Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Have you asked your parents what they thought about you moving? I left my mother behind when I moved to NC back in 2006. My mother was well aware of our plans to move and waited until literally the day we were in the car to leave, before telling me she wished we wouldn't go. Unfortunately the deals were done and we had to go at that point. Things between us have never been the same since. Now she gets angry at every perceived little slight that she imagines I do to her.
I have talked to my parents a little about the move. They don't say much. Daddy joked about asking his church to pray we don't move away. My mom tends to bottle everything up and makes snide remarks when something bothers her. Yesterday she said her good friend and her husband both died the same day. She went on to tell me how mad she was at their daughter for moving away instead of staying to take care of them. :/ I know that was her way of saying I should stay for her. The guilt is weighing so heavily on me I don't think I can move away from them. My hubby says if they get to the point they really need my help they can move to where we are and I can take care of them there.
It sounds like the only reason you are living in Kernersville is for them.
I would just come up with a plan and implement it. If you want to be at the Coast with your kids and you have you ducks in a row, just workout a schedule where you can return to Kernersville every two months or so...specific Holidays, etc...it's not like they need you for everyday life...and if they do, then they need to consider some type of Assisted Living because YOU have 4 kids to raise, school and a Husband. You have a significant job...and it doesn't revolve around taking them grocery shopping because they don't want to ask someone else for help. You'd still be in NC, and you said your mother is part owner of the condo in Myrtle Beach, so you'd expect her to go there once in awhile.
Many elderly folks don't get the memo that they can't hold their children hostage just so they can have what THEY want. Without the responsibilities of jobs and raising families, they have to be flexible in where they live in order to build a support system OR live in a facility that takes care of them when they can't for themselves. I think your responsibility is to see them when you can and encourage them to come see you. Create a tradition (or keep some you have)...tell them you'll be there for Thanksgiving every year or Easter/Labor Day, etc...
Someone said you shouldn't take your children's wishes into account...I disagree, your children are more of a priority than elderly family...much more in my opinion. Your parents are adults and make their own decisions....I would not take their wishes into consideration.
HP91, that is they way I see it too. We think life would be the same as here, but with a lot of added bonuses for our family and for the kids. I told my mom I can come as often as possible to help her with her house on a weekends and we'll all have so much more fun having big slumber parties together! She did tell us she would spend a lot of her Summers with us and that would be awesome. I think we would all love it once we bite the bullet and just go for it. Our goal is to sell a lot of furniture, etc. find a condo or small home to rent for 6 months while we get the feel of the coast and figure out exactly where we would like to make our home. We are leaning towards Southport, Hampstead, etc. Any suggestions on a Mayberry type town, that is nice, clean, low crime, great for families, great neighborhoods, 10 mins to the beach?
HP91, that is they way I see it too. We think life would be the same as here, but with a lot of added bonuses for our family and for the kids. I told my mom I can come as often as possible to help her with her house on a weekends and we'll all have so much more fun having big slumber parties together! She did tell us she would spend a lot of her Summers with us and that would be awesome. I think we would all love it once we bite the bullet and just go for it. Our goal is to sell a lot of furniture, etc. find a condo or small home to rent for 6 months while we get the feel of the coast and figure out exactly where we would like to make our home. We are leaning towards Southport, Hampstead, etc. Any suggestions on a Mayberry type town, that is nice, clean, low crime, great for families, great neighborhoods, 10 mins to the beach?
If you are planning to continue to home-school, then it opens up your options. I think homeschooling is fine, but let me put this out there...I have a girl that I coach in soccer that is home-schooled....great girl and she gives me no problems, but...while the other kids love to interact with each other, she sets herself apart. While waiting to play, instead of hanging out with the other girls, she always goes and sits with her mother. I'm just telling you that to keep it in mind in terms of social activity with OTHER KIDS.
I'm a big fan of Southport myself, but I would check into the kids activities there...I am not sure about that. Obviously the Beach is an activity, but what other kids are they going to interact with and how. Keep in mind what your kids like to do...where are those activities. Do they play soccer? Gymnastics? That sort of stuff. I have heard so many complaints over the years from parents in Brunswick Co that say all they do is drive to New Hanover County for everything. If they are going to be in private school later on, those are pretty much all in New Hanover County.
Actually, this year I only homeschooled one of our 4 kids. She was the only one who wanted to try it. We've had a lot of fun, we are in a homeschool group where we get together for weekly field trips, holiday parties, and play dates. My other kids are in school and, not to brag, but they're all really popular. None of my kids have issues interacting or making friends, thank goodness! I was a public school kid my whole life and I was always that shy kid who was scared to join in. I'm very blessed with 4 bubbly, outgoing, happy kids. They also play golf with a youth program and my son plays soccer. He is the most animated, enthusiastic kid on his soccer team. He's 6 yrs old. We may or may not hs next year, but leaning more for it. Finding schools may or may not be an issue for us. I have heard great things about Southport Elementary. We also have family friends who live there and some of our kids bffs live there. It's awesome for them to already have some good friends down there. I do know some homeschool kids who are painfully shy like you talked about. Not my kids! :P Thanks for all the info. I'll look up New Hanover Co.
I have heard great things about Southport Elementary. We also have family friends who live there and some of our kids bffs live there. It's awesome for them to already have some good friends down there.
That's good to hear. I was going to suggest Southport as one of the few places on the coast that could be called "Mayberry-like".
often its the adult kids and their offspring who are sponging off the elderly parents that are the #1 health issue.
I know some people that are in that situation. I hate to see that happen.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
None of my kids have issues interacting or making friends, thank goodness! I was a public school kid my whole life and I was always that shy kid who was scared to join in. I'm very blessed with 4 bubbly, outgoing, happy kids. They also play golf with a youth program and my son plays soccer. He is the most animated, enthusiastic kid on his soccer team. He's 6 yrs old. We may or may not hs next year, but leaning more for it. Finding schools may or may not be an issue for us. I have heard great things about Southport Elementary. We also have family friends who live there and some of our kids bffs live there. It's awesome for them to already have some good friends down there. I do know some homeschool kids who are painfully shy like you talked about. Not my kids! :P Thanks for all the info. I'll look up New Hanover Co.
