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A couple of weeks is enough time for YOU to accept the fact that a beloved person is gone, but you can't speak for them. If it's your child, YOU MAY NEVER ACCEPT IT but you do what you have to do.
And just because you're religious and believe in an afterlife doesn't make it any more comforting because when it comes right down to it, you are now deprived of seeing your daughter forever as long as you're in this world. The only time the mother will see her is through memories, faith, and pictures. The sheer grief that family must be feeling I can't even fathom.
All that's happening is the prolonging and exacerbating of the grief. Once support is removed and she is buried they will be able to begin the grieving process. As a doctor I would seriously consider who I put on a vent after this case.
I seriously doubt that you can court-order a surgeon to perform a surgical procedure.
This entire situation is out of control and the family, the other patients in the PICU and the health care workers are the ones suffering. I notice that no one discusses the girl's suffering because she is NOT suffering because she is dead.
I wonder what the ripple effect of the court getting this involved for this length of time will be for future cases. Will there be another family who refuses to accept that their loved one is brain dead and get an attorney to stop the hospital from removing equipment?
That is something that I am worried about as well.
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Originally Posted by Spazkat9696
And when will it end? How long will this go on? Will her mom keep this going until the day the mom dies?
The news coverage says that the family will need permission of the coroner to transport their daughter. It is obvious that they will need the coroner involved as they will be transporting a dead body rather a live child.
Again, I am not making light of the suffering of the family, but enough time has passed for them to accept the determinations of three different experts that their daughter has died.
You would think that a religious family would understand that what is in the bed is just an empty shell and their actual daughter is already in heaven (if that is what she believed).
Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise
A couple of weeks is enough time for YOU to accept the fact that a beloved person is gone, but you can't speak for them. If it's your child, YOU MAY NEVER ACCEPT IT but you do what you have to do.
And just because you're religious and believe in an afterlife doesn't make it any more comforting because when it comes right down to it, you are now deprived of seeing your daughter forever as long as you're in this world. The only time the mother will see her is through memories, faith, and pictures. The sheer grief that family must be feeling I can't even fathom.
You are right, that it takes different people different amounts of time to adjust to the finality of death.
I can not imagine the pain that her family must be going though.
My point is that three different medical experts have determined that the daughter has died. I believe that the medical experts are correct and that it is wrong to get the courts involved. In virtually 100% of all cases just one doctor is needed to pronounce someone dead. I can not imagine the chaos that will result if every family took the hospital and doctors to court when their family member is declared dead.
Yes, our family was heart broken when our mother had a massive stroke and died. But, putting in a feeding tube and breathing tube would not have "brought her back to life". She was dead. Even if we involved the courts our mother would still have been dead.
I agree with others who believe that there "is more to this story". Is the family fighting for this to increase a medical malpractice payout? Or are they truly delusional? Or are they waiting for her to be raised from the dead, as Lazarus was in the bible? Or did a family member do something that they feel guilty about (such as lie about the daughter's medical history or hasten her death in some way)? Or something else?
You are right, that it takes different people different amounts of time to adjust to the finality of death.
I can not imagine the pain that her family must be going though.
My point is that three different medical experts have determined that the daughter has died. I believe that the medical experts are correct and that it is wrong to get the courts involved. In virtually 100% of all cases just one doctor is needed to pronounce someone dead. I can not imagine the chaos that will result if every family took the hospital and doctors to court when their family member is declared dead.
Yes, our family was heart broken when our mother had a massive stroke and died. But, putting in a feeding tube and breathing tube would not have "brought her back to life". She was dead. Even if we involved the courts our mother would still have been dead.
I agree with others who believe that there "is more to this story". Is the family fighting for this to increase a medical malpractice payout? Or are they truly delusional? Or are they waiting for her to be raised from the dead, as Lazarus was in the bible? Or did a family member do something that they feel guilty about (such as lie about the daughter's medical history or hasten her death in some way)? Or something else?
I don't think it's financial...I honestly think it's because they can't come to grip with the fact that their child is in the state that she is in. Like many of us, we really don't think we would be in that "1%" that could die from a surgery. It does happen, yes, but we really just don't like to think that it would be us or our loved one. Honestly, I just don't know how I'd react if someone said to me, "Riaelise, I'm afraid your daughter...had some complications from the surgery.....I'm afraid....she's brain dead"
They can dispense all the explanations in the world...it would be very hard for me to get past three simple words "She's brain dead". We as parents always hope for even a shred of hope. A glimmer of hope. It may indeed be delusion. Truth be told, while I equate brain death to true death, for people who are distraught "brain death" might offer just this little slice of hope vs. simply saying that she's dead. As in heart stopped, body cold.
At the same time, my heart does feel for this child. She is basically gone to them. She will never kiss her mother again, or touch her, or even blink to her. She isn't even in a comatose state. She is just simply there. Yet, as a mother, sometimes you hold onto whatever you've got because you know that once your child is in the ground, she is physically gone. That's the part that I just couldn't get over.
An Obamacare oversight. It should have included coverage for dead people. Without preexisting conditions of course.
I'm thinking death should be a preexisting condition that excludes coverage. Can you imagine how much extra all of the young healthy people will have to pay to cover this?
Support needs to be withdrawn. Not to sound callous, but this girl is dead. Her family needs to bury her and grieve for their extraordinary loss. Medical care is for the living. She needs to be given her dignity.
Actually, tonsil removal is a major surgery and is NOT routine, regardless of the fact that it used to be performed routinely.
Again yes it is routine. It is one of the most common surgical procedures preformed on children. 530,000 per year are preformed in the US alone. Thats 1,500 per day. You can't get any more routine then that. Only one in 15,000 results in a death like this. Which is just the normal surgical screwup rate in the US. Somebody screwed up to make that girl, the one in 15,000. And you people expect the hospital to just come out and say, yep we screwed up. That girls death should not have happened. The hospital is just trying to cover their asses. They will be sued, and they will settle.
Got a bad feeling in my gut about these parents. Won't say more because wrong forum. Hope it just holiday food indigestion.
Yeah, obviously they did something to cause their daughters death, so they could sue the hospital. Somebody will always try and find a way to blame the victims.
Bad news when court system over rules medical decisions.
If our country had socialized medicine, would this amount of resources be allowed for this situation?
Somebody will always try and politicalize every situation. Too bad for you, that we have a legal system in this country. Damn due process, is costing us all this money.
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Somebody will always try and find a way to blame the victims.
