windhaven snobs...i am done trying to initiate conversations/ smile at you. (Dallas: 2013, apartment complex) - Texas (TX) - City-Data Forum

deepika1977 · 11-01-2013, 07:47 AM

There I said it and flame me for it.

We have had the privilege of living here since June 2013 and I think we could not have landed in the most unfriendly place as this one. We have tried at school events, PTA's, even during morning school drop off to smile and try to friend people and get nothing in response. zero. They just look thru us like we are transparent.

I just want to know, do you devalue us because we are another race? I say this coz the other Asians we know feel the same way. It almost looks like these snobs think they have fallen from a golden planet or something. What is to feel so proud about? Who do you think you are?

This morning I heard a woman scream at an asian during drop off yelling at her to learn driving/parking in her home country. Yesterday at Halloween, we went trick or treating in the same area. Being from the Midwest, we were wishing people happy Halloween and got nothing back in return. Our kids were instructed over and over by these snobs "take 2 candies only". I mean do you people feel we raise our kids in a barn? Don't they know to take 1 or 2 already?

I had heard before living here that skin color plays a very important role especially in areas as these. I never thought much about that until now. I really do think those rumors were true.

I do not want to raise our kids here where friends are made with pre assessment done. Wealth check, posh car check, million dollar house check and then I will be your friend if you meet this criteria. Are most places like these in Dallas? How is Frisco in terms of friendliness?

MStreetClassics · 11-01-2013, 08:55 AM

Sorry to hear about your experience thus far. I only lived in Plano as a child which was many years ago, so I can't speak to the current state of affairs, but I have good friends from there who are nothing like what you describe. Unfortunately it sounds like you just haven't encountered these types yet. What is keeping you in the area? If you can afford Windhaven then there are plenty of options for you. I think the closer you move to Dallas, the friendlier and more open you'll find folks to be. There are of course tradeoffs that must be made, as the school districts won't be as good and there will be more petty crime, so that's just something you'll have to consider.

I don't mean this as a knock to the people of the northern burbs, as there are many great people there. This has just been my experience.

HockDad · 11-01-2013, 08:55 AM

I can't tell if you are overly sensitive or if you have run into an extremely unfriendly place. If it is the later, I hope that you find a few good friends.

The comment that made me think that you might be overly sensitive is the "take two candies" each comment. I bet I said that last night to 200 kids. I said it whether the kids were white, Asian, eskimos, Mexicans, Icelanders, etc. Kids get so excited at Halloween they sometimes "forget" to only take a couple and start grabbing. I sure hope that no one took offense last night at my comments.

As for skin color, that is an issue that we don't run across that often. To say that people are colorblind would be naïve, but to think that it is 10x better now than it was even 20-30 years ago is probably accurate. Moreover, the United States is not the only country that struggles with this issue. How do you think that the average black family would be treated if they was walking the streets in Japan or Vietnam?

Once again, I wish you the best of luck of finding some good friends. If there are racists fools, don't suffer them. Just find other good people. I am sure you are surrounded by them.

shelbelle72 · 11-01-2013, 08:58 AM

I'm so sorry you are having this experience. I live in the central part (middle-income) part of Plano and I love it here. I feel the vibe you're talking about every time I visit areas west of Preston Rd. (sorry west-Planoites, but I do) Even my beloved Trader Joe's gets the ugly-mannered people sometimes. I really don't think it's racial. Some folks are just plain jerks.

bencronin04 · 11-01-2013, 09:05 AM

I agree with the above poster. It was been awhile since I've dealt with many of the people above. I will say from past encounters(especially 20 somethings and unders) they made sure I knew they were from WEST Plano. I don't know why they felt such the need to make that distinction, but I found it quite humorous. Hope it gets better for you OP.

TXred · 11-01-2013, 09:32 AM

Wow one apartment complex I've really been considering is just outside of the Windhaven area, maybe in it, I'm not sure. I'm white but certainly don't wish to live in an area where people are such snobs they ignore you if you say hello right to their face, or look down their noses at you. On some of my visits to the DFW area one thing I really noticed compared to where I live now, is how friendly the people were! I would say just hold your head high. You know you are a good, decent, friendly person and that's all that matters. Also, if you love your home I don't think you should need to move to where the "nicer people" are. Don't let others choose your mood...just keep saying hello with a big smile and if they are nasty then they are the ones with the sad sad life.

BigDGeek · 11-01-2013, 09:37 AM

Richardson isn't like that.

As for people telling kids to take one or two pieces...you shouldn't take that personally. I handed out candy at Halloween in my neighborhood every year but this one and those kids would go into the bowl with both fists if you didn't tell them to take only one or two. I said that to every kid.

As for Asians, especially Indians...whether this is fair or not, they do have a reputation for not being friendly with people outside of their own race/ethnicity. So there may be some of that going on...people stereotype Indians as being unfriendly, so they don't make the effort to be warm to you. Unfortunately that means you have to try harder. It sucks but that's just how it is.

Made_it_To_the_Metroplex · 11-01-2013, 09:46 AM

I just wonder what causes such differences in people's behavior in different areas that aren't really that far from each other? As we've all heard, "good manners cost nothing" - wonder why it's apparently so hard for some folks to use them?

Thankfully, our experiences here anywhere we've been in the Metroplex have been far different. There ARE tons of really nice people here, so I sincerely hope you have better luck soon!

Squirl · 11-01-2013, 09:55 AM

I don't live in Windhaven. But I must admit I am not a very friendly person. Not unfriendly either. I am equally unapproachable to all races.

My dad was Jewish. Every time he had a negative experience with other people he insisted they were anti-Semitic. Probably he was right....some of the time.

deepika1977 · 11-01-2013, 09:56 AM

We came to this area and are currently renting just because of the school. People raved on and on about Brinker and this area was close to the job as well. I personally love this area and we were planning to buy here as soon as the lease is up. However, these recent developments have made is reconsider.

Glad to know from some of you that there are areas in Plano that seem to be nicer and have friendly people. The only friendly stores I know here are the whole foods and market street. I stopped going to tom thumb (around windhaven area) when I was asked to go do a price check myself and get the sticker for a refund. Yikes!!

The attitude I get from people around this area is you are so beneath me and a waste of my time to even consider. Makes me wonder if there is something wrong with myself. I fear I will turn in to one of these stepford wives and lose my personality here trying to mimic them.

We are looking at other areas to buy for sure.