I posted a thread about moving to Dallas a while ago..but.. (Howe: appointed, rent)

[mir86]

I have a few more questions.

Over the past year, I was having 2nd thoughts on moving just because I'm very nervous about starting over now (I'll be 24 in a couple weeks, but 25 when I'm able to move). When I first left home, I was 21 and it didn't feel like a late start to me and I never planned on coming back home, and unfortunately I had to a year later, which has left me in this defeatist feeling ever since. Its just that no matter how hard I try to make a better living here, I'm still stuck at my mom's house after a year of being back and I need to get out, but I don't see an end in sight to this cycle unless I move to another city or I get married (not happening anytime soon).

I love Tucson after living in a place I hated (Los Angeles), but the most frustrating thing about Tucson is the job market for young people starting out and the way our city council is destroying this place and not doing a damn thing to attract big businesses. My other complaint is the education, both K-12 level as well as college here. they keep raising tuition prices and now I can't afford school while supporting myself (even with financial aide) and on top of it, I don't have a degree to get a better job with because of that. It is becoming almost as difficult to live here as it would be in California, just in different ways.

Now how this relates to Dallas is that all the opportunities that I could get in California, I could get in Dallas, but I'd actually be able to afford to support myself and that is the really attractive thing to me. It would be such a nice change to be able to work so hard and actually accomplish something in return for it, unlike here, it doesn't make a difference how hard you work. the other thing is, I have met way more nice/cool Texans than nice/cool Californians (not that they're all mean, as I have met some very nice ones too), which makes the anxiety of the idea of moving there less of an issue.

Everything about Dallas sounds great (except the lack of outdoor recreation, meh), just that a huge part of me is scared because I'm not that fresh out of high school anymore where it would be easy to make friends at school/work. I had the toughest time making friends in LA and I was only 21, but I wonder if that's just LA or if it was because I left right as I was becoming better friends with everyone I met (though I still keep in touch with them). By the time I'd be able to move to Dallas, it would be next summer once I get my MA certificate and I'll be 25. I know that's not too late in life to start over, but depending on a place and the people, I may or may not take a long time to adjust and at 25, I'm not gonna want to be taking too long to adjust to a particular place. I've been back in Tucson for about a year and a half and my life has been at a huge standstill. Socially it is and its not. I'm making lots of friends, but on the flip side, with every guy I meet, a relationship is not feasible with him in some way or he has ulterior motives (I realize that's everywhere, but in other cities I've been to, its not as bad). so my love life has taken a huge nosedive even though I have no problem getting attention at all.

The thing is, I wonder if I'm better off staying here since comfortably, I know lots of people and have a good social life and can travel to a bunch of fun cities from here within 8 hours. I also wonder that if I'm patient enough, maybe a good job opportunity will come along as long as I work hard enough, at least in nearby California (though not living there, I don't think that would work) and then maybe eventually a stable relationship will happen here too (even though its looked dismal for years).

For a long time, I was also wanting to move back to CA, but it'll be years before I can make it there again and its harder to meet like minded people there too (I'm more conservative and very few Californians I met were also conservative), but at least I'll be closer to home for visits. I just wonder if I should also try harder for a job opportunity there in anywhere but LA before I decide on Dallas as well?

I guess my biggest questions is: would Dallas be a logical gamble to take on basically my whole life, based on everything I just said or should I just stay where I'm at and risk forever being at a standstill in every aspect of my life?

Anyways, sorry that was so long..I don't blame you if you didn't read it all! haha. Thanks for any input!

[FL70]

You're young. Far more people in their later years think, I wish I would have..., than I wish I wouldn't have...

Make a move.

[xS☺B☺s]

I'd say why not?! You'll manage in Dallas - it's not nearly as pricey as Cali. You're young - if ya don't like it you can always go home. Consider it an adventure.

[First24]

If something within you is guiding you to Dallas, then make the move when you feel ready. Just don't burn any bridges where you're moving from, because the same people watching you leave will be the same ones watching you return if things happen to not work out.

Later in life, 'I gave it a try' will be a lot easier to live with than 'what if' or 'I should have'.

[mir86]

You all are right, I just never thought I'd be starting over at 25, but I'm really beginning to feel like I have no choice but to leave Tucson if I'm to have the life I'm striving for. So far the only city that lines up the best with my criteria seems to be Dallas. I'll be in the area mid June and then again in July so hopefully I get a good enough feel for things.

[westcoastbound]

We have lived in a bunch of places. Each time it is an adjustment, and we say to ourselves be patient, give it time, and things will fall into place. I do find that people are friendly here and if you get involved in things that are of interest to you, it is easier to make friends in a short period of time.

No place is perfect. Make your decision, then live with it and accept it.
You will be starting all over again for financial aid in terms of establishing residency. However, on the plus side, the cost of living is decent here, and you're choosing yet another sunny (albeit more sweltering) climate. I'd recommend making a list of pros and cons to help you with your decision. Many people feel stuck where they are and are afraid or cannot feasibly make the move. You are young and have mobility. I give you credit for having the fortitude to be considering your options and possibly taking the leap.
Best of luck to you!

[LQQKOUT]

Your young, take the chance. Be open minded, and move on.

[KittySkyfish]

How far along are you in your degree? Are you attending UofA? You mention living at your mom's house - is the rent cheaper there than on your own?

Let me tell you about myself: in 1997, I was 26 with a partial college degree. I chose to move forward with my life and became focused on making more money and developing relationships instead of humbling myself and live w/ mom for a few years to finish my degree. Funny, but life here wasn't as cheap I imagined it to be. I'll be 39 this June and FINALLY graduating with my degree.

As I see it, you are not finished with your degree but you seem more focused on making more money and building a social life and independence. I have to be honest, your priorities are upside-down. You are in the perfect place to complete your education at a GREAT university! You have a golden egg in your lap and you don't even realize it! If I could choose between UofA or a state uni in Dallas, OMG - totally UofA! Seriously - no contest!

And of course you do realize that the cost of education in Tucson is less than Dallas? And you'd be coming in as an out-of-state student, so your tuition costs will be even higher.

Bottom line: buckle down, do whatever it takes and get your degree FINISHED. Then, Dallas will be waiting for you with open arms.

[mordantmonkey]

i totally agree with kittyskyfish.

dallas isn't as expensive as california, but it is difficult to find a really good job if you haven't finished school or don't know the right people.

[LQQKOUT]

Mark Twain:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover