[Stylo]

Just an observation. A lot of people seem to be bent on having the very best rated schools for their kids. Willing to pay double for a house, take a terrible commute, etc. A school at the 90% percentile is not enough, let's push for 95%.

I know people that have come from all sorts of school systems. Good and very bad. You'd be surprised who is successful and who isn't.

So much starts at home and the hunger to learn and succeed. Some very successful people have come out of average or below average schools with success because of that fact.

I feel like parents are taking a lot of responsibility off themselves these days. As if sending their kids to top public schools is somehow going to magically set them up for success in the future.

I went to a one of the top rated school systems in CT. The vast majority of us went to college. I know NUMEROUS classmates that did well in high school, went to a good (and often very expensive) college and are now sitting on their butts or working medial jobs. Why? Because they are a part of a very large group of young people who felt they were entitled to success. Unwilling to start at the bottom and pick themselves up.

Imagine the next generation that comes out of this entitled, you're-my-child-and-you're-amazing-at-everything mentality? Scary.

Good schools don't mean everything. And sometimes the combination of pressure and status-fighting and coddling from parents can be a really bad thing for the bigger picture in life. I would not be uncomfortable sending my kids to an average or slightly above average rated school than one that excels at CAPT scores.

Thoughts?

[jp03]

Originally Posted by mkiv808

Just an observation. A lot of people seem to be bent on having the very best rated schools for their kids. Willing to pay double for a house, take a terrible commute, etc. A school at the 90% percentile is not enough, let's push for 95%.

I know people that have come from all sorts of school systems. Good and very bad. You'd be surprised who is successful and who isn't.

So much starts at home and the hunger to learn and succeed. Some very successful people have come out of average or below average schools with success because of that fact.

I feel like parents are taking a lot of responsibility off themselves these days. As if sending their kids to top public schools is somehow going to magically set them up for success in the future.

I went to a one of the top rated school systems in CT. The vast majority of us went to college. I know NUMEROUS classmates that did well, went to a good school and are now sitting on their butts or working medial jobs. Why? Because they are a part of a very large group of young people who felt they were entitled to success. Unwilling to start at the bottom and pick themselves up.

Imagine the next generation that comes out of this entitled, you're-my-child-and-you're-amazing-at-everything mentality? Scary.

Good schools don't mean everything. And sometimes the combination of pressure and status-fighting and coddling from parents can be a really bad thing for the bigger picture in life. I would not be uncomfortable sending my kids to an average or slightly above average rated school than one that excels at CAPT scores.

Thoughts?

I see your point and agree. However, if all things are equal wouldn't you rather have the better schools? I agree school does not make the child. I am a person who feels the extra taxes are worth it if the school system is better. Here in my temprary home of Charlotte, the schools are inferior to CT and you pay by sending your kids to private schools./

As a side note, this "everybody wins crap " in everything is gonna affect these kids terribly as they get older. Understanding you can't win at eveything is an important step in acceptance. I mean everyone gets a trophy? What does that prove? This world has gotten too SOFT.....! We hand out money to those unwilling to even try to work for it, we make everybody as equal as possible at the cost of them not understanding what it takes to succeed in a very tough world.

[Stylo]

All things equal, I'll take the town with the better schools. Would I rather be more financially secure in a town with average schools than to be deep in debt in a town with exceptional schools? Abso-freaking-lutely.

[jp03]

Originally Posted by mkiv808

All things equal, I'll take the town with the better schools. Would I rather be more financially secure in a town with average schools than to be deep in debt in a town with exceptional schools? Abso-freaking-lutely.

Well, deep in debt is not good but I'm telling you, the extra money in taxes is worth it if you have a kid in school. We would be paying for private school here and its still not on par with most CT schools from what I am told. .. careful what you wish for, we were blinded by lower housing prices and I moved to Charlotte for that reason and can't wait to get back to CT next spring.

[iamkaramia]

Don't forget that if you're buying in a town with a good school system, there will be strong demand for your house when you're ready to sell. Even if you don't have kids, that's a great reason to buy in a town with a good school system.

[JayCT]

While I agree that sending your kids to a school system in a high ranking town does not guarentee success, it does have other implications for people buying a home. The value of that home is likely to be better in a town with good schools because that makes the town that much more attractive to future buyers. It therefore will be easier to sell. Your kids are more likely to be friends with other children whose parents place a high importance on getting a good education and this likely will have a positive impact on your child. Knowing that the school system is successful also give a parent peace of mind that the teachers are held to high standard.

