Des Moines Attitude (island, state, better)

[tollfree]

The older generation is quite a bit friendlier than younger.

[Meemur]

True. We don't know all the places the OP was. I found Clive wasn't overly friendly my first two days (I was staying out at the Super 8) but that was Motel Row, and I figured most people were busy or worn out. But later I went to the library in Clive and people were friendly and helpful, and that's a generalization. Obviously, I didn't meet all of them.

I was just reading about the crash this morning where a driver hit a bridge post under Fleur Drive. Two motorists stopped to try to pull him out of the burning car! That's really dangerous. But they stopped. That reinforces Manic77's comment.

This is the sort of thing that makes me very happy to be here. I can easily ignore someone in a hurry during rush or a rude comment. No place is perfect. I'm not always an angel, either.

The older generation is quite a bit friendlier than younger.

That could be! I don't have that many folks around me under 38 or so these days.

[Xander_Crews]

Growing up in Iowa, I never noticed anything like this at all. I didn't know anyone who carried hand sanitizer with them, let alone using it after handshakes...

Also, Everybody waved at everybody all the time, no exceptions. If you drove by someone and didn't wave, they would literally wonder what they did wrong to not get "the wave". I found this carried over to other activities as well.

I am good looking, so that may have something to do with it, but every time I smiled and greeted someone, they returned in kind.

I was actively surprised by the OP, I was expecting to read about how outgoing and friendly the place is... Some comments threw me as well. When I lived there, I found it ridiculously easy to make friends... Many occasions I would meet someone, end up partying with them all night, and had the situation turn into lasting friendships. I met most of my best friends from engaging random strangers.

It is amazing how people can have such opposing experience.

[maniac77]

Originally Posted by RonnieJonez

The older generation is quite a bit friendlier than younger.

This is very true. It's usually the older folks who say "hi", smile, or nod when I'm walking on the trail. The younger people usually are listening to music, are in their own virtual worlds, and are out to exercise and not socialize. Occasionally a younger person might give me a nod while driving by in a car, but most of the times it's older folks who are the friendly ones in my experience.

This non-acknowledgement of strangers isn't unique to Des Moines though. This is obviously a generalization, but it seems to me that because young people are constantly playing with their phones and ignoring the ones they're with that it has become only natural for them to shut strangers out of their worlds.

Des Moines is definitely serious, reserved, and "live and let live", but I think the lack of friendliness can be attributed mostly to our nation's culture of ignorance where people are more connected than ever via technology and can accept or reject what they will allow into their lives. Of course, maybe it is different regionally and younger people are more friendly down south or elsewhere.For Des Moines, I wouldn't characterize it as a cold or warm place. It's somewhere in between depending on the day, the people you come across, and where you are in the metro area.

[atler8]

Frankly looking at the decades at when I was a child & then an adolescent & then a young adult growing up in Iowa, I feel that my recollections tell me that back then the older folks generally were friendlier & more outgoing than the younger folks. If that is the case yet today, then it could just be a reflection of behavioral differences between younger & older people & something that is the norm and has been for some time.

[Xander_Crews]

Again, I am amazed.

My experience growing up there, the older folks were nice, but the younger generations were VERY outgoing and friendly. I am not saying you guys are wrong, I am just saying I grew up in the same area and had the exact opposite experience.

Again, many of the friends I have today were strangers until I randomly engaged them at a bar, party, park, concert, etc... I had not problem approaching strangers of the same age range and being very successful making long-term friends that way.

It always seemed to me like people were very excited to meet and make new friends. Again, I am a confident, attractive guy... but this wasn't limited to women.

[atler8]

I think that there is a little bit of a situational difference in dynamics at work here in the expressed viewpoints & nothing particularly amazing. Indeed, nobody is wrong here.
When I wrote about older folks being more friendly than younger folks back when I was a kid, I was referring to situations where the generations mixed & interacted between each other in public settings. I did include the word "outgoing" also as a tipoff to my intended meaning.
It was normal for the kids & adolescents to more or less be in the frame of mind that they were to be shy & somewhat respectful & following the adult-directed conversational lead when in the company of adults, especially strangers.
When amongst each other though, as in situations of kids with kids & adolescents with adolescents, that dynamic was/is out the window. I suspect that to some degre this is still the case today.
But the result, say in a store or in an on the street setting of interaction between the generations would thus have been an "appearance" that the adults were more friendly while the yonger people were more reserved which in reality could have largely been explained by their innate respectfulness, shyness or even reticence; qualities that are so painfully evident with many teen agers in particular.

[folkguitarist555]

I spent time in Des Moines, met some nice people, overall though....very reserved, like many other places in the USA...these days.....we are seemingly heading in that kid of direction nationwide..imo

[duster1979]

The OP should just thank his lucky stars that they didn't tell him they were going to the store.

[tollfree]

^ Waiting for his yearly high-fives from the same 5 members.

It's not surprising, you have to expect such mentality in a state like Iowa. Make a statement the tribe doesn't like (but is obviously true), the tribe will turn it into their inside joke - therefore strengthening the tribe, lol.