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I would avoid Brunswick County because of the draw bridges. I know of friends who have missed appointments in Wilmington due to the bridge openings/accidents/heavy traffic even with allowing extra drive time. Brunswick County is the fastest growing county in NC and there is a lot of traffic heading back and forth over those draw bridges.
Pretty much EVERY locality outside Wilmington, not counting the beach resorts, is a "small town". Pull up the area on Google maps and note the sizes just looking at the road grids. But if you're in college, won't you want to be near the "action" of college? Wilmington is not exactly New York City or even Raleigh, by a long shot. Traffic is bad, much more so during beach season, but that's because of the road setup more than because millions of people live there. I think, you would face MORE traffic and aggravation commuting in and out of town every single day than just living in a dorm or college apartment nearby where you could walk to campus.
Otherwise, come for a visit and rive around and see what meets your criteria.
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