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The people in my neighborhood stress me tf out and sincerely hate them
I live in a relatively seemingly nice community or that’s what the property owners, landlords, property management companies want you think. There are 4 neighborhood parks in my hood within less than 1/2 mile. One of those parks is a green space which is used as an unofficial dog park by many people. However, it is not regulated or sanctioned as a dog park due to the city I live in doing a study on the negative effects it would have; it’s technically a wetland and has an underground spring that connects to a major river which would apparently would pollute the drinking water.
About 3 1/2 years ago I began to rent a house behind this green space after moving 1/2 mile due to issues with my home prior being flash flood prone. The stress of living in this bigger home out of a flood zone due to the proximity to this green space is insane!
On a pretty normal basis I have issues with dog owners allowing their dog to be off-leash and often multiple dogs to be off-leash at once whom they have little to no control over or recall. These dogs are allowed to wander into 5-6 deep privacy barrier full of trees, vines, bushes, thorny vines, thorny bushes, ivy, etc that separates my fully fenced in yard from the park.
Not only do I have my own dogs, but I also have young children and the only barrier between them and these strange dogs is a 4ft chain length fence when they are outside.
I have had to break up so many dog fights in which my dogs are properly contained in their fence, but there’s 1 or more off leash dogs going at it with my dog at my fence while the owner just stands by and calls them to come from a distance and usually does nothing else.
Recently, my children were outside playing in their yard while our larger dog laid down and supervised them with our screen dog left open so I could listen for any issue and complete my work.
So apparently after some time, a guy and his wife with their dog show up in a this green space that spans multiple blocks (5 long blocks of home exists behind this green space). Of all places, they decided to hang out directly behind my yard where my kids are casually playing and let their dogs off leash.
They then, allowed their strange dog to approach my fence where you could see and hear my children playing. So apparently, my dog got in front of it at the fence to intercept the dog and protect them/her territory, and they went at it. As I am coming outside to address the barking, I see my kids dragging our 65 lb dog by the collar away from the fence while guy and his wife do nothing.
I ask my kids what happen as I command my dog to go to the back porch and wait. The guy interjects and says “your dog barked first” I guess to justify his dog’s participation or insinuate that it was my dog that instigated/the problem despite being physically restrained from being able to reach his dog under proper circumstances.
I tried to be as calm as I could possibly be and insist that my dog is properly contained while his is not, he needs to leash it, and that it was irresponsible that they allowed my children to break up a dog by instead of getting control in the situation and physically removing their own dog.
Dude was not about to hear it or take responsibility. I’m not backing down. So, he starts yelling-telling me to shut the F up, go to F inside, and calling me psycho repeatedly.
I’m not gonna tolerate that, so I yell back at him. I tell him to shut up, leash his dog, and leave. He refuses. At which point, I threaten to call animal control. He dared me to do it. So, I pulled up animal control in my contacts put it on speakerphone and loudly insisted that I need an animal control officer immediately for an off-leash and out-of control dog.
Of course once that happens the guy leashes his dog and begins to takeoff. He doesn’t stick around back up all his big talk as a large man against a petite woman and her young children. I believe he knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on if an officer showed up, because there wouldn’t have been an incident had he had just followed the law and had his dog on leash as my dog was behind a fence and has no clue that she could jump it and has no desire to leave her home/yard/fence.
Today I found my “beware of dog” sign torn off my fence and tossed in my yard where the aggressive incident took place. I have been landscaping my yard for the last two days and it was not there the day before. So, I’m assuming it was intentional especially since it was secured with zip ties that were still there.
While, this is the most aggressive and hostile incident I’ve had, it’s not the first. I routinely go back-and-forth with anywhere from 5 to 10 different dog owners on a weekly or more basis about leashing their dogs and collecting them from my fence. I’m not asking them, because I am a stickler for rules. I ask and expect them to do so, so my children can play outside or my majority inside dogs can go potty in their own yard. Most people are extremely entitled about the dog being off-leash in a ON-leash only area, extremely defiant, and rude.
