What is the difference between Highland Park and Univeristy Park? (Dallas: houses, high school)

[GreyDay]

Originally Posted by BellaO

Do both HP and UP share one high school?

Yes. One upper school for UP and HP. And one hairstyle for all the girls.

[mami2emily]

Hoping my girl will start a new trend...she's got the shiniest jet black hair you've ever seen and a very chic bob!

[TurtleCreek80]

I really wouldn't worry. My sister and I both had straight dark brown hair and fair skin....not the blonde/tan "typical" HPHS look. Sister was a Highland Belles Lieutenant and All-American Dance Team, on Student Council, always had a popular boyfriend, voted "Class Favorite". I was also a Belle, newspaper editor in chief, never lacked for friends or dates, etc. We didnt have new cars (drove a 1987 car straight through her graduation in mid 2000's. We did just fine without blonde hair and that lovely orange-y tan skin.

Brother had the brown floppy "SEC" hair going on....definitely more of the HPHS "look" than sis and I have.

Had to pull out the old yearbook to get it correct.
Varsity girl cheerleaders my year:
1 redhead
1 platinum blonde
3 dirty blondes
4 dark brunettes
4 with curly/frizzy hair. 5 with straight hair.

Highland Belles my year:
3 platinum blonde/ orange tan girls
4 normal blonde girls (ie, fair skin)
2 dirty blondes
13 dark brunettes
1 redhead
Two of the brunettes were very dark-skin...almost Native American Indian tone of skin
Mostly straight hair, but all different lengths from just below the chin to nearly waist-length.


Bottom line, if you raise a confident daughter who is told regularly by her dad & mom that she's beautiful just the way she is....she'll be fine. If you constantly point out that everyone looks different than her- how skinny they are when she is more round/athletic, how blonde they are when she is black/Asian/Hispanic/redhead, or how straight their hair is when hers is so curly it would take a team of professionals to make it Jennifer Anniston-straight everyday- you will build insecurities in her that will ruin her preteen and teenage years.

So greygannon, I know we're on an anonymous message boards, but think twice before the next time you crack a joke about your daughter not fitting in because her hair's not the right length/ texture/ color. I suspect you may make the same remarks in real life, even as a joke. Just plead know how damaging they can be to your daughter, even if you think it's a harmless crack.

[GreyDay]

I actually take it very seriously. Self-image especially to a woman of color during her formative years is nothing to take lightly.

From media that puts forth the anglo ideal as ideal, comments used whenever something happens to a woman "she was great, blonde hair, blue eyes..." as though that was their idea of perfection.

I don't worry about my daughter getting anything other than positive reinforcement at home. But you have to admit that Belle ideal is fairly monolithic. I'd post the 2011 photo but thought better against it.

I went to a version of HPISD and maybe that was in the 90's but I know some of the things that I saw. Mind you my experience was tempered by the fact that I was all-state lacrosse middie and running back.

Again your observations (and I have read them and thank you for such candor) are just that. You weren't with those students everyday. You didn't know the terror of finding the right table to sit at or sit alone or any of another thousand small things that you may take for granted.

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by ganongrey

You weren't with those students everyday. You didn't know the terror of finding the right table to sit at or sit alone or any of another thousand small things that you may take for granted.

I don't know what "those students" you are referring to, but if you're talking about people of other race/religion/etc, yes, I was with "those" students every day and count 1 half Chinese/half Polish Jew, 1 half Chinese/ half American, 1 Muslim, and 1 other Jew among my nearest and dearest friends from high school whom I am still in regular contact with to this day. None of them came from my elementary school, but when we all met in middle school "Explorations" (HPISD's "TAG" program for grades 1-8), we became fast friends- along with about 10-12 others in our grade.

So, no, from my direct experience, I never witnessed ANY of "those students" eating lunch alone or being mocked for being different. In fact, the large portion of our grade who was invited to the Bat Mitzvah celebrations had a BLAST (and learned a little about Judaia, too). We loved to hang out at the half-Chinese friend's home and watch the mom & her friends (some Chinese, some American) play mah-jong. She cooked the most amazing Chinese food, too.

The kids I remember being outcasts at HP, middle school and high school, were the - bluntly- REALLY awkward, geeky kids who were either in the band or into computers/video games. One of my classmates is now a tech professor at Carnegie Mellon....but that poor guy had NO friends growing up. He was just too different, socially. There were also a handful of truly obese kids who were pretty much outcasts and picked on/ made fun of- especially in the middle school cafeteria.

