Anyone else having a hard time adjusting to CO? (Denver: home, camping)

[intrinsiknergy]

I moved here from the east coast over two years ago. I didn't come here because I was inspired by the mountains or the outdoor lifestyle like so many others seem to suggest. I didn't have some ideal fantasy about Colorado. I literally had no place else to go after a divorce. I knew CO was going to be different, but I thought over time I would adjust, make some friends, and maybe even one day start dating again. None of that has happened. I don't seem to click with anyone. And when I do meet someone I think could be a potential friend, I'm often blown off very quickly. I've never felt more undervalued, overlooked and disregarded. It's gotten to the point where I have just stopped trying to be social all together. I'm starting to not see a future here. Apparently, everyone in Colorado already has all the friends they need. Has anyone else struggled to find a sense of belonging here? Do I need more time, or is it time to move on?

[goolsbyjazz]

I read your post and am sorry to hear about your experience. I hope things improve for you soon.

[intrinsiknergy]

Originally Posted by goolsbyjazz

I read your post and am sorry to hear about your experience. I hope things improve for you soon.

Thank you. That's very kind.

[synapse]

So, if you look below this on "similar threads," you'll see people having difficulty adjusting to Milwaukee, New York, and other places too.

I think like anything else it just takes time. You've been through a trauma and are trying to adjust. I admit Denver has a certain difficult attitude in meeting people. Everyone's so busy doing their own thing - hiking, skiing, etc. - that it's sometimes hard to meet people.

But it'll happen. Join Meetup groups. Go out to bars and restaurants. Find activities you enjoy and you'll meet other people who like the same thing. Give it time before you give up on it.

[emm74]

I think every city can be a bit tough to move to after a certain age. And as older single woman (moved here in my early 40s), I've found it's more difficult because most of the people I met were married and tended to socialize as couples more.

I tried various meet up groups, but they usually tended to fizzle out after a while because it takes a lot of effort to keep something going over time, plan activities, etc. But it's certainly worth checking them out, because even if the group dies out, you might still have a connection with one or two people with a similar interest. Book clubs are good because they are focused on talking, so a good way to get to know people.

It's hard but keep trying, there are more people out there who feel like you do than you think and would be glad to make a friend if they can figure out the way to make a connection.

(confession, I thought this would be about adjusting to the climate and altitude, and I was going to say that after about a decade, I'd have to let you know! I don't think I'll ever feel fully acclimated here, I always feel soooooo much better physically when I'm sea level on either coast! lol!)

[intrinsiknergy]

Originally Posted by synapse

So, if you look below this on "similar threads," you'll see people having difficulty adjusting to Milwaukee, New York, and other places too.

I think like anything else it just takes time. You've been through a trauma and are trying to adjust. I admit Denver has a certain difficult attitude in meeting people. Everyone's so busy doing their own thing - hiking, skiing, etc. - that it's sometimes hard to meet people.

But it'll happen. Join Meetup groups. Go out to bars and restaurants. Find activities you enjoy and you'll meet other people who like the same thing. Give it time before you give up on it.

I get it. Adjusting is hard. I've moved several times in my adult life, and several more in childhood. But, two years? I've tried all the regular friend-making routes off and on for years. But for results, I may as well have moved here yesterday.

[intrinsiknergy]

Originally Posted by emm74

I think every city can be a bit tough to move to after a certain age. And as older single woman (moved here in my early 40s), I've found it's more difficult because most of the people I met were married and tended to socialize as couples more.

I tried various meet up groups, but they usually tended to fizzle out after a while because it takes a lot of effort to keep something going over time, plan activities, etc. But it's certainly worth checking them out, because even if the group dies out, you might still have a connection with one or two people with a similar interest. Book clubs are good because they are focused on talking, so a good way to get to know people.

It's hard but keep trying, there are more people out there who feel like you do than you think and would be glad to make a friend if they can figure out the way to make a connection.

(confession, I thought this would be about adjusting to the climate and altitude, and I was going to say that after about a decade, I'd have to let you know! I don't think I'll ever feel fully acclimated here, I always feel soooooo much better physically when I'm sea level on either coast! lol!)

Good point. This quite possibly could be an age thing. I'm also in my early 40's.
No immediate altitude issues, but I do wonder what it would feel like to be back at sea level. I miss the salty air!

[FullArmor]

Originally Posted by intrinsiknergy

I moved here from the east coast over two years ago. I didn't come here because I was inspired by the mountains or the outdoor lifestyle like so many others seem to suggest. I didn't have some ideal fantasy about Colorado. I literally had no place else to go after a divorce. I knew CO was going to be different, but I thought over time I would adjust, make some friends, and maybe even one day start dating again. None of that has happened. I don't seem to click with anyone. And when I do meet someone I think could be a potential friend, I'm often blown off very quickly. I've never felt more undervalued, overlooked and disregarded. It's gotten to the point where I have just stopped trying to be social all together. I'm starting to not see a future here. Apparently, everyone in Colorado already has all the friends they need. Has anyone else struggled to find a sense of belonging here? Do I need more time, or is it time to move on?

Maybe try looking online for meetup groups for activities you enjoy? Get involved in some type of local volunteering?

I feel your pain as I'm in a similar situation myself. I really do wish you the best of luck!

[MountainEarth]

Maybe it's just not your place. We've had several friends over the years return home to places like NC, NH, WI, MN because they just didn't click with Colorado. There's no shame in it. It's just not everybody's "cup of tea." Best of luck OP.

[Pilot1]

I moved to Denver from Philly where I lived all my life, so it was an adjustment also. However, I was married at the time, and we quickly made friends with our neighbors, who were much more friendly than our neighbors back in the Philly burbs.


We also met people through off roading, as I have a Jeep and we took advantage of Colorado's great trail network. So I guess my advice is to start doing things you like. Hiking, biking, off roading, skiing, camping, hunting/fishing, photography, etc. CO has so much to offer for outdoor activities. There are clubs you can join surrounding almost any activity in which you are interested.