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I think there's definitely an element of I'M BETTER THAN THAT! sanctimony in which people secretly revel in these stories. I consider them tragedies. I cannot count the number of times as a father that I suddenly thought "OMG, where's ____?" when at the park, or just watching the kids at home, when my attention wandered briefly. I shudder at the possibilities. And sometimes I wonder if the difference between myself and the parents in these cases is just dumb luck piled upon dumb luck for many of them. Inattention, yes. But who among us as parents have not been inattentive at times?
I cannot take satisfaction and feel superior to them.
I just pity the children. And I pity the parents, who will suffer for the rest of their - probably long - lives as a result.
I couldn't have said it better. We are fallible creatures. It's foolish for anybody to say "I could never do that." We all have had helmet fires. Thankfully, most of them haven't involved anything close to the value of our own children. But we have all made stupid mistakes so Unset's post rings too true.
Yes, I heard about that idea too of leaving something else important in the back seat.
On 1 hand, it's sad that it takes leaving a briefcase or a cell phone next to your baby in order for a person to remember the child.
But on the other hand, if such a suggestion saves even 1 child's life, then it's totally worth it to try.
Problem is, you're right back to relying on human memory, focus, and attention span.... which are actually what is causing problem in the first place. It's like you have to remember to remind yourself to remember the kid in the back seat.
I'm not convinced that technology is the answer. Some sort of warning device might help, but I'll bet it wouldn't totally eliminate hot car deaths. I still think people scaling back their daily routines and not letting their selves become so overloaded is a better answer.
I find it incredibly sad that parents can forget they even have a child in the car and just walk away. Why are they so preoccupied and not thinking of those little tykes in the car? My gosh, back in the 70's I never once forgot my child.
I'm not a perfect human being but how do you forget a child? What is going on?
If what it takes is a purse or phone in the back seat to remind someone that their kid is there, it's a painless solution. It's also a sad one---that a purse or phone is more at the forefront of someone's mind than their kid. Yeah, I know that every time drivers leave their cars they take their purse and phone whereas they don't always have a kid to take out. But still, why didn't we hear about this years ago? I know there wasn't as much ready/incessant/non-local media to tell us about it all the time, but I also think people are more distracted. They are getting less and poorer quality sleep. Their minds have just been conditioned to think about the next second and what will be on an electronic screen rather than keep in mind future actions that need to be taken and the bigger picture of real life.
And most people won't keep their phones in the back seat because they want them right next to them or in hand to use at a red light or unfortunately all too frequently as they drive.
Seems like there would have been more on the case after at least five days. Last I read was that no charges have been filed and the woman was cooperating with the police. No charges filed? Even if it was an accident, people get charged for car accidents and other types. And where was she taking the brother? Seems that if she was going to work at a day care center, the kid was in the back seat to be brought into the day care center. Not to remember that he was back there for five hours????
But still, why didn't we hear about this years ago?
Because years ago cars didn't have airbags, and car seats could be installed in the front passenger seat. And infant car seats didn't face backward, hiding the kid from the driver.
We've made kids safer from car crashes, but the safety improvements unfortunately introduced a new, different danger.
Seems like there would have been more on the case after at least five days. Last I read was that no charges have been filed and the woman was cooperating with the police. No charges filed? Even if it was an accident, people get charged for car accidents and other types. And where was she taking the brother? Seems that if she was going to work at a day care center, the kid was in the back seat to be brought into the day care center. Not to remember that he was back there for five hours????
The boy's half sister might not be the person who usually drives him to doctor appointments, and as the article says, oftentimes people go into autopilot. It's not that she was texting and driving or whatever, it's that once she started driving to work, in her mind everything was fine and her brother wasn't in the car, like he wasn't in her car every other day.
From the article:
Quote:
“Memory is a machine,” he says, “and it is not flawless. Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.”
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Last edited by toosie; 03-06-2017 at 04:38 PM..
Reason: TOS - copyright - just a link and brief snippet please (1-2sentences) You may summarize in your words
The thing to me is that there is a difference between leaving a child in the car for HOURS vs leaving them in there for 1-2 minutes (assuming it's not 95'F and the AC is broken etc) while you pay for gas. The former I've never done, the latter I had occasion to do on several occasions. Once when my son was around 1 year old I had to pick up something from the PO Box, it was drizzly and it was about 53'F outside and he was napping. It made no sense to wake him up and disturb his sleep to carry him in the PO Box for that quick of a visit. On top of that you risk getting hit by a car crossing the street, especially trying to carry the package and the child at the same time, and you expose them to drizzly 53'F conditions. The only reason to take him inside is to prevent kidnappings, and I simply don't believe kidnappings are THAT common.
As for why a person would forget a child and not a cell phone, it's because a cell phone is designed to go with you EVERYWHERE into infinity and it's something that fits into your pocket. A child will grow up and be able to explore on their own as they mature, they're not designed to be with you into infinity, they're growing developing beings with their own life even though of course their life largely revolves around you when they're little. A cell phone is no such thing.
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