Enough is enough! Stuck on the career choice merry go round... want to get off! (LONG, sorry!) (skills, doctors)

[fierce_flawless]

Arrrgh. Surely I'm not the only over 30 person with this problem...

Here's the issue:

I am 37 years old and I dropped out of high school at age 17, got my GED, and when I was 18 started community college classes. Did 2 semesters, got pregnant, quit school. Back then I wanted to "major in foreign language"... that was my vague plan.

I've returned off and on but more seriously last March, and I'm working on my gen. ed. stuff that applies to pretty much any degree I've considered.

If you are familiar with the Meyers-Briggs personality testing, I'm an INFP. It think it matters some in the whole career choice thing.



"As young adults, (hah, not YOUNG anymore!) INFPs may have some difficulty finding the ideal career and the ideal mate, in
part because of that very word 'ideal'. They have a vision in mind of what they want, yet reality may not follow suit. They may make several starts and
stops in their career until they find a comfortable place for themselves.

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world and are seen as reticent and even shy. Although they demonstrate a cool reserve toward others, inside
they are anything but distant. They have a capacity for caring which is not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a
few special persons or a cause. One word that captures this type is idealistic. At times, this characteristic leaves them feeling isolated, especially since
INFPs are found in only 2 percent of the general population."


I've taken a billion-and-one informal career aptitude type tests and always I get a list that includes things like writer, editor, teacher (English especially), social worker, journalist, musician, playwright, poet, etc. I have heard all my life that I have such potential, so smart, could be a scholar, could be this or that... and I do believe it, I really do. I know I'm a big pile of wasted potential at this stage in my life... but it's the WHAT that has me spinning. It's not so much a lack of confidence but a lack of focus and ability to just decide on something.

Jobs I've actually held have been primarily data entry, clerical, mail clerk, file clerk, typist. I ran my own ebay business for years selling anything I could but having a focus on vintage clothing. I've worked at a car wash, I've worked delivering stuff, I've worked at a school as a pre-k sub and I ran an afterschool program. Out of all the jobs I've had, I pretty much enjoyed anything where I wasn't stuck in one spot all day and where I didn't have anyone watching me constantly. I like to work alone and have variety.

I'm bad at math, have always been more language oriented, creative. I was the kid who was reading at 3.5 years old and reading on a junior in college level by the time I was in 7th grade, but failed pre-algebra twice and failed pre-college algebra as well!

Ironically, and to my bewilderment and horror, I've failed Freshman Comp II twice now. I got an A in FC I though, excelled in HS English, and I've worked as an informal "editor" for pay at various times in my life. I guess I don't like and am not good at analyzing literature?!?

I'm the one everyone calls on to proofread their papers, newsletters, handbooks, etc. Friends and family call me the Grammar / Spelling Nazi.

For "fun" I like middle eastern dance, history, reading, (crime novels, mysteries, historical fiction, thrillers), gardening, hiking (when it's not hot), thrift store shopping, vintage fashion, interior design, listening to music (all kinds!), learning about "stuff"... whatever suits my fancy at the time. Sometimes it's Historical architecture, learning about other cultures, xeriscaping, muscle cars, medieval torture, you name it. I LOVED my Sociology class at school. I get passionate and worked up about issues affecting the underdogs in society... I am weird in that people, in general, annoy the hell out of me but I have a lot of compassion when it comes to social justice issues overall.

I just cannot seem to find anything that really fits. I have researched a ton of potential careers and I go around and around with the possibilities. None sound ideal (there I go with that idealism again)... but I want to just pick something that is "good enough".

Bear with me a bit... (I tend to ramble, sorry... it's the ADD!)... here are some careers I've considered at one time or another:


Dental Hygienist: Wanting freedom with my time and flexibility, I considered Dental Hygiene. It pays well and one can work part time and still make a good living. Is it "me"? Not really. I could handle it though. I am not easily grossed out and while I'm certainly not passionate about the whole thing I do understand the importance of dental hygiene as it relates to overall health, so I think I could be enthusiastic about sharing that info with people. :::shrug:::

Sonography tech / ultrasound tech: being part of the whole pregnancy experience, being there the first time parents-to-be "see" their babies. Wow. Awesome. It was the only medical field career I actually thought would be awesome. School here is not accredited properly though and I "hear" the market is saturated.

