What do you do if you're hungry but you've had "enough"?

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by riaelise

How do you know that “most people aren’t obsessive”? I respect you And your posts Kathryn but I find that somewhat insulting, as if I’m some outlier or extreme. I absolutely am not. I never fixated or obsessed about anything before until I started dieting and I’m not alone either . I’m just someone who has the guts to admit it and not paint everything starbursts and rainbows. You don’t start out obsessive it becomes that way over time. You don’t have to defend your daily weigh in. I’m just throwing out another viewpoint. And you know the neurosis all started with nipping things in the bud and cutting just because there’s an extra lb. or two.

One more thing, my husband nearly quit because of the dumb scale. He would get on it daily and if he didn’t go down each and every single day he felt defeated. There are many who are just like him. Meanwhile when he looked over his progress fromweek to week he was actually losing two lbs a week. And my exercise passion has nothing to do with obsession. I have a new lease on life, I kick butt and I’m in the best shape of my life, and that’s a pretty potent drug. All thanks to grinding it out at the gym. I regret wasting my thirties sitting on my butt but it’s obviously never toolate

I don't think most people are obsessive, because if most people were, it would be considered normal to be obsessive, instead of - well, obsessive.

You are the one who stated that you became fixated (some would call that obsessed) with weighing several times a day. I didn't accuse you of bizarre, outlier behavior, but honestly (and you like honesty, right, especially about weight issues) that does seem extreme to me. But maybe I'm the outlier because in spite of weighing every morning, I have never found myself weighing throughout the day and worrying about gaining half a pound one way or the other.

I based my observations and comments on your words, not my imagination. After all, you did say this:

I "officially" weighed weekly when I was actively losing but found myself weighing myself multiple times daily. Then it became an obsession, which wasn't healthy.

There's a dark side, pyschologically, to dieting that many just don't want to talk about. I'm saying this from my own experience. Over the course of my dieting, I had to deal with a number of mental issues that I had never seen or experienced before. And it all started with that scale.

The scale has turned me into a neurotic mess and I'd like to think of myself now in recovery.

I don't think your exercise routine or interest is obsessive and never said that or meant to imply that, by the way. I commend you on your weight loss and have said repeatedly that if your program works for you, more power to you. I mean that sincerely.

I am on a weight loss program that is very effective and I am part of a large group of people nationwide who are following this plan, losing weight, and part of this plan is weighing daily and recording that weight. So lots and lots of people CAN weigh every day without getting overly fixated on gaining half a pound or wanting to throw in the towel when they're losing each week overall. Like I've said before, if it works for you, do it - if it doesn't, don't do it. At the end of the day, most people don't lose weight and keep it off, but a few do, and their methods often differ tremendously.

Personally I've never experienced "the dark side of dieting" or any sort of dark or obsessive behavior or tendencies when losing weight. I've had to lose a chunk two times in my life - once before about fifteen years ago after two years of serious health issues and subsequent weight gain of about fifty pounds, and now (after surgery on both ankles and three of our four parents getting sick and dying, and then having to handle all the estate stuff and my mom with dementia all within a three year period). Other than these two pretty isolated periods in my life - when I KNEW I was "comfort eating" but was too distressed to get a grip on it, my weight has been steady and healthy and I've never once gotten obsessed with a number on a scale - though I freely admit to wanting pretty badly to wear a size 10 or 12 again (just bought a pair of size 12 pants yesterday in fact, but I think surely they must run a bit big), which is what I've worn since high school.

I really appreciate your openness but please don't be open and frank and then react defensively when I join the discussion. I actually empathize with folks who struggle with eating issues because of my daughter's bulimia as well as my own efforts (some misguided in the past) trying to deal with impatience over losing weight after my head is "in the right place" but my body has thirty, or fifty, extra pounds on it! I am not criticizing you - I thought we were just discussing various struggles.

Personally my own struggle was letting go of counting calories and sticking instead to simply eliminating categories of food and then just taking that leap of faith. I thought I couldn't possibly do it. But I did it. I'm amazed and I'm also really glad that my husband is proud of me - which he genuinely is. Just to prove that different approaches work for different people, in spite of him NOT following my plan - but simply cutting back a bit on everything - he has lost over 20 pounds in the same amount of time I've lost 29. I'm proud of him too because he travels a lot and it's more challenging for him in that regard.