I have yet to encounter someone that understands they’re interfering with my ability to use my yard, and are considerate enough to take their pet to another area in the expansive open space, and acknowledges that I, my dogs, and kids deserve the use of our yard without their dogs being all up on our fence. I am sincerely concerned that one day my children are going to get bit as not one owner finds their actions inappropriate, concerning, or cares about the risk involved to anyone’s physical safety including their own dogs.
At the flood prone house I lived in, a couple of blocks away, there was a man who collected litter with one of those metal sticks weekly. He would come to my back fence every week on Wednesday and jump over the huge drainage ditch from the road to get right up on my fence. If my dog happened to be out using the restroom at the same time he was out, he would stick that metal pole through the fence at her, beat on our fence, and threaten to hit her, all because she would bark at him. We caught him dead in the middle of the act more than once. The last time I threaten to take that stick and beat the hell out of him.
I’ve also caught mothers and their children walking together and allowing their children to verbally tease my dog and using motions like they were going to hit my dog. I startled the sh*t out of a few of these people, because I was on the side of my house and came out and got onto to the kids for teasing her and the mothers just letting it happen.
I’ve been stalked and verbally harassed in obscene and sexual way by multiple men that live in this neighborhood (I see their often distinctive cars or decals parked in driveways, picking up kids from local schools, and in our local parks) while they drive in their cars as I either walk my elementary kids to school/home or while trying to provide my dog proper exercise. I actually saw one man that harassed me a bunch, pulled over one day on the freeway nearby in his very distinctive bright orange classic Ford truck from the 60-70 era. I do hope he got the biggest fine possible for whatever violation he was pull for.
I had a male neighbor leer over his 6ft wood fence and a big creek bed that separated his street from mine any time I was in my front yard gardening, checking the mail, or coming and going out my front door. He would whistle at me like a dog. There were times when I would ignore it and pretend not to hear and he would just get louder with his whistling. When I tried to just be polite and respond to just to get the interaction over with, he would insist that we whisper, because he didn’t want my partner to know I was speaking with him even though there was no reason for me to keep that a secret and I found it gross that he thought it was appropriate to.
I am by no means against friendly neighbors that bump into each other outside while going about daily life and briefly chat nor am I against my neighbors having a casual friendship in which we can knock on each other’s doors for help or concerns, but this was in no way near that for either of the two predatory and inappropriate men I used to live next to.
The other neighbor I had, tried to sexually traffic me and pretend he was a model scout (I had previously been a model signed by a small agency at 19 and I knew a lot of his claims when he was talking to me did not add up). Anytime I took out the trash, went outside with my dogs to escort them to use the restroom, or clean up the landscaping, he would come to our shared fence quietly and startle me no matter the time of day or night.
That is not an exaggeration by any means. His back door was on the opposite side of his house. He was not smoking. He was not engaging in outdoor activities. He was not gardening or caring for his yard. He was not lounging outside for pure enjoyment and relaxation. He seemed to be watching me as he he had the blinds pulled up on a window facing my side yard where my back door was and would come outside only after I had been outside for a period of time engaging in necessary tasks or seeking alone time in which he would directly approach me for no good or real reason other than to initiate a conversation and pressure me into “modeling” (which the more he tried to coerce me by feeding me information about it it was of an extremely sexual nature and I would be forbidden from having any other people I trusted around me
Continue:
I had to put tarps around my back porch stringing multiple zip ties together so that I could have some privacy and he would not know that I was outside. Sometimes (once the tarps were up), I would hear him just breathing and walking around by my fence where my back door was when I sat outside on the porch to just have a moment alone. I legally could not do anything since he hadn’t violated a law, he was on his property, he had not threatened me, or caused me harm (yet).
When we made the decision to move, (we went through a flash flood in which water entered and destroyed our home and then almost had the exact experience more than once; we were not willingly to risk our safety and stability anymore), this same neighbor that would accost me anytime I was outside and pretended to be a modeling scout, tried to make my partner and I feel guilty by legit walking up to us in the middle of the night and accusing us of wanting to move, because him, a black man, moved in to the house next to us.
