Indian Senior Citizen living - assisted living Dallas (Houston, Austin: how much, home)

[dmomshanti]

Hi

I am in Dallas. My mom who is above 75, moved-in with us last year from India. None of the siblings live in India therefore we had to move her to Dallas. Having lived as a dependent housewife all life, her life revolved around cooking, social and managing day to day stuff at home but physically she is weak to do cooking and much leg work. Without a real hobby, she now feels she has nothing to do all day - no social life, and she is not too much into religion. Our kids are all gone to college and there is nothing to do all day as both of us work. What can I do?
Is there any independent or assisted senior retirement place, exclusive to Indian community (so it can have religious activities, Indian food, like-minded people), in Dallas, Austin, or in Houston ? How much would it cost? Florida is only my 2nd option.

Thanks

[TeamLynn]

Depending on where you live there may be a ”senior center” that has activities. Call 311 to ask about the possibilities.
Also some chance you can let her participate in some of the other cities senior activities, such as Farmers Branch or Richardson or maybe some other city close to you. These could involve lunch or lunch and games. Could she join a service club like Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, etc? Could she volunteer somewhere?

[ChristieP]

Due to the anti-discrimination laws in the USA, it would not be legal for an assisted living facility to cater to one ethnicity. The facilities have to accept people of all ethnicities, religions, etc. If you look around, you may find one that has activities which would appeal more to people of a certain ethnicity.

[dmomshanti]

Agreed, I don’t really care if it is not an exclusive place. Do you know of such places in Dallas or Houston where there are lot of such activities that Indian community elders would enjoy?

[dmomshanti]

TeamLynn,
My mom does not speak English as such and most of these activities won’t be enjoyable without proper communication skills and physical strength to be active on feet more than 1 hour. She has low BP issue that causes episodes of passing out. That’s why I was looking for place where more people who speak Indian languages are around her, and assisted living option so nurse can keep an eye on her, give meds, etc

[Threestep2]

You may want to inquire within your circle and church how people deal with elderly in this particular situation. Maybe you and several others can share hosting activities and hiring staff to keep elderly parents active during your working days. Have you enrolled your mother in English classes?
Are you looking for an assisted living facility as in her living there full time? There are plenty in the DFW area. If so - have you discussed this with her and her physician and the other family members? Costs vary depending on facility, services offered.
Are you looking for a community center? Again Google and the Indian community will be your best sources.

[Rakin]

The Indian community is huge in the Irving / Las Colinas / Coppell areas. You should do some research in those areas.

I would guess there are quite a few Indian elderly and activities in these areas that would be right for your mom.

[L00k4ward]

It could be detrimental for your Mom to stay in US due to her age.
The language barrier, lack of social activities, chatting and visiting with the neighbors, different taste of food - even if it is the same food.

I think she could be much better off in India, where your money could secure a caregiver, a cook and the gardener maybe?

You could have once weekly family zoom, one child on Sunday, another - some other day.
Then each of you could visit once a year or more if you can?

Not an ideal solution, but she would be happier there? You could upgrade her living arrangements there and if it is possible to move her closer to the airport - for the ease of travel for you?

It depends how drastically different her new place in India would be compare to the old one.
She could be better off in her old neighborhood due to her social connections?

The second option: keep her with you here or in Canada and hire an Indian companion to come daily while you at work? And pray she likes the companion..

[Leonard123]

Assisted living facilities are pretty miserable for the money you pay. I would definitely advise hiring an in-home caregiver whether in India or maybe part-time with family in the US or Canada. With the huge Indian population, I would imagine you could find someone who speaks the same language.

[tcualum]

I've looked in case my mother-in-law needs it and I haven't found an assisted living place in DFW that would meet her needs, ie vegetarian Indian food of the type she eats and an Indian community. Right now she can cook for herself and do light exercise and we plan to hire a caregiver if she gets to the point where she can't physically take care of herself. I don't what we'll do if she develops dementia though. She's bored but she always turns us down when we offer to take her places.