Lawyer: I wanted to be the type of lawyer that worked to help those that no one else would help. Civil rights, gay and lesbian rights, legal aid clients (domestic violence victims and so forth), your typical bleeding heart liberal issues. I nixed the idea when I realized I'm way too shy and freaked out by the idea of presenting a case in court.

Court reporter: pays well. Years of data entry seemed to make it logical for me... I'm already a super-fast typist. Seems boring though, or at least after a while. I considered the offshoot of this training, doing the closed captioning stuff, but never really followed through as I've heard/read about court reporting school being grueling and taking forever to get through. It seems the same would apply to the captioning thing.

Animal cop: I watch Animal Cops and thought I'd like to be one. We don't have "Animal Cops" here though and I am less interested in law enforcement really, more about the animals that need help.

Park ranger: well, I keep thinking if I move to where it's cooler, I'd love this... but I'm not so sure I have "cop" in me really, despite how much I love crime shows and crime novels and all that stuff.

Forensics / crime scene investigator: see above. I don't think it's "me", even though it's incredibly interesting to me.

Braille transcriber: work from home, work with language and words and such, work alone, help someone and provide a valuable service (though without having to actually deal with people all day) ...all awesome to me..... but from my research so far the pay is crap. I don't want to be rich but I want to be able to consistently count on around 40k a year and be somewhat "in demand".

Teacher: now and then I get into a fit about bad teachers I hear or read about and think that maybe I should do it, to be one of the good teachers. especially with little kids who are so new to school and can have their entire attitudes negatively affected by a meanie. My teacher friends encourage this too. My kids think I'd be a great teacher. I'd love to have a similar schedule as my kids. I just can't seem to commit to it.

Librarian: ahhhhhh, books, my first love. And information. And quiet. Wow. Pay is decent too. Still on my "list".

Web content editor: still on my list as well. not sure how well I'd do in techie classes but if I could handle that and combine it with traditional editor skills and education, maybe I could find work that would allow me to work alone, perhaps from home, and fulfill my need to "fix" other people's writing mistakes and design catastrophes...? I am forever critiquing this or that website, and I have some basic HTML skills. Perhaps I could learn the rest as well? Don't know.

Historian / archivist: got that idea here on CD, intrigued by it. Not sure though.

Social worker: I'd like to work with pregnant teens maybe, or in some sort of parent education, or helping people who have issues with illiteracy, poverty, etc.

Lactation consultant: lost my passion for that once my kids got older. I was all for the idea when they were young and the youngest was nursing and so on but the path to that often involves being an RN first and yuk. No nursing for me, just not likely.

I really want to do something that benefits others... vs. making someone rich.

Okay, I'll quit now... but this should illustrate how my ideas are pretty much all over the place. I discard an option for a while then it comes back to me and seems great and then I discard it again after doing more research. I just wish I had some internal feeling that this or that is what I am "meant to do" and I don't. I am tired of waiting for the light bulb to go off.

I will keep plugging away at the classes I'll need regardless of what path I take, but eventually I'm going to have to pick SOMETHING. I just don't want to end up like my best friend.... she did the same thing, going to school for YEARS off and on. She ended up being eligible for probably 5 different Associate Degrees before settling on Psychology. Now she has a BA in Psychology but it's not translating into a job for her at all and she has student loans like you wouldn't believe, due to her indecision.

Besides, I'm not getting any younger. The longer it takes me to make up my mind and get into the workforce, the harder I'll have to work to plan for retirement... if I'm starting out at 40 instead of what everyone else starts out at, right?

If you made it through to the end of this, you must be bored! I know its' long, sorry, but it is my life really, so it is hard to keep it short. Do you advise just "picking one"? I guess my issue is the fear of being trapped by that choice. If I were 20, I think I'd feel differently.

[ron del]

The library science looks like a good fit. You probably have to work with computers. Check on the number of available positions in your area prior to committing to something. You have fifty college credits or so prior to having to declare a major for matriculation. I didn't see nursing on there. There seems to be a big demand for nurses.

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by ron del

The library science looks like a good fit. You probably have to work with computers. Check on the number of available positions in your area prior to committing to something. You have fifty college credits or so prior to having to declare a major for matriculation. I didn't see nursing on there. There seems to be a big demand for nurses.

Thanks.