This same neighbor then tried to sexually assault me shortly thereafter that incident (he tried to penetrate me with his genitalia out and technically that alone is SA) when I was alone and vulnerable while moving my belongings. Lucky for me, he was interrupted from completing his action, because in those few moment after he exposed himself, I was contemplating if I should fight hard enough to get away and hopefully stay alive trying or silently lay there until it’s over to stay alive for my kids.
The kids at my children’s previous school would tell my children that they had no food, they were hungry, and guilt my children give them their lunch is packed from home. So, often times my kids were not receiving the nutrition that I provided for them because other kids were scamming them.
My children were physically assaulted by their former classmates in first grade and kindergarten-punches to the stomach while standing in line for example. One of my children was extremely bullied and ostracized from participating in any social/play activities at lunchtime. He would sit alone at recess and cry. Cry when he came home, because he didn’t understand why he was being excluded and prevented from playing with other children by a bully that was ruining his stuff. Couldn’t really tell him at that age that he’s the only mixed White and Asian kid in his entire school and neighborhood-that he’s an outsider, people dislike him for both his races, are suspicious of him for his whiteness and Asianness, and many people view him as weak, feminine, and a target to gain power over and dominate for existing as such in their world, because that’s just bull**** that that was the reason he was being teated poorly and it was unacceptable for him to experience that kind of behavior from other people.
At this former school for several weeks in a row my child would bring pencils to school from home that helped him grip and write better than what was available. One child by the name of, Messiah (yeah you read that right, no I did not change the name) would ask my than kindergartener if he could see his pencils and he would take it and snap it in half every time.
So, at drop off time in the morning, I kindly ask that child to leave my son alone. I explained that he doesn’t have to like my kid or play with him, but just let him be in peace and stop breaking his belongings. Later on, I got a call from the principal chastising me for verbally disciplining a child about a school issue (that was not being taken care of), largely because his mommy was mad instead of embarrassed or apologetic that her child was being a bully, causing another child emotional distress, and costing someone else school supplies.
I had the whole neighborhood freak out on me basically when I politely asked if members of a local church would try to focus on not providing religious material, but instead more secular theme stuff (Santa, snowmen, reindeer, etc) inside of gifts that they dispense to my children’s former public school for Christmas and just let it be known that I was there friendly atheist neighbor (big mistake) asking on behalf of everyone as a courtesy including some Jehovah’s Witness kids that attended their school in which it’s not appropriate to expose the children to religious literature that are not in line with parental beliefs.
My right as a parent and religious freedom was completely obliterated in my neighborhood’s group. I have never read nastier comments about me (someone they had never met or knew anything about personally) directed at me and my choice to parent for the greater good of my children’s mental health and well-being than what I read in those comments.
It was basically at that point I decided that this was a neighborhood full of a large amount of self-righteous and ignorant bigoted bullies that can’t allow anyone to be different than them-even though it doesn’t hurt them at all, infringe upon their rights, or affect their life in the least. It’s simply that the mindset is that being different is such a threat to their way of life, personal beliefs, and group mentality.
I have read other peoples negative experiences of having neighbors’ dogs bite them while on a walk and then be given a fake name, fake telephone number, and fake address. Then the person who is at risk of potential rabies and whatever other concerns has to bear full medical and financial responsibility for some thing they were not at fault for.
I have read other peoples account of having their homes broken into when they’re there or gone and also being robbed at gunpoint. In these instances, my neighborhood’s group uses socio-economic status, poverty, and other hot button issues as an excuse of why it’s justifiable, why people shouldn’t be charged with a crime, and that the victims of these thefts and violent crimes with a deadly weapon should not defend themselves with deadly force if necessary.
I’ve actually been held at gunpoint in my car while in my driveway and had a masked man threaten to kill me and my partner for an iPhone and whatever other goods we had on us.
Mind you though, the same neighbors around us will go around and say this is such a nice, decent, friendly neighborhood and we have no real crime to worry about to people looking to buy, rent, or have just moved in. If someone admits that crime is an issue, often it’s minimized as just petty property theft and the residents reassure others inquiring it will be ok.
