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We are continuing to plan our move to Connecticut and, not surprisingly, have come up with more questions
MIL is elderly and will likely be making the move with us. We are looking into a variety of housing options, including her living with us, her living on her own, and her living in a retirement community. Are there any retirement communities around the Guilford area or within about half hour that you would suggest that we look into? Are there any that we should stay away from?
We haven't looked at anything before and I only have limited experience/knowledge regarding the differences so I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it will help if I give some more information about MIL and some of our thoughts about living situation/amenities/services.
MIL is in her late 70s and currently lives in her own home but needs DF to do pretty much everything for her, including grocery shopping and paying bills. If we're going to go the retirement community route with MIL, she would probably want to feel like she's still living on her own so places where she would have her own apartment would be good. We really don't want her driving (trust me when I say that the good people of Connecticut really don't want her driving either yet I guarantee that somehow she will find a way to get a license...) so a place that offers some sort of transportation would be great. MIL has a bizarre view of herself and her needs. For example, she's never set foot in a gym and I truly wonder how she even manages to walk without falling over (on occasion she uses a walker), but when we have discussed the move, she asked if there's a gym in the town.
So, I guess we're looking for a type of place that is in between a nursing home and living entirely on your own. The ideal type of place would have apartments with staff, transportation, and some activities available.
I think what you're aiming for is assisted living for your MIL. The way it works is that she rents a small apartment for an all inclusive monthly fee. The fee includes all utiltiies plus usually TV cable.
It's usually set up as a studio, 1-2 bedroom with living room, bathroom and kitchenette ( depending on what you want to pay). Weekly housekeeping, linen changes are included. Three meals daily served in the dining room also included.
Most places have a shuttle bus / van service to go shopping etc. One our big local supermarkets, called Shop & Shop also offers home delivery. Virtually all also have recreational directors and a variety of things to do on site. Nurses are on hand to help with medication, etc.
Here are some either in Guilford or in adjacent towns
Boston Terrace Elderly Housing- Guilford
The Gables at Guilford
Marcotta Manor - Guilford
Brightview Senior Living - North Branford
The Hearth at Tuxis Pond- Madison
Cedar Woods- Branford
The Hearth at Gardenside- Branford
Prices vary- but I suspect they're all pretty pricey. There may be many more-but that's what coming off the top of my head. Good luck.
I have only been in two and that's only because I have visited people I know who have lived in them. Those would be the Gables in Guilford and Cedar woods in Branford. They are very different in location . Both are lovely.
You really have to get prices from them and go visit. I also think there's another one in Guilford called Green Grove.
Are there any that you think are better or worse than others?
If you think your MIL might need care for Alzheimers in the future, you might look at ones with an attached "memory care" unit. I think the Brightwood chain does that, and maybe the Hearth ones. I would look for one that has a professional Social Worker available, as it sounds like she could use an assessment of her capabilities.
I was recently at the Gables and was impressed with the facilities and the activities available. My son-in-laws' grandfather spent his final monthes there, and the family was very pleased with the entire experience. He began as an independent , as his condition worsened, aides (private)and hospice came in, and he was able to pass peacefully in his apartment. A beautiful facility with a caring staff. And yes, pricey.
Great to hear that some of these places sound like good options, especially based on firsthand knowledge. I've already started contacting some of these places to get more information.
Goldenage, I'd love to have her assessed and having these staff available is definitely a benefit as far as DF and I see it, but MIL is highly resistant. DF and I keep a close eye on her for this. MIL is not at the point where we could get a conservatorship, however, there have been days when we've had to seriously consider it. Fortunately, those days are currently few and far between.
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