Young couple looking to relocate - lots of questions (Wilmington: middle-class, high crime) - Coastal North Carolina - North Carolina (NC) - City-Data Forum

Banananana · 03-20-2016, 05:04 AM

I've been lurking and reading a lot of posts about the area but I guess what I find to be important isn't what other people are generally looking for so I thought I should make my own post.

We're moving from Long Island, NY to somewhere on the coast. Honestly I'm very open to location but would prefer something near Burgaw (1-3 hour drive) because my dad has land and will be building down there in a few years. I don't need to be on the water but a 15 minute drive would be ideal. I'm used to living on an island so living more than 30 minutes from the water would just be too weird for me.

We don't plan on having children for another 5+ years so middle and high school ratings aren't a huge concern. I don't care what the college rate is but I'd like a school that does prepare children for college if that's their choice.

I don't want to live in a hoity toity kind of area but I'd like to avoid slummy areas too. I'm used to middle class/lower middle class living and attitudes so I don't think I'd fare well I'm a very affluent area lol. I don't know what towns are considered "bad" so I don't know where to avoid looking. Insight on that is extremely important. That's probably my biggest concern overall. Also, I'm very liberal and I'd say my fiancee is slightly liberal so if there are certain areas I should avoid based on that please let me know.

My second biggest concern is land. I want at least an acre but would be much happier with 2 or more. I do plan to have ducks and chickens and I have an indoor pet pig so the area HAS to be zoned for those types of animals. Here on LI that's very hard to find.

Our budget is approximately 250-300k. I would like to stay under 250k but we can spend if it's the right house.

Thanks for reading my novel and thanks for any advice you can give me.

Lucky Dawg · 03-20-2016, 05:59 AM

Will you need employment? If so, thats going to be the most important factor.

As far as finding land and having animals, I think you'll generally find that being outside of the city limits in an unincorporated area will allow for that.

Your political leanings are irrelevant, unless you're planning on being extremely aggressive about pushing them on other people.

Based purely on what you've posted, I'd say look at unincorporated areas of Pender, Onslow and Carteret Counties.

goldenage1 · 03-20-2016, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banananana

Honestly I'm very open to location but would prefer something near Burgaw (1-3 hour drive) because my dad has land and will be building down there in a few years. I don't need to be on the water but a 15 minute drive would be ideal......
My second biggest concern is land. I want at least an acre but would be much happier with 2 or more. I do plan to have ducks and chickens and I have an indoor pet pig so the area HAS to be zoned for those types of animals......
Our budget is approximately 250-300k. I would like to stay under 250k but we can spend if it's the right house.

I think you would be fine in the towns south of Burgaw: Castle Hayne or Hampstead. Just make sure the property is in the county rather than an incorporated city, and I think you will be OK with having livestock. Just avoid anything with a Homeowner Association. Your budget might be tight for getting two acres within half an hour of the beach, but you might also try Maple Hill. You will be in middle/lower middle class areas. Nothing is "hoity-toity" in your budget range, so don't worry about it.

The only thing "bad" you might find are neighbors running a drug lab, but that is happening in middle-class areas now. Another thing to look at is neighbors who like to shoot guns on their property or run an auto junkyard. Those are "country" things, and it might annoy your liberal hearts, so ask a lot of question before you buy.

You have left out the most important thing: how you plan to make a living. If you need jobs, you would have to commute to Wilmington, Hampstead, Burgaw, or perhaps Jacksonville. The jobs situation is fairly tight, and you will find plenty of competition.

Banananana · 03-21-2016, 01:23 AM

I don't need employment because I'm on disability and my fiancee works on a tug so he'll be flying to work once a month. So employment is actually a nonissue for us.

I don't have any intention of arguing or forcing my political opinions on people but in my current area a lot of people do just that so I didn't want to move to an area where people did the same and were very conservative. I don't want my neighbors to hate me.

I honestly don't care what my neighbors do on their property. I'm actually very pro gun lol and part of the reason we're moving is the lack of freedom we have on our own property. Here you can only have 3 female birds, no pigs, goats or anything, regardless of the lot size, no guns, no archery even...I don't see the point in paying this much for my house and property if I'm held to so many regulations.

And thank you for all the advice so far. It's greatly appreciated

Banananana · 03-21-2016, 03:03 AM

Also, my reasoning for bringing up political views is that I've read in several other posts about it being a possible issue including this:
"Although if you express any of your liberal ideas and you are not from around here, you will not be received well. You may even hear things like "Go back home" or "no more yankees". I'm really not kidding."

I'm not one to bring up politics but I'm also not one to lie about my views or keep my mouth shut. I clearly have a NY accent (I'm working on that) so I don't want people to hate me just because I'm a somewhat liberal Yankee or something.

Lucky Dawg · 03-21-2016, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banananana

Also, my reasoning for bringing up political views is that I've read in several other posts about it being a possible issue including this:
"Although if you express any of your liberal ideas and you are not from around here, you will not be received well. You may even hear things like "Go back home" or "no more yankees". I'm really not kidding."

I would suggest that person probably isn't the best source of reliable information.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banananana

I'm not one to bring up politics but I'm also not one to lie about my views or keep my mouth shut.

Well, sometimes we all keep our mouths shut, unless we value aggressive confrontation. See below.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banananana

I clearly have a NY accent (I'm working on that) so I don't want people to hate me just because I'm a somewhat liberal Yankee or something.

Very few people will "hate" you because you have a New York accent. They may not appreciate you if you're loud, rude and obnoxious. But that's your decision.

Banananana · 03-22-2016, 12:22 AM

Thanks for the feedback, Lucky Dawg.

I don't have much to go on other than what I've read online so it's hard to differentiate between actual truth and maybe people who have a skewed perspective for one reason or another. I don't want to be an outsider 10 years after I move somewhere or have people who dislike me just because of where I'm from.

I generally don't bring up politics (especially when it's not with close friends) but when I say I'm not one to keep my mouth shut I mean that if someone brings up politics say, at the grocery store, I'm not very good at nodding and smiling. I will give my opinion instead of just pretending to agree. Where I live people love to bring up politics in conversation (which I dislike) and I wasn't sure if this was the type of thing I'd run into a lot. I prefer to keep conversations with strangers and acquaintances to more neutral/safe topics. It seems that everyone here wants to argue, be right, and yell and I'm just so sick of it.

We are going to visit before moving so helpfully that will give us more insight too.

goldenage1 · 03-22-2016, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banananana

I generally don't bring up politics (especially when it's not with close friends) but when I say I'm not one to keep my mouth shut I mean that if someone brings up politics say, at the grocery store, I'm not very good at nodding and smiling. I will give my opinion instead of just pretending to agree......We are going to visit before moving so helpfully that will give us more insight too.

I am glad you are visiting. I think you will find that Southerners from the rural areas are generally very polite, and I think you would be happy with your move. You will hear "have a blessed day" frequently. However, you really should not jumps into a conversation with a stranger and disagree with them. It is not good manners.

Also be aware that some people have concealed carry permits, and that's another reason for not provoking arguments.

Banananana · 03-22-2016, 07:06 AM

I'm hoping my conversations with strangers won't go down any political paths, I know I certainly would never bring it up.

I've found houses I've liked pretty much from around Jacksonville to Wilmington. It seems that Wilmington has more to do for a young couple but I could be wrong.

Are there any specific areas that are nice middle class towns you'd suggest or specific towns to avoid along the coast? I know here we have towns that typically have a bad reputation and towns that locals consider "good family towns" but I also live on a pretty small island so the dynamic might be different.

Oh and this may be a dumb question but when there should I refer to people as Mr. and Ms. all the time? Like, if I know a lady named Jenny would it be more respectful to call her Miss Jenny? Or last names only or what? Here you're considered polite if you're not yelling or calling someone an ******* lol so want to learn the culture as much as possible before going

goldenage1 · 03-22-2016, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banananana

It seems that Wilmington has more to do for a young couple but I could be wrong.

Are there any specific areas that are nice middle class towns you'd suggest or specific towns to avoid along the coast? I know here we have towns that typically have a bad reputation and towns that locals consider "good family towns" but I also live on a pretty small island so the dynamic might be different.

Oh and this may be a dumb question but when there should I refer to people as Mr. and Ms. all the time? Like, if I know a lady named Jenny would it be more respectful to call her Miss Jenny? Or last names only or what? Here you're considered polite if you're not yelling or calling someone an ******* lol so want to learn the culture as much as possible before going

Yes, Wilmington has more to do and is nicer than Jacksonville.

There is nowhere to "avoid" on the coast, although some people get twitchy about Burgaw and other places with a larger minority population. The coast is mostly middle or working class and very safe. Further inland, I'd suggest that it is not worth considering Kinston, Rocky Mount or Lumberton as they are relatively high crime areas. But if you are looking for 2 acres with a limited budget, you will be out in the country anyway, and it is not worth worrying about.

BTW, I would not use Ms, as most women would prefer Miss or Mrs for formal address. But it is likely pronounced Miz anyway. The use of "Miss Jenny" is a bit old-fashioned, and it's not necessary. if in doubt, ask the person what he or she prefers to be called.