Worst still are the people that live here and choose to gaslight and mock their neighbors that personally experience a crime whether petty theft or more serious. Victims of crime that experience PTSD, trauma, fear, and real financial losses- some that could absolutely financially cripple a person and impede them from being able to make a living or pay their bills, are told that their suffering doesn’t matter as much as that the criminal’s physical safety and the potential emotional, physical, mental, and other more hot button trauma the criminal might have suffered to make them commit any one specific crime.
They refuse to be honest in most cases that you do need a security system, cameras, other deterrents like a loud dog, beefed up security/hardware on your door & window frames, some kind of personal self defense devices, and that it would be a good idea to carry mace or self-defense devices on your person if you plan to walk the neighborhood, walk the dog, or even entering and exiting your home to your car.
If people were more honest, their homes might see a property value decrease and they might not be able to move homes for sale like hotcakes for $188,000 plus ( I think one of the more expensive homes listed/sold for somewhere in between $250,000 to $300,000) in 24 to 72 hours.
The people that are relatively honest and share their experiences and offer suggestions are gaslit and shut down by people who use stats that don’t necessarily reflect all the under reported and unreported issues and also don’t go into much details - a lot of people refuse to report crime of a variety of kinds because they don’t want to cause someone to have a record or contribute to societal and systemic issues.
They are not honest about the random drive-bys that while few, have happened where homes have been riddled with bullets at random just because or the others due to gang violence/retaliation.
They aren’t honestly about the often nightly to weekly gunshots that are normalized and the stray bullets as a result that people find in their windows, their drywall inside their homes, in their roof, or lodged in their home siding.
They’re not honest about the problematic known trap houses and gang activity in which known criminal and/or violent offenders hang out, heavy in-and-out traffic is constant, and people are scared to deal with them about the most basic issues, because in some instances there’s been threats of violence and guns brandished.
They’re not honest about the children that live in these trap houses and other poor living conditions that run wild, have no real parent, terrorize neighbors, are indoctrinated into a criminal lifestyle at a young age ( to my knowledge as young as 6), and are used to commit petty and serious crimes, because they are minors used as shields that won’t suffer serious legal consequences upon being caught.
They’re not honest about the teenage, young adult , middle aged, or even elderly career criminal neighbors. The ones that go door to door at all hours looking for an opportunity and someone naïve enough to buy into made up sob or heart-warming stories to con people out of their money, scope out their home for valuables and entry points, scam them out money for a hire-on-the-spot job that doesn’t get completed, or just straight force their way into an unassuming person’s home to rob them.
They’re certainly not honest about the true victims- people with severe mental disorders that cannot receive much mental health help and necessary medication (some that need to be institutionalized or in an assisted living facility) that the state government allows to be homeless that live and roam through downtown and it’s neighborhoods.
They certainly don’t disclose that there is a high amount of sexual predators living in the area to people who are interested in living here or have questions about the safety of the area-there’s only one lady out of 2000 to 3000 people in the neighborhood that tells people about the rate of sexual predators here.
I have seen used condoms, shattered liquor bottles, and beer bottles discarded in front of both of the elementary schools in my neighborhood on the sidewalk were there is a heavy pedestrian and cyclist traffic consisting of the student body.
People park their vehicles on the few sidewalks within the area despite knowing there is a heavy pedestrian population and some of those people are elderly and or disabled and need a safe place to walk. Then when people are confronted about parking on sidewalks and asked to move their vehicle for the safety of people in the neighborhood (especially vulnerable people) they are defiant and angry about it.
There may be a few redeemable souls in this neighborhood, but I kid you not when I say the majority are awful people that verbally bully while ganging up on other people when they have a difference of opinion and beliefs.
I have yet to encounter one person in this neighborhood out of several conflicts in which they were in the wrong, that has ever apologized and took accountability for their behavior whether minor to major.
What’s crazy is that I keep being told by everybody in the world that the South is so nice and people in the South are kind, friendly, gracious, respectable, well mannered, courteous, nice, etc and there must be something wrong with me or I must have done something impolite to trigger them.