[Luckyd609]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Is 1500 calories enough for a normal adult?

I thought it was 2200.

Its not one size fits all. Men and women differ, and how big we are factors in. I like to stay right around 1500. When I need to lose a few pounds I am somewhere between 1300 and 1600, on any given day. I like to bank up my calorie limit so I can splurge a little.

[Cindi Waters]

Originally Posted by HomeIsWhere...

A handful of pistachios and/or a small 'chunk' of real cheese along with a chaser of ice cold water. It does the trick for me.

Thanks for the suggestion about cheese. I forgot that a boiled egg also keeps the hungries away from me.

[riaelise]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

I don't think most people are obsessive, because if most people were, it would be considered normal to be obsessive, instead of - well, obsessive.

You are the one who stated that you became fixated (some would call that obsessed) with weighing several times a day. I didn't accuse you of bizarre, outlier behavior, but honestly (and you like honesty, right, especially about weight issues) that does seem extreme to me. But maybe I'm the outlier because in spite of weighing every morning, I have never found myself weighing throughout the day and worrying about gaining half a pound one way or the other.

I based my observations and comments on your words, not my imagination. After all, you did say this:







I don't think your exercise routine or interest is obsessive and never said that or meant to imply that, by the way. I commend you on your weight loss and have said repeatedly that if your program works for you, more power to you. I mean that sincerely.

I am on a weight loss program that is very effective and I am part of a large group of people nationwide who are following this plan, losing weight, and part of this plan is weighing daily and recording that weight. So lots and lots of people CAN weigh every day without getting overly fixated on gaining half a pound or wanting to throw in the towel when they're losing each week overall. Like I've said before, if it works for you, do it - if it doesn't, don't do it. At the end of the day, most people don't lose weight and keep it off, but a few do, and their methods often differ tremendously.

Personally I've never experienced "the dark side of dieting" or any sort of dark or obsessive behavior or tendencies when losing weight. I've had to lose a chunk two times in my life - once before about fifteen years ago after two years of serious health issues and subsequent weight gain of about fifty pounds, and now (after surgery on both ankles and three of our four parents getting sick and dying, and then having to handle all the estate stuff and my mom with dementia all within a three year period). Other than these two pretty isolated periods in my life - when I KNEW I was "comfort eating" but was too distressed to get a grip on it, my weight has been steady and healthy and I've never once gotten obsessed with a number on a scale - though I freely admit to wanting pretty badly to wear a size 10 or 12 again (just bought a pair of size 12 pants yesterday in fact, but I think surely they must run a bit big), which is what I've worn since high school.

I really appreciate your openness but please don't be open and frank and then react defensively when I join the discussion. I actually empathize with folks who struggle with eating issues because of my daughter's bulimia as well as my own efforts (some misguided in the past) trying to deal with impatience over losing weight after my head is "in the right place" but my body has thirty, or fifty, extra pounds on it! I am not criticizing you - I thought we were just discussing various struggles.

Personally my own struggle was letting go of counting calories and sticking instead to simply eliminating categories of food and then just taking that leap of faith. I thought I couldn't possibly do it. But I did it. I'm amazed and I'm also really glad that my husband is proud of me - which he genuinely is. Just to prove that different approaches work for different people, in spite of him NOT following my plan - but simply cutting back a bit on everything - he has lost over 20 pounds in the same amount of time I've lost 29. I'm proud of him too because he travels a lot and it's more challenging for him in that regard.

I was defensive there. hormones I tell you.

