Please Help: Private School Wants My Child to Stay Back A Grade... (Dallas: fit in, middle school)

[blakely]

Originally Posted by DallasNewbie001

Why would the school wait till right at the end of the school year to announce that the child needs to stay back? There was no previous communication that threatening that he would need to stay back.

This part would irk me, too. It's something that should have been communicated much earlier in the year, whatever concerns they had, and what sort of progress and skill development they were looking for. I have no idea if your son would benefit from being held back or not, but you should have been made aware earlier that there were concerns. That also would have given you time to consider other schools for next year (if you wanted) when there were more openings. To spring this on you at the end of the year shows a grievous lack of communication for a decision this important.

That said, my advice would be to try to step back from how the situation was handled and ask yourself honestly (1) if there is merit in the advice, and (2) whether this is the right school for him. You may want an outsider to help you make that decision. In the end, if your son would benefit from an extra year in school, you could be doing him a big favor and someday may be grateful to have learned this, albeit not handled in the best way.

[WorldKlas]

My son was on the younger side and immature but a good student. I wish he would have been held back because socially he would have benefitted. And next year his class size will be smaller, too! A big win.

But do ask the school how your child will be challenged in the classes previously mastered.

[DallasNewbie001]

Please do not be offended, I did not mean to get anyone upset...


What I am trying to determine is if a parent/child has any rights whatsoever. Are there any laws, rules, or regulations that protect parent/child rights in these situations.



I would guess that if I sent my child to a public school that I could go to the Dallas ISD office and appeal to them but this is a private school. Is there any organization or government body, public advocate, probono law group, public interest group, ombudsman, etc.



Can a private school arbitrarily make a determination without the parent's consent. I mean can a private school make a determination on their own saying that a 4th grader should stay back in 1st grade without having any legal recourse or ability to appeal that decision?


The problem is that if there is a means to rectify the problem, like accepting the assignment late, it should be a considered alternative than, your child was late with their assignments for one class due to COVID, therefore your child will be staying back!

[DallasNewbie001]

Originally Posted by Threestep2

You know how to check on class enrollments but relied on your child to keep you up to date on catching up after being out?

Unfortunately I got COVID and stayed sick for a couple of weeks. I was pretty much sick in bed... now that I am better, I went online and within a minute was able to find the enrollment numbers...

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by DallasNewbie001

Please do not be offended, I did not mean to get anyone upset...


What I am trying to determine is if a parent/child has any rights whatsoever. Are there any laws, rules, or regulations that protect parent/child rights in these situations.


I would guess that if I sent my child to a public school that I could go to the Dallas ISD office and appeal to them but this is a private school. Is there any organization or government body, public advocate, probono law group, public interest group, ombudsman, etc.

Basically, no. You have no legal rights in this situation. Private schools are just that, private entities, with their own bylaws and parent / student handbooks. If you have advocated directly to the administration and they denied your request to continue, that is the end of the line for you. This is not a *legal* problem - if the school is breaking an actual law or protecting someone who is breaking a law (like sexual relationships with students or financial embezzlement), that’s different.

Private and public schools are inherently different. Private schools have the freedom to teach a certain religion, create their own curriculum, mandate or not mandate vaccines, create their own schedules (like only 4 days a week, or a year round schedule), not accepting all qualified applicants, rejecting an applicant due to not being “full pay”, asking students who don’t maintain a code of conduct or academic standards to leave, etc - a number of things that don’t fly in public schools because of state public education laws.

**For these reasons, it’s imperative that families select a private school that they 110% buy into - the admin, the educational philosophy, discipline philosophy, etc.


And I do caution again, if you threaten legal action (even though there is none you can take) or make yourself a “problem” parent, you could very well find your entire family asked to unenroll.

Originally Posted by DallasNewbie001

Can a private school arbitrarily make a determination without the parent's consent. I mean can a private school make a determination on their own saying that a 4th grader should stay back in 1st grade without having any legal recourse or ability to appeal that decision? !

Yes. They can. 100%.

Originally Posted by DallasNewbie001

The problem is that if there is a means to rectify the problem, like accepting the assignment late, it should be a considered alternative than, your child was late with their assignments for one class due to COVID, therefore your child will be staying back!