I have been in the South for over 20 years, this is a fairytale and a false narrative. The South is only nice to people whom fit into a specific profile or whom will assimilate to be accept in order to not repeatedly bullied, mocked, ostracized, and treated with hostile aggression.
If you do not fit into the social norms and do not assimilate there is a lot of extreme contempt for people Southerners deem “outsiders”. There is no melting pot and no tolerance for people that are different-no matter what the most liberal Southerner says or what the most stereotypical Southern conservative will tell you about hospitality or the people of the South being much better than everyone else in the US.
There’s a lot of cultural regional superiority that leads to a lot of tall-tales about the South, Southern men & women, Southern hospitality, and how “nice” (not kind) they are. They also love to self-victimize their region and culture too if you call people out and they detect that you’re not a born and raised Southerner.
Me airing my neighbor’s bad behavior so openly without assuming the best of them/their intentions/their actions, being direct, being assertive as a woman, not behaving passively when someone has violated a social boundary or intruded onto my space/privacy/home, and refusing to speak to, interact with, and out right ignoring a person whether it’s for legitimate safety concerns or just wanting space/alone time, isn’t consider polite proper Southern behavior- especially for a woman.
Even though Southern Belles are self-reported to be “fiery”, for a woman to be assertive, firm, or even aggressive when faced with major opposition especially from a man, they are expected to back down and submit. Extreme gender role expectations are throughly self-policed and self-enforced socially among Southerners. If you do not behave in the way expected for your gender’s role within their cultural restraints, you are met with social opposition, aggression, shame, and ostracization. No one will be on your side even if you’re correct in your response.
Women in the South are expected to phrase everything as a polite request littered with um, please, if you could, thank you kindly, and all kinds of excessively sugar-coated expressions. Firm assertive language like a man would is not accepted (this is also been studied psychologically as well- people do not like women when they talk assuredly like a man and do not phrase their statements as requests).
I tell you what, I’ve really not met a single person that is legitimately kind when it does not benefit them to look like it for the sake of their reputation. Anything “nice” has to be self publicized so people know what “good” deed they did or what a good girl they are. So many people that I encounter here if they’re not outwardly aggressive, they are passive aggressive-that nasty “nice”.
My neighbors are so thin skinned regardless of their religious beliefs or associated political party\political identity. The most minor things that don’t affect them at all are offensive including basic request no matter if you use your manners or not. The amount of times my life has been threatened and threatened with a firearm for existing, going the speed limit in the right lane, or turning a Southern man down is scary. They lose their tempers at the drop of a hat and they are willing to be extremely verbally abuse and commit physical assault for the most minor things that anyone else could brush off (it’s actually been heavily studied too-it’s called honor culture).
When I say I hate this neighborhood and it has been extremely traumatizing to live here, I mean that with every atom in my body. It takes every ounce of restraint I have sometimes just to not start screaming like a wild banshee anytime I have to deal with a person that lives here and a conflict that I absolutely have to deal with. Reasoning and pleading with people does not really work. I would not be sad if this neighborhood was swallowed by a sinkhole the day after I moved out of it.
Don’t move here if you value peaceful and private enjoyment of your home and yard and you wanna keep your sanity.
And also Shandon is nicer and there’s a reason for that. People in Shandon care about how others perceive them, their actions, behavior, and their reputations. Many people in Rosewood do not. Many people in Rosewood also don’t hold high positions within companies, industries, political office, hospitals, and the school (primary and secondary). So people within Rosewood often conduct themselves poor because they really don’t have much to protect in terms of the people that live in Shandon and other high esteem neighborhoods. There’s a reason why Rosewood often has a lot of contempt for Shandon and some of it to do with that and the other bit is that Shandon receives a lot more funding and attention than Rosewood.
Also what people within the Rosewood neighborhood won’t tell you, is that the homes where they live with their children are zoned for S. Kilbourne elementary school whom has a majority (last time I checked 98%) Black minority student body.
