Can someone please recommend me a better US city? (having a hard time in San Francisco socially)

[jayp1188]

Originally Posted by JulianH

Not trying to be offensive to you, RabiSankor, but it's possible that you could be being a little overly self-conscious about it and women are picking up on it. Believe it or not, confidence and a positive attitude can go a long way

I completely agree with this.

I'm an Indian guy myself, I lived in San Francisco for a couple years. I never really found women there to be unwilling to date Indian guys or any other guys due to ethnicity. I dated a white girl there for a few months, and I knew other Indian guys who dated non-Indian girls as well. While some women aren't attracted to certain peoples, most really don't care what race or ethnicity you are. San Francisco is one of the best places an Indian guy can be for interracial dating. In regards to the other cities you are interested in, I've also lived in Chicago, New York, and spent a few months in LA and dating won't be any different from San Francisco in these three cities.

Originally Posted by RabiSankor

I have tried to chat it up with women at bars and such but most have said that they do not see Indian men in that light and some even say "don't your parents handle the marriage part for you".

Are you bringing up dating and marriage right off the bat at bars? If you are, you might just be scaring women away.

Originally Posted by RabiSankor

Also, compared to women in other states, in terms of looks women here aren't as attractive either.

Honestly, I think the problem just might be you. You don't seem to have the best attitude towards women there. Women will sense this. It could be a multitude of other reasons, I have no clue what your personality is like or how you approach women. But lets just say that the friendly, confident, positive, and funny Indian guys I know in the Bay Area have no problems when it comes to dating non-Indian women. Being Indian in the Bay Area (or most big cities for that matter) is not some sort of handicap or disability when it comes to dating.

If you leave the Bay Area for this specific reason, then you'll likely be disappointed in other cities where dating is likely going to be no different, or possibly worse. My point is, the problem isn't San Francisco or the Bay Area as far as interracial dating is concerned.

[hindukid]

Well since I have the same background I as OP I will chime in. Grew up in upstate NY and am very americanized for an Indian guy.

What I find in general is that the larger the minority population the more likely the minority group is to congregate together and become rather exclusive. Where I grew up (Albany suburbs) there were just a handful of Indians. Most of us grew up pretty much white and I probably don't think much differently than the rest of my high school.

Where my parents live now outside Houston (Sugar Land, TX) is the complete opposite. 30% Asian population and thousands of Indians in just one suburb. The Indian kids in the high school there have almost exclusively an Indian group of friends. There are Indian bars and parties and you could almost never talk to a white person if you wanted.

Bay area is kind of like where my parents live now. It has the highest percentage of Indians of anywhere in the country.

However where I disagree with the OP is that throughout my life I have found most other races to be pretty open. Truthfully almost all my interaction has been with white people as they generally compose the vast majority of the population in my schools and neighborhoods.

If there is an area though where I could really see a very anti indian sentiment though it would be the Bay area. First because there is such a strong indian population which is no doubt very exclusive. But second because there is a huge number of FOB Indian dudes working in silicon valley. Software dudes from India are really not who you want to be representing you. Generally pretty dorky and almost always with some crazy sexist views that are sure to **** off women. Just the way they are raised in India.

Personally I think here in Chicago most of the typical north side white girls would have no issue dating Indian guys. I think most of them are pretty clueless about the fact the many indians self segregate themselves and those that are aware are generally happy to see Indians that are open to making white friends.

I'd rank your chances of finding white girls as follows:

1. Progressive cities with small indian populations. Probably mostly college towns like Madison WI, Bloomington IN, Boulder CO.

2. Progressive cities with small or midsize indian populations: Chicago, LA, Denver, DC, Phil, Boston, Albany, Hartford, Providence,Seattle, Portland, Manhattan

3. Progressive cities with huge Indian populations. NYC outside manhattan and Bay area

4. Moderate cities with indian populations: Houston, Dallas, Atlanta

5. Conservative cities

[AtheistGorilla]

I agree with hindukid, your problem is that you're what we call a FOB (Fresh off the Boat) lol, no offense. Kinda that classic dorky Indian guy with annoying opinions etc. I live in Chicago we can't stand that over here - you won't have much luck anywhere in America until you work on yourself a bit. I'm not sure how to unFOB someone lol, but my guess is you'd have to go through hell doing things completely opposite to how you usually do them.

[hindukid]

Originally Posted by RabiSankor

I have an All American accent, born and raised here, and I am not anything close to an FOB.

I was in no way implying that you were a FOB. Just that the bay area is probably the FOB capital. You may have to overcome the FOB stereotype.