I don't generally agree with people who must send their kids to the best schools but understand when they say they are looking for a town with good schools. The good thing about Connecticut is that we have so many towns that offer them. Jay

[jjinla]

I'll be honest -- I'm not just paying for high scores, I'm paying for my child's peers and teachers. Lower-performing schools almost always have less motivated teachers and too many kids from less-than-stellar backgrounds. I'm not saying that I wouldn't send my kids to schools in a place like Greenwich, of course, if I was certain that the ones in Darien were better for whatever reason. Heck, where I am now in Larchmont, there are some parents that won't do the schools here, and they are excellent but certainly not as homogenous as in Scarsdale or Chappaqua.

But I would never do a large urban district again after having lived in LA. It's a night and day difference to me. Too many misbehaved kids, uninvolved or uneducated parents unable or unwilling to support their kids, inconsistent quality of staff and administrators, constant budget cuts, etc. And as others mentioned, a home in a better district almost always retains its value better over time.

I would personally feel guilty choosing a larger home in a lesser district over a smaller home in a top district, but I've got 3 kids and want to feel like I did everything that I could for them. Some of it is misplaced guilt, sure. But I'll never regret sending my kids to the best schools, you know? If you pick a lesser district and your kids end up not thriving, you have to be able to not beat yourself up about it, and I'm not sure I could do that.

[basehead617]

Exactly.. If it was just about your own kids, it's just a piece of the puzzle. But considering it directly relates to the biggest investment you are likely to make in your lifetime, it's very important indeed. I guess it's a sort of circular argument.. Even if you're not concerned with the school system being top notch, you need to know other people are.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Originally Posted by mkiv808

Just an observation. A lot of people seem to be bent on having the very best rated schools for their kids. Willing to pay double for a house, take a terrible commute, etc. A school at the 90% percentile is not enough, let's push for 95%.

I know people that have come from all sorts of school systems. Good and very bad. You'd be surprised who is successful and who isn't.

So much starts at home and the hunger to learn and succeed. Some very successful people have come out of average or below average schools with success because of that fact.

I feel like parents are taking a lot of responsibility off themselves these days. As if sending their kids to top public schools is somehow going to magically set them up for success in the future.

I went to a one of the top rated school systems in CT. The vast majority of us went to college. I know NUMEROUS classmates that did well in high school, went to a good (and often very expensive) college and are now sitting on their butts or working medial jobs. Why? Because they are a part of a very large group of young people who felt they were entitled to success. Unwilling to start at the bottom and pick themselves up.

Imagine the next generation that comes out of this entitled, you're-my-child-and-you're-amazing-at-everything mentality? Scary.

Good schools don't mean everything. And sometimes the combination of pressure and status-fighting and coddling from parents can be a really bad thing for the bigger picture in life. I would not be uncomfortable sending my kids to an average or slightly above average rated school than one that excels at CAPT scores.

Thoughts?

This is exactly why I have been brushing up on my math recently. When I have children, I would like to teach them things myself, just like my father did.

Today I was driving by Darien and I found this Dad on a bicycle with his three kids on junior bikes, all of them riding together. I stopped by the donut shop in Noroton and after minutes, they all came there, wheeling. I could tell how much the Dad was into his kids (with all the stuff they discussed) and it pretty much reminded me of my father.

I sort of told myself that this is the kind of Dad I would be one day. So, that means yes, I perfectly can relate to where you're coming from. Just buying a house up in the gold coast and sending the kids to a top notch CT school is not everything. Active involvement in their life is key. I had a wonderful father figure and I turned out good. And I'm sure the kids I saw today would grow up great.

Involvement in the kids life is key.

[7 Wishes]

I've said it elsewhere, but it fits here, I think the people of Fairfield County (and even more so neighboring Westchester County, NY) are some of the most "school district obsessed" people in the entire US. While there is legit gripes to be said about some "major urban" districts like Bridgeport (and there's a difference between most of the suburban districts and places like Stamford, Norwalk and Danbury), the truth is almost all the other districts would be the "top" district in virtually any other part of the US if there were some way to magically place them there for comparison. And even places like the last 3 districts I mentioned work if your kid is pretty "self motivated" and put into a magnet school, etc. (even in Bridgeport there's a couple of acceptable magnet options, though a lot harder to find/get into; the school I worked in on a semi-regular basis had a magnet option that was pretty self-contained from the rest of the school and the kids I worked with there were hardly "low performing"; courses like AP Calculus did exist, etc.). Great thread, I couldn't have put it better myself!