But kids of color? No, I am racking my brain going through the 15-20 that were in my class and they all had their own friends and did their own thing- be it sports or academics or music or whatever. Some were even wildly popular- one Hispanic baseball player in particular in my class.

I'm not trying to belittle the situation because other than travel, I haven't ever been the only one to look really different than everyone else. But I hardly think your daughter is destined to be a social outcast, have no friends, ear lunch alone, and have everyone respond No to her birthday parties....unless she's got the most unfortunate awkward social skills of all time.

[GreyDay]

Lawn Furniture.

[skids929]

Originally Posted by ganongrey

I actually take it very seriously. Self-image especially to a woman of color during her formative years is nothing to take lightly.

You make it sound like it's "especially" difficult for a black girl in her formative years. As opposed to a white girl in her formative years?

No offense to you personally, but I really despise this mentality altogether. And I doubt your daughter is worried more about this than you are. Seriously though, it's just this that drives me bat-**** in this country between blacks and whites-- This silly dividing line that to ALOT of white people simply doesn't exist. Seems like more and more blacks I meet think there is though, and are all too willing to call it out at the drop of a hat. High School social pressures are generally the same for all kids, don't make your daughters more difficult by making it about race.

Seriously, best thing you can do for her is live your life by letting alot more roll off your back in that regard and not creating any hyper-sensitivity around it. You can only worry about the things you can control in life is the message here.

[racehorse]

Like ganongrey, I am concerned about self-image in black girls because I am one and have one. Sales of hair straightening products have declined in recent years, and it has really only been in the last ten years or so that I've noticed black professional women wearing their hair natural. It's not all that easy to find a stylist who will work with natural hair. I want my daughter to feel great about her OEM hair and not feel like it's an issue that needs to be fixed.

[GreyDay]

Originally Posted by racehorse

Like ganongrey, I am concerned about self-image in black girls because I am one and have one. The sale of hair straightening products have declined in recent years, and it has really only been in the last ten years or so that I've noticed black women wearing their hair natural. It's not all that easy to find a stylist who will work with natural hair. I want my daughter to feel great about her OEM hair and not feel like it's an issue that needs to be fixed.

Not to beat a dead horse. But school at some points is all about fitting in. If you've seen the sports team photos at HP there is little difference in hair length, style and little in color. As a white person you may not notice it because it's your existence, your normality. But take a Black girl and suddenly she doesnt fit the 'ideal beauty standard'. It's no one's fault per se, but in a world that prays at the altar of the blonde hair/ blue eye ideal it's more difficult for a woman of color who by definition can never fit that ideal.

So take a young girl with identity issues, she's already a severe minority in the school, image-wise she's never gonna look like Becky Belintzy and you have a potential recipe for trouble.

I may joke about the homogeneity of HP, but like all jokes there's quite a bit of truth to it. And just like the one black girl on the basketball team stands out in the poster (although she actually has the same pageboy the other girls wear) she stands out in school, which isn't the same as standing apart.

[biafra4life]

Originally Posted by skids929

You make it sound like it's "especially" difficult for a black girl in her formative years. As opposed to a white girl in her formative years?

No offense to you personally, but I really despise this mentality altogether. And I doubt your daughter is worried more about this than you are. Seriously though, it's just this that drives me bat-**** in this country between blacks and whites-- This silly dividing line that to ALOT of white people simply doesn't exist. Seems like more and more blacks I meet think there is though, and are all too willing to call it out at the drop of a hat. High School social pressures are generally the same for all kids, don't make your daughters more difficult by making it about race.

Seriously, best thing you can do for her is live your life by letting alot more roll off your back in that regard and not creating any hyper-sensitivity around it. You can only worry about the things you can control in life is the message here.

I partly agree and disagree with you here. On one hand, it does the child no good to teach her to look for a Klansman in every corner, but on the flip side, this is a black girl who is going to be in a lily white school system like HPISD, so I would say that yes in this case, her formative years are going to be if nothing else, more 'unique' than those of a white girl in the same environment. The opposite is also true, a white girl going to a majority black school is generally going to have a more difficult time than would a black girl in the same school.

Finally as far as race in general, I think there is a fine line separating common sense from over reacting...teaching your kids to judge every person by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin is always a good starting point. On the flip side, pretending that racism and prejudice dont exist is doing your kid a disservice...they DO happen, even today, and your kid should know how to recognize it, and more importantly, how to respond to it.