I like computers, so no problem there. I can't see myself programming or anything but I've been using a PC since 1992 or thereabouts...

Nursing; I cannot think of a single thing about it I'd like, except for perhaps the pay and the ability to wear scrubs.

I thought that MAYBE I could deal with being a psychiatric nurse (because my compassion kicks in when dealing with the mentally ill), or a nurse dealing with women's health stuff (OB maybe)... or a school nurse...but I cringe at the thought of a hospital job, working with doctors, working with other nurses, working with grumpy people... just ugh! It's not the blood/poo issue, it's the constant dealing with someone else's personality.

I hate to generalize here but I have met a LOT of docs that were jerks and a lot of cranky nurses. I can't see surrounding myself with that all day on purpose. I know, before someone says it... they are stressful jobs and not all nurses/docs are cranky or have a god complex. I just know what I've personally experienced.

So yeah, I think nursing is the one thing that is absolutely out. I m a wee bit misanthropic, I'll admit it.

[southdown]

How about Public Relations? You seem to be outgoing and engaging, and a good writer.

In PR you can fwork in any number of fields, and as a PR freelancer you can even pick and choose - perhaps working for non-profits, charities or wildlife groups - rather than working on the purely-advertising side.

Some business (not excactly math!) and marketing skills combined with PR can be hugely advantagous to small businesses who need to buy in skills on an ad hoc basis.

On the law side - probation workers and advocacy assistants work with the courts but not directly in front of them...

[Huckleberry3911948]

sounds like you got some skills but lack of focus. a jr college malady. good place to have it low cost mistakes.
when we achieve identity success is instantaneous. stop trying to find a career.
its not your identity never was. you are looking for a job that pays well without getting a lot
of debt. your job will not make you happy. money will not make you happy but will make 80% of your problems go away. focus.
my favorite is RN, do not get a 4 year or graduate degree in nursing, dont do it. do it later when you got 50k you dont know what to do with.
Jr college or military 100% training to rank of RN, no debt, low cost no student loans. pays good helps a lota people
huge flexability in admin field of nursing non physical nursing related 100% office work .

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by southdown

How about Public Relations? You seem to be outgoing and engaging, and a good writer.

In PR you can fwork in any number of fields, and as a PR freelancer you can even pick and choose - perhaps working for non-profits, charities or wildlife groups - rather than working on the purely-advertising side.

Some business (not excactly math!) and marketing skills combined with PR can be hugely advantagous to small businesses who need to buy in skills on an ad hoc basis.

On the law side - probation workers and advocacy assistants work with the courts but not directly in front of them...

Thanks for the input.

I am really on the fence as far as introverted / extroverted. I am chatterbox but I like to deal one on one with people. I cannot stand addressing groups.... makes me want to throw up! One on one though, I'm golden. Would PR fit with that?

Advocacy assistants.... law degree or something else?

[SomeThings]

From reading your post, it seems the ones you are most interested in are Teacher, Librarian, and Sonography Tech--just about everything else seems to have something negative written about it...

Information science is a good field that I definitely see some demand for.

Teaching sounds like it would be rewarding for you--early childhood educators can start out once they reach a certain number of credit hours (though it pays less than the traditional K-12 positions). Private/charter schools also have fewer barriers to starting teaching.

Also--many community organizations/non-profits need people to run programs. You have some experience with this already. Pay is not always the best, but it is fun and rewarding work that requires a broad skill set.

Two additional suggestions:

School Counselor--have you looked into this at all?

Paralegal--a friend of mine does this. Makes good money, and can work from home. Very research oriented.

Regarding "failing Freshman Comp II" -- if I had to guess, I'd say you're probably beyond (as in above) the level of that class, which is why you're struggling with it. Curious--are there multiple-choice tests you have to pass?

Hopefully, your degree will help put you in the position to land the job you want in a field you find interesting, but it is not a life sentence. I'm about your age--my undergrad degree was in the Sciences, which lead me to a career in Pharmaceutical Sales (hated it--ends up I'm not motivated by money); did office administration for a while, which lead me into the Communications field, which lead me to grad school, which lead me to research (social science research), which lead me to education, which lead me to a doctoral program and a research position at a school district.

Having a degree--at whatever level--does open doors.

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by SomeThings

From reading your post, it seems the ones you are most interested in are Teacher, Librarian, and Sonography Tech--just about everything else seems to have something negative written about it...

