Mature Gay Couple to NY or LA? (Los Angeles, life, people)

[LuvSouthOC]

I just moved from DC fairly recently and spent at least two weekends a month in NYC for years. Accela was my friend and I know NYC well. In any case, I honestly think NYC is vastly overated. Add to that the fact that costs on everything in NYC are exorbatant, taxes high, and the city as a whole is, at least in my opinion, vastly over-hyped and has been sterilized compared to what it used to be. The stress levels in NYC also are far too high. LA can be much more relaxing if you avoid commuting.

In sum, I think LA wins hands down. Note too that metro LA is a very large place and it encompasses far more than West Hollywood for Peat's sake. Can you be more specific as to where in LA your spouse would be working?

We too are a couple and chose OC over LA. I am not suggesting you do the same. It is only to make you aware that gay people chose to live where they want nowadays, well, at least in California.

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by stylistvg

Ok, wow...to the two previous posters. Im a damn WOMAN, and I GO to the gym. I also happen to live in WeHo and work in the movie business, ALL of LA worships at the altar of youth and beauty not just WeHo for gods sakes. I have alot of older gay male friends who are leaving LA. I was just sharing MY experiences and those of my gay older friends. Sheesh...way to be A@#holes you two.

They're probably single, older gay men who are still chasing 20 somethings. That's why they're unhappy. I've met dozens, and know there are thousands, of happily married or long term partnered gay couples in LA. The OP could be one of them if he moves here with his partner.

[CALGUY]

Originally Posted by stylistvg

I live in west hollywood and honestly one thing to consider is LA is SOOOO not the city to grow old in. It is a city worshiping at the altar of youth and beauty. The majority of men i see about town in WeHo are young and super fit. Im personally moving back to the east coast as soon as i can (im 45), as Im feeling more and more out of place here. The quality of life in terms of what you get for your money is better in LA but I would take NYC in a heartbeat if I could afford to live there

I think your problem is, you have not accepted the fact that being gay, is for the younger people.
Being able to hop from bed to bed, with whoever turns you on is strictly for the younger generation.
It has always been this way, and always will be.
We older gays don't have what it takes to impress others on a purely physical level,and isn't that what gay is all about?
We all reach that point when we no longer are able to attract the hot ones like we could when we were in our twenties.
We go to the same haunts, but the thrill of the hunt is gone, because we don't feel the same any more.
So friend, take it for what it's worth, moving from anywhere when you are 45 or older, is only running from something that will be with you for the rest of your life.
Perhaps it is time for you to move from a predominantly gay area, and look more to an area where the demographics are not so one sided.
It all boils down to accepting who you are, and dealing with it.
No need to leave Los Angeles, just a need to free yourself from the gay community.
I learned many years ago that gay was for the younger generation, and accepted that fact.
You might want to consider the same.
Bob.

[NyWriterdude]

Originally Posted by disgruntled la native

the OP is already partnered, presumably for the long term, so he's probably not worried about the "scene" and appearing fit and trendy. He also doesn't have to live in West Hollywood, many older gay men buy homes in quieter, more suburban areas. Finally, even if all you say is true, how would NYC be any different? Youth and beauty are worshipped everywhere.

Exactly. Youth and beauty are worshipped everywhere. But as he is partnered and he and his partnered are established in their careers I seriously doubt they can what idiots are doing in Weho Clubs. Older people generally retire from the nightclub scene and move on with their lives. Really, there's a lot more to life to focus on than clubs.

He was asking overall which city would be best.

It really depends on personal taste. What weather do you like is important? Do you like having more space and driving more (keeping in mind people in NY drive cars too)? I guess it depends on what kind of writing the OP does. New York is bigger in publishing, advertising, newswriting, and theatre while LA is bigger in film and tv.

[NyWriterdude]

Originally Posted by CALGUY

I think your problem is, you have not accepted the fact that being gay, is for the younger people.
Being able to hop from bed to bed, with whoever turns you on is strictly for the younger generation.
It has always been this way, and always will be.
We older gays don't have what it takes to impress others on a purely physical level,and isn't that what gay is all about?
We all reach that point when we no longer are able to attract the hot ones like we could when we were in our twenties.
We go to the same haunts, but the thrill of the hunt is gone, because we don't feel the same any more.
So friend, take it for what it's worth, moving from anywhere when you are 45 or older, is only running from something that will be with you for the rest of your life.
Perhaps it is time for you to move from a predominantly gay area, and look more to an area where the demographics are not so one sided.
It all boils down to accepting who you are, and dealing with it.
No need to leave Los Angeles, just a need to free yourself from the gay community.
I learned many years ago that gay was for the younger generation, and accepted that fact.
You might want to consider the same.
Bob.