I absolutely agree that given the facts you’ve shared, it seems like there should have been an earlier intervention. I also think there might be more to the story than you know or are sharing.

Bottom line - you are not forced to stay in this school but if you do, you play by their book.

[EDS_]

OP,

1. Short of overt fraud or similar the chances that a judge would enjoin the school to promote your kiddo over the school's professional set of opinions approach zero.

2. As others have said if you somehow someway were to involve a court/arbitration you'd need to move all of your kids most likely.

3. As your kiddo is the youngest and did fall behind to such a degree a teacher feels kiddo should not be promoted to the next grade...........is it just possible the teacher and the school have it right?

4. The school's accrediting association lays out very specific rules and regs for holding kids back. I'd bet you dollars to donuts the school has reviewed kiddo's performance vs. said metrics.



Good luck and all the best to your child moving forward.


ETA - this won't help much but for some perspective one of my son's best friends is a ER/ED attending physician.......this guy was held back twice.

[hereticiam]

It may be tough to go through this right now, but this may be a blessing in disguise in the long run.
My son has always been the youngest kid in his class. He was my firstborn. Given what I know now he was much better of being held back. Maturity helps both academically and socially. What is the long-term goal? Is it have your child do well in school and be ready for real-world to be successful. Private schools are not required to change rules for anyone. Even if you were to put external pressure and somehow get your kid to advance to the next grade there might be resentment that may impact all of your kids.

[Okey Dokie]

Originally Posted by WorldKlas

My son was on the younger side and immature but a good student. I wish he would have been held back because socially he would have benefitted. And next year his class size will be smaller, too! A big win.

I was one of the youngest kids in my class, as well. I did okay in school, but I would have LOVED to have been one of the oldest rather than the youngest.

[Threestep2]

Originally Posted by DallasNewbie001

Unfortunately I got COVID and stayed sick for a couple of weeks. I was pretty much sick in bed... now that I am better, I went online and within a minute was able to find the enrollment numbers...

And who took care of kids and family while you had Covid. To me it sounds like you are using excuses for not having stayed on top of things.

The school determined your child is not ready to move to the next class and will benefit from retaking the current year. Academically and personal. Your child did not make up assignments missed for what you call a short period and quarantine; probably weeks and nobody at home noticed it.

Apparently the school is working with you on tuition for three students.

Long term unemployment in the current job market?

[DallasNewbie001]

Originally Posted by hereticiam

It may be tough to go through this right now, but this may be a blessing in disguise in the long run.
My son has always been the youngest kid in his class. He was my firstborn. Given what I know now he was much better of being held back. Maturity helps both academically and socially. What is the long-term goal? Is it have your child do well in school and be ready for real-world to be successful. Private schools are not required to change rules for anyone. Even if you were to put external pressure and somehow get your kid to advance to the next grade there might be resentment that may impact all of your kids.

My children are my only concern. They are my reason for being. I would do anything for my child if it would help them in any way.

I am just concerned that the private school is unfairly treating my child because of one subject which refuses to credit him for the made up work that was due to an illness contracted from the school (COVID). The other classes like science, math, social studies, etc., he has done phenomenally well in. If my child was such a poor student, they would not be succeeding in every other class. Math, Science, Social Studies are objective, either you get the right answer or not. English is subjective, so it is easier to just say that their reading/writing is not meeting expectations.

The issue is why is the school so adamant about my child staying back? If you say that the child was failing in all the subjects, I could understand but if it is just one subject, why not accept the turned in late assignments? Why not accept the offer to send the child to summer school, and contingent on their passing the class, that the child be allowed to progress to the next grade. If they were so bad at English it would be reflected in the writings/reading ability for their other subjects and result in lower achievements.

It means that repeating all those classes, redoing all that work. It means that if I were my child, I would be demotivated because even though I studied hard, did my homework (except in English), did well on my tests and quizzes, it did not amount to anything. It means that the friends made will be lost as they are the 'looser' that had to stay back and was just too stupid to move forward. My child will probably face teasing, bullying, and other harassment despite the promising that they will not let that happen.

Are you telling me, that since it is a private school and they are not breaking the law, that they can completely arbitrarily make such life altering decisions.