Yet these neighbors request a special student/school transfer for their children to go to one of the other schools with a majority white student body. Then these same Rosewood neighbors get on their high horses on social media talking about a lot of issues regarding BIPOC and racism, especially in Shandon or about other white neighbors that are pro firearm and pro self-defense against the local criminals (whom are typically repeat offenders whom often times are found out later to be in fact black).
These neighbors then accuse their white neighbors of being racist, because they’re tried of having to face repeat victimization of a crime and want to defend the home & safer of their family. However, they’re actually engaging in racist behavior themselves; which could be considered a type of white flight by opting to go through the extensive, limited, and difficult process of placing their children in a different school that is much further away with a higher white student body. So actually a lot of Rosewood neighbors that pretend to be pro Black Lives Matter, are fake, hypocrites on such a low frequency, and only voicing their stance on civil rights, personal beliefs, and politics for clout among each other and to feel morally superior.
Also, there are actually people that have lived in this neighborhood for 20 to 30 years. However, these people couldn’t identify a building that existed on South Kilbourne Road that was dilapidated. This neighborhood isn’t that big and that particular building had existed for as long as many of these people have been alive. South Kilbourne is a major road within the Rosewood area too. However, this building and much of S. Kilbourne Rd. is in Area that consist of high poverty and is primarily full of black families. You would think if you lived here for that long you would have an idea of where this big cinderblock building was. That building was very large directly on the main road and a big eyesore. Seems like to me , many white people in Rosewood intentionally avoid these areas that are highly populated with black families or don’t really engage with their black neighbors outside of superficial relationships that probably take place in largely white dominated areas or places of convenience while claiming to be something they’re not- accepting, tolerant, and not racist.
Last edited by Bellezza0211; 10-30-2021 at 01:07 PM..
Reason: Spelling mistake
It sounds like it’s time to move out of that neighborhood.
You’re absolutely correct and I am working toward doing so. The pandemic both a bit of a hindrance on my original plans of going back west to live in a ranching town.
^^^ Yes. But did the OP really need to write a book to get to that realization?
This OP knew that a long time ago. Unfortunately most people aren’t honest that moving takes a lot of funds, planning, preparation, and coordination. Especially moving with a family and pets. I am unsure of why you need to be so passive aggressive- no one made you read it. You never had to click on the thread I posted to begin with you obviously did so out of your own curiosity and freedom. you sure put a lot of energy also into needing to post about my thread so you can let your opinion be heard and ensure I see it. The world needs less people like you.
This OP knew that a long time ago. Unfortunately most people aren’t honest that moving takes a lot of funds, planning, preparation, and coordination. Especially moving with a family and pets. I am unsure of why you need to be so passive aggressive- no one made you read it. You never had to click on the thread I posted to begin with you obviously did so out of your own curiosity and freedom. you sure put a lot of energy also into needing to post about my thread so you can let your opinion be heard and ensure I see it. The world needs less people like you.
My point, which you completely missed, is that the vast majority of people on ANY forum will simply not read those gigantic posts that are like book chapters (especially from brand new posters). And you wrote 2 of them in a row, plus 2 more posts after those. There was no reason to write that much to get your point across.
I wasn't passive aggressive, I was just wondering why you needed to write a book. I guess to you that was a rude question.
I wish you luck, despite your incredibly nasty last line to me.
Last edited by karen_in_nh_2012; 10-30-2021 at 04:50 PM..
- Get into 5-10 arguments a week with people walking their dogs
- Are allegedly stalked and verbally harassed by both of your neighbors, including attempted sexual trafficking and rape
- Assumed your child was being bullied because of his race with no proof instead of the possibility that, ya know, kids bully other kids....and also confronted a 5 year old directly instead of talking with his/her parents first
- Asked church members to not provide the gifts of their choice that they donate to the school
- Were held at gunpoint and are threatened regularly with firearms for driving the speed limit and turning down men hitting on you (noticing a trend here)
- Blame all your woes on the evil and unfriendly South, because it must be muh racism and gender role issues
- Attacked another poster just for pointing out what an absurdly long fairy tale you wrote
Sounds to me like the problem isn't the neighborhood.
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