When people are first old enough to drink it's really fun to go out and party. But as you get older you SHOULD be more into maintaining your life (establish a good career, and doing other things in life you like). The party gay scene is just like straight people going to a nightclub. Most people retire from going out like that before their 20s end. I'm in my 30s and I don't go out like I used to. I still do sometimes, but I have plenty of other ways to spend my time.

Also, people need to be able to look in the mirror. Why are you approaching a hot young thing when you're totally bald with sagging skin and shriveled up muscles? If you can't find it within yourself to deal with someone who looks like you, why should anyone else deal with you? If you can't love yourself, no one else will. Respect for old age starts with you, who first have to admit that you're old, but so what, you love what you've become. Once you get to that point you can do more age appropriate activities and people.

[NyWriterdude]

Originally Posted by MordinSolus

Do you communicate exclusively via hyperbole? I didn't say anything disparaging about you.
And what does this even mean? "All" of Los Angeles "worships at the altar of youth and beauty?" Such nonsense. Everyone on the freaking planet values youth and beauty. How is LA any different from other places? Because the entertainment industry is prevalent? If LA were a coal town there would be a lot of miners here. But it's an entertainment city so we have a lot entertainers here. I'm not in entertainment and literally no one has said anything to me about youth or beauty. Most of the people I meet are just like the people anywhere else. They're normal, mostly kind, and mostly don't give a crap about what other are doing or what they look like if it doesn't effect them. This is just one of those things that people say just to say something. YOUR experience is one that is clearly seen through a very tainted lens.

When people say stuff like that they're talking about themselves and their friends. Even the entertainment industry does not exclusively worship youth and beauty. Lately I've noticed a lot of older actors like Meryl Streep getting a lot of good roles. Betty White is over 90 and is still a working actress. Talent and work ethic matters as well.

[nslander]

Originally Posted by disgruntled la native

They're probably single, older gay men who are still chasing 20 somethings. That's why they're unhappy. I've met dozens, and know there are thousands, of happily married or long term partnered gay couples in LA. The OP could be one of them if he moves here with his partner.

You're off on at least five counts.

Once more, my response was directed to the played-out WeHo=LA=Altar of Youth histrionics, an abbreviated, facetious version of what you yourself posted.

I even used an emoticon. And I hate emoticons. Now I have to live with the shame.

[NyWriterdude]

In terms of the lifestyle of 20 year old gays, it can't be all that great in a big city since.

LA is fantastically expensive. So is NY. So these young guys are living with lots of roommates. Unless you're making a certain amount of money, transportation is difficult.

Many people aren't really established in their careers enough to be able to afford a stable house, along with a car and other good things until they are 30s or 40s.

And spare me nonsense about the children of rich people. Most young people in LA do not have millionaire or billionaire parents. Ditto NY. Even those that do have rich parents don't have their own money generally until they are old. 20 year old celebrities and Zuckberberg's are very small parts of the population. Anyone who worships a 21 year old at an entry level job in a gay bar is showing his lack of intelligence and if you pursue that your whole life something is seriously wrong with you and your priorities.

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by NyWriterdude

When people are first old enough to drink it's really fun to go out and party. But as you get older you SHOULD be more into maintaining your life (establish a good career, and doing other things in life you like). The party gay scene is just like straight people going to a nightclub. Most people retire from going out like that before their 20s end. I'm in my 30s and I don't go out like I used to. I still do sometimes, but I have plenty of other ways to spend my time.

Also, people need to be able to look in the mirror. Why are you approaching a hot young thing when you're totally bald with sagging skin and shriveled up muscles? If you can't find it within yourself to deal with someone who looks like you, why should anyone else deal with you? If you can't love yourself, no one else will. Respect for old age starts with you, who first have to admit that you're old, but so what, you love what you've become. Once you get to that point you can do more age appropriate activities and people.

I never thought I'd give you reputation, but in this thread, your posts are 100% accurate.

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by nslander

You're off on at least five counts.

Once more, my response was directed to the played-out WeHo=LA=Altar of Youth histrionics, an abbreviated, facetious version of what you yourself posted.

I even used an emoticon. And I hate emoticons. Now I have to live with the shame.

Name the at least five counts then.