Information science is a good field that I definitely see some demand for.

Teaching sounds like it would be rewarding for you--early childhood educators can start out once they reach a certain number of credit hours (though it pays less than the traditional K-12 positions). Private/charter schools also have fewer barriers to starting teaching.

Also--many community organizations/non-profits need people to run programs. You have some experience with this already. Pay is not always the best, but it is fun and rewarding work that requires a broad skill set.

Two additional suggestions:

School Counselor--have you looked into this at all?

Paralegal--a friend of mine does this. Makes good money, and can work from home. Very research oriented.

Regarding "failing Freshman Comp II" -- if I had to guess, I'd say you're probably beyond (as in above) the level of that class, which is why you're struggling with it. Curious--are there multiple-choice tests you have to pass?

Hopefully, your degree will help put you in the position to land the job you want in a field you find interesting, but it is not a life sentence. I'm about your age--my undergrad degree was in the Sciences, which lead me to a career in Pharmaceutical Sales (hated it--ends up I'm not motivated by money); did office administration for a while, which lead me into the Communications field, which lead me to grad school, which lead me to research (social science research), which lead me to education, which lead me to a doctoral program and a research position at a school district.

Having a degree--at whatever level--does open doors.

Thanks. Where I've made negative comments, I'm just trying to see both sides and be realistic. I don't want to view any option with rose colored glasses.

Paralegal: I should research more thoroughly. I know a couple paralegals and they tend to do a lot of stuff that is really clerical and they don't like it, but maybe there are more options in that field that I am overlooking.

School counselor: It's a dumb question, but is the counseling primarily of the academic sort or is there an opportunity in school counseling to offer "traditional" counseling, i.e. helping a child deal with various problems...?
(obviously I have not looked into it! )

Freshman Comp II failure: the first time I blamed it on being pregnant. I missed more than I should, and busted my butt on my final term paper but my instructor gave it a D. I still believe it was a harsh grade and it was a B paper, or at least a C, but she didn't agree. We kind of butted heads the entire semester, me and that woman.

Second try was 16 years later. I took a flex-semester course, so it was half the time of the usual course, plus it was online. Very intense. It was an unbelievable amount of work (writing assignments) and I was working full time too and I got horribly behind, then I just froze up and did nothing. Bad, yeah, I know. I'll pay dearly for that in many ways (including literally... when I take it again I have to pay triple the normal tuition due to failing it twice).

I really seemed to have a lot of trouble with MLA formatting..... but perhaps if I study that independently before attempting that class yet again, I can get through it. I don't think it's that hard, it's just that there was an assumption that we already understood the entire MLA thing before taking the class, and I had never heard of it before, honestly. Or if I had, I'd forgotten entirely! So, I was trying to learn all the rules about that by reading the MLA handbook, while still churning out all the writing assignments she wanted from us (with MLA formatting, of course) and it just overwhelmed me. I seemed to do well with writing assignments that were free topics but when we had to write all these papers responding to this or that selection in the textbook, analyzing it and so forth, it shocked me because it was really difficult for some reason.

I took Sociology at the same time and had zero difficulty. Easier instructor though, didn't require much at all really.

[houstoner]

I think library science sounds like the best fit for you. It's a job with lots of variety, especially if you work in public libraries, so you'll never be bored, plus you're helping people and learning new things every day. There are numerous directions you can take with it; there are different types of librarians and information professionals. Explore the options. Get a part-time job as a library assistant or page and see if you like working in libraries. If you can't find a job, volunteer for awhile, if you can afford it. It's a career path many people stumble into later in life, so you shouldn't feel out of sorts. Librarians and paraprofessionals come from an array of backgrounds! Oh, yes, that's the other thing. You don't have to become a librarian. You can find paraprofessional work that pays decently.

[hypocore]

Have you thought about something in a museum, such as a docent? I'm thinking of our local science and history museum which has a children's area, omni theater, and gift shop in addition to all the exhibits, for example. Besides the every day visitors, they have field trips they handle, classes they teach and presentations they make.

That kinda wraps teacher, historian, park ranger/animal cop, into one varied location with lots of options.


I'd also suggest starting as a volunteer at times that work for you, to get a taste of those kinds of jobs before you plunge into classes for it.