Anyway, I was a thin child and a thin adult. Got pregnant twice and from then on - ten years to be exact - I struggled with a weight problem that I never thought I could solve. As you said though, my head was in the right place but my body wasn't. I was actually fat and happy. I didn't obsess over weight, maybe it was because I flat out gave up. I was never going to get into my old clothes again (I was a size 6 when I got married), I was never going to be active. My eating habits went to total crap and I wish that I could pin it on too much bread consumption. I don't quit easily but once I put on 70 lbs, you reach a point where you just don't care. But deep down inside, you do, maybe just a little bit. As many people know here, health problems ended up being the swift kick in the pants that I needed to get into gear and once the wheels were set to motion, I was propelled forward. And I never stopped. And then I found myself actually back to the days when I was never overweight. After ten years of carrying around so much weight I couldn't believe that it was gone and it wasn't because I was sick. Overall things went pretty smoothly (thanks to exercise) but I did start noticing some obsessive behavior that never existed. It really started happening the moment I hit my lowest weight and I was able to fit into single digit clothing again. Maybe it's because I feared going back to the way I was. I don't know. I searched online and found that I wasn't alone and that dieting can trigger some not so pleasant things in susceptible people. I do know that I suffer from binge-eating, something that did my in during my previous forays into weight loss, hence why i do not eliminate things as that triggers day long binges. Losing the weight was just one part of a puzzle, I realize. I'm trying to get myself back into the right place mentally. Don't get me wrong, I'm ok and enjoy life every much but I'm just acknowledging a reality. So I've taken away the one thing that kept my obsession going - the scale. Now I'm trying to figure out learning how to eat more. I'm so used to eating less calories and truth is it's not enough. At my fitness evaluation today, the trainer chided me for not eating enough food. The thought of me eating over 2000 calories a day scares me, but if I don't I won't get the strength gains that I desire.

I'm truly happy for you though. It's a wonderful feeling I tell you and however you got there, my hat's off to you!

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by riaelise

I was defensive there. hormones I tell you.

Anyway, I was a thin child and a thin adult. Got pregnant twice and from then on - ten years to be exact - I struggled with a weight problem that I never thought I could solve. As you said though, my head was in the right place but my body wasn't. I was actually fat and happy. I didn't obsess over weight, maybe it was because I flat out gave up. I was never going to get into my old clothes again (I was a size 6 when I got married), I was never going to be active. My eating habits went to total crap and I wish that I could pin it on too much bread consumption. I don't quit easily but once I put on 70 lbs, you reach a point where you just don't care. But deep down inside, you do, maybe just a little bit. As many people know here, health problems ended up being the swift kick in the pants that I needed to get into gear and once the wheels were set to motion, I was propelled forward. And I never stopped. And then I found myself actually back to the days when I was never overweight. After ten years of carrying around so much weight I couldn't believe that it was gone and it wasn't because I was sick. Overall things went pretty smoothly (thanks to exercise) but I did start noticing some obsessive behavior that never existed. It really started happening the moment I hit my lowest weight and I was able to fit into single digit clothing again. Maybe it's because I feared going back to the way I was. I don't know. I searched online and found that I wasn't alone and that dieting can trigger some not so pleasant things in susceptible people. I do know that I suffer from binge-eating, something that did my in during my previous forays into weight loss, hence why i do not eliminate things as that triggers day long binges. Losing the weight was just one part of a puzzle, I realize. I'm trying to get myself back into the right place mentally. Don't get me wrong, I'm ok and enjoy life every much but I'm just acknowledging a reality. So I've taken away the one thing that kept my obsession going - the scale. Now I'm trying to figure out learning how to eat more. I'm so used to eating less calories and truth is it's not enough. At my fitness evaluation today, the trainer chided me for not eating enough food. The thought of me eating over 2000 calories a day scares me, but if I don't I won't get the strength gains that I desire.

I'm truly happy for you though. It's a wonderful feeling I tell you and however you got there, my hat's off to you!

And my hat is off to you too, for conquering the weight issue and regaining your health! 70 pounds is a huge chunk of weight to lose and will totally change your self image - in both directions!

One thing I've noticed after losing only 30 pounds is that I "see" myself mentally as chunky. I constantly pick out the wrong size of clothes to try on in a store. I can't "BELIEVE" it when I buy smaller clothes.

I understand totally the feeling of being scared to eat too much food though. I mean, I am still in the weight loss phase because I have more weight to lose - fifteen more pounds for sure and who knows, I might lose more after that - I mean, I will be within my ideal weight range at 15 fewer pounds but at the upper end and I might keep going. But honestly, I do tend to lose motivation for several reasons - 1) my husband loves curves, and 2) I look and feel good at that upper weight, and 3) my best friends tell me my face and bone structure looks good and healthy at that weight.

But like you said, it's going to be scary upping the food amount at that time. I'm so used to success. But one key I think would be NOT weighing every day at that point. We'll see.

Meanwhile I still have a bit to go.