Advice for nervous dog? (how much, lab, golden retriever, bite)
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I have a dog that I've had for six years now. I got him at about 4 months of age. He was nervous and scared then and it has continued to worsen as he gets older. He is from a rescue organization in another city and was in a loving foster home the first months of his life. I know that he has never been neglected or abused or mistreated in anyway; this is just his disposition.
He never acted agressively, but he was very shy and nervous. Last year, he bit one of my child's friends in the cheek; it wasn't a continued attack, but a warning bite that did more than break the skin. The child had to have quite a lot of stitches. This child was not new to my home; he has been coming around and spending a lot of time at my house the entire time we've had the dog. I care quite a lot of this child and the incident was devastating. Needless to say, my kids don't have friends over any more. No rainy afternoons in doors and no sleepovers. It's severely affecting their quality of life.
The dog is very obedient otherwise and very, very bright. He learns tricks in seconds and remembers commands always. However, I cannot get over the bite and the aggression. We used to have a lot of visitors and made every attempt to socialize him. (He's not my first dog; he's the first nervous one though and the first biter- I've always had very social pets.)
I would never give him away without disclosing his bite history and nervous nature as well as the increasing aggression.
As much as I hate to do it, I have considered euthanizing him. The dog is not really getting a lot of joy out of life, being so scared and anxious all the time. (Right now, he's hiding behind boxes in my closet. It's quiet day around here. No noise, no conflict. Nothing strange.) And we as a family are not getting any joy out of owning him. Our humane society will not take him with his history and the pound doesn't seem a humane option, if they'd take him, as he'd be caged for weeks before being euthanized. I'd like him not to suffer. I do love him, but quality of life is important. The vet says He's just a nervous dog. That's all. Some of them are.
My husband refused to go this route and insists that we find someone to take the dog- it's been a year! And I've been looking. He is a golden retriever lab mix - beautiful dog, but just too nervous. The history scares people away. And making a decision on what to do is a constant source of conflict between me and my husband. I feel like it's just a matter of time before someone else is hurt.
What do you think my options are? I've never had to deal with anything like this.
If you can afford it and they are near you, I used www.BarkBusters.com to help with a young pit bull I adopted. It cost $500 but they come back for the life of the dog. My first visit was about 2.5 hrs and I had several follow-ups to make sure things were going right. I don't know if they can help you with your situation but my disobediant, somewhat possessive dog is much better.
Otherwise, I think a crate would do wonders for him. Dogs like the feeling of safety they get in a crate. I used to keep mine in the breakfast room but my current house doesn't have one, so it's in the foyer. Mine go sleep in it during the day. I use it whenever people are over b/c I have 3 large dogs and it can be scary to some - even though the dogs are friendly. They are too friendly, really.
Wow, S.Belle. That is a great price for the life of the dog.
He was a stray that was adopted out, then showed up back on the shelter's doorstep. Seems the adoptive family gave him to a friend who then left town. I felt so sorry for him! He was clearly loved and treated well in his unknown first home as he is just a sweet lovebug, house-broken and had house manners. But a few bad habits. I thought he was worth it. Come to think of it, that was the price for also working with another of my dogs who needed a little tune-up. So maybe $400 for the first dog? It's been 2 yrs so I can't remember all the details.
FWIW, I agree w/ the crate - would feed him in first so he comes to like it - he'll prob. come to think of it as his 'den' or safe place, there's no reason he has to be out and about when you have company. Would put it in another room away in a quiet place, from the kids and give him a special treat when he goes in it.
Prob. socializing him when he was younger w/h been very helpful, as young puppies, they need confidence, one of my own was very unsure of herself, never abused but just a nervous dog, obedience school helped (we went w/ her), she was never thrilled to go but it helped for them to see her in action and overall, it did help her a lot (they saw us in action and would give us little tips), not sure who was happier when she 'graduated', her or us, LOL. She never went after anyone but was uncomfortable around kids (who are unpredictable) and we could see it happening, it was just her personality (her full sister was very laid back and easy going as a young puppy), anyway she took to her crate and it was a perfection solution. While walking her on a leash, she was fine w/ strange kids and people (is fine if they pet her a few times but we generally would keep her moving) but tended to avoid them if she could (where's my crate - ?! LOL).
I'm not a vet or behaviorist, but had a dog with severe fear aggression. From what you have said, it sounds like that's what your dog may have, too. With my dog, we believe it was genetic to a large part. It involved biting among other things, but extreme fear reactions to certain things.
It is very difficult to fix, if it's possible at all. I spent a lot of time and $ on behavior, and her prognosis was poor. It got to the point where I couldn't have anyone in my house unless I boarded her.
The last thing I wanted for her was to be rehomed and have the new owners decide she was a problem and either pass her along to another family or take her to the pound. I never wanted her to feel abandoned or experience more fear by being in a new place with people who would hurt her or pass her along from home to home.
At six years of age, IF HER ISSUE IS FEAR AGGRESSION