only to not have it returned.

So that's my background. How do people feel about dating here? From other people I know through work or just meeting, I get "It sucks". I'm looking for men and women, married or single opinions. Not beating on anyone, just a friendly discussion

[skippercollector]

I'm 49 and female. Cincinnati is a horrid place to meet single men. Growing up, I honestly thought something was wrong with me. It wasn't until I got out of college and started traveling to other parts of the US that I realized that the problem wasn't always me. Why?
1. For late-era baby boomers and early-era Generation X (I was born in 1961), there is a much larger female to male to ratio in Greater Cincinnati. Every place I've ever been as long as I can remember, there have always been more girls than guys around.
2. Most of the men I've met who were born and raised here are not only conservative, they're also a little uptight and very, very picky (probably because they can afford to be). They don't like it when someone who is less than perfect comes up to talk to them.
3. As I mentioned in another post a few weeks ago, if you don't find someone by the time you're out of college, it's likely that you never will.
I discovered in my 20s that men from other cities are not only more tolerant of women starting conversations, they don't act insulted if someone who isn't gorgeous pays attention to them.
I hope that the rest of you have more positive stories to tell. I sure don't!

[woxyroxme]

Originally Posted by skippercollector

3. As I mentioned in another post a few weeks ago, if you don't find someone by the time you're out of college, it's likely that you never will!

I have seen where Cincinnati was rated one of the worst places for singles, more than once. For the record I met my wife when I was 20 and she was 17, that was in 1984.

[Forest_Hills_Daddy]

Generally speakig though, a university is still one of the most effective places to hook up so there's some truth to the statement about finding someone by the time you're out of collge (or grad school). It's a good place to build relationships with lots of people in one place where people get to know each other really well and grow into each other.

Take NYC for instance. Sure, there are lots of interesting people who can be approached for good conversations. But you don't know what baggage they might be carrying and people are always trying to put their best foot forward.

[Chemistry_Guy]

I can think of a couple of reasons why Cincinnati isn't a great place for dating.

First, the various Cincinnati social scenes don't mix a lot, and I'm not just talking about the bar scene. Many people like to find a niche (rec sports, running, art openings, preppy bars, dive bars, dog parks, theater, etc.) and they rarely if ever venture outside of their comfort zone. Others just always hang out with their family, co-workers, or neighbors, and you won't crack that social circle unless you get a new job or happen to move into the neighborhood.

Second, there is a lack of a common geographical common meeting place for many groups. While the twentysomething professional crowd has hotspots in trendy areas where aspiring yuppies can meet each other, and the hipster music scene can be navigated by the few that are in the know, large chunks of the single-but-seeking population are more or less homeless on the dating landscape. The internet fills this role in some ways, but many people are still skeptical and have trust issues associated with the digital realm.

Finally, disposable income makes dating a lot more fun, and Cincinnati is not the wealthiest place. Buying a round of drinks, dining at a fancy restaurant, hitting the casinos, etc. is not nearly as much fun if you have to eat ramen for a week as a consequence. Cincinnatians tend to be practical, and would rather invest their paychecks in their homes, vehicles, or gun collections (you know who you are, JS!) than in experiences. As a result, social gatherings are much more likely to occur at residences than in a publicly accessible place.


Then again, I may have it all wrong, as most of my experience is secondhand. I was a graduate student for most of my post-college single life and I met my wife when I was 23. I met my best friend (outside my family) when I was in gradeschool and I bought a house 5 minutes away from the place where I grew up, and when someone asks me where I went to school, I briefly consider whether to tell them my highschool or my elementary school. My social circle is dominated by my twenty cousins living within a ten mile radius of the house where our mothers were born. Maybe the Cincinnati dating scene is hurtin' because my background is fairly typical for a Cincinnatian.

[badguykc]

If you were born or raised in Cincinnati, Covington, Newport, or the surrounding towns; you should have no problems meeting anyone. However, if you're not from Cincinnati and new to town...GOOD LUCK. The minute you open your mouth and tell a potential date you're from out of town, they split. I never could understand why. I NEVER had this problem in Pittsburgh or Columbus.

Cincinnati's dating scene sucks, and it sucks BADLY.

My opinion.

[johnyjohn2]

hmm. I love ohio.

[Cincy-Rise]

Originally Posted by badguykc

If you were born or raised in Cincinnati, Covington, Newport, or the surrounding towns; you should have no problems meeting anyone. However, if you're not from Cincinnati and new to town...GOOD LUCK. The minute you open your mouth and tell a potential date you're from out of town, they split.

I've got some friends that could really help you out in this area ... just shoot me a PM and I'll forward you their numbers. It sounds like it might be some things you could work on in the "swagger" department?

[Wilson513]

Originally Posted by Keith043082

Now to start this off, I'm not calling this a ***** thread, only a mere, "What is your opinion?" one.

Background:

I have grown up not really being a serious dater. I never really dated anyone in high school. I dated a few people in college, however I was never really serious about it, because I was more interested in starting my career. (I went to school at OSU) I've have dated a few serious people since then (1 serious that ended two years ago, and lots of first dates)

I'm not a big bar person, in reality, I rarely drink (more like 2-3 beers a year). Not narcing on bars, I go, but probably won't drink anything. Most of my friends are married, in a serious relationship, or having kids. I'm one of two friends not dating, etc at the moment. So we hardly to never go out or do anything like we did 4-6 years ago.

I've tried E-Harmony, Match.com, Plenty-Of-Fish, etc with just a bunch of first dates. Not bad first dates I believe, but anyone single probably knows the feeling. It's almost sad when you send a well thought out message only to not have it returned.

So that's my background. How do people feel about dating here? From other people I know through work or just meeting, I get "It sucks". I'm looking for men and women, married or single opinions. Not beating on anyone, just a friendly discussion

First off, you are right to not want to meet women in bars. I have been in the single scene in three different decades and I can tell you that the women you meet in bars are mostly women who like bars, alcohol, being picked up in a bar or a combination of those. Not good material for a serious relationship.

Second, the way to meet women is to look at yourself and see if you are the kind of guy a woman would want to meet and date. Do you have a good job? Are you fit and not a slob? Are you nice to the women in your life? Are you of service to others? You can work on all of those things and will feel good regardless of the dating thing.

Finally, make new male friends. That is how you meet women. All of those guys have sisters, girlfriends and wives who will be wanting to fix you up. Remember, even if they fix you up with a total munter, be nice, courteous and be sure she has a good time. Next time that girl fixes you up she will know you won't embarrass her which is what it is all about. If you are a dependable "good date" eventually you will get fixed up with the first tier of fixups. Don't expect some guy's girlfriend to set you up with Megan Fox on day one.

[Tubby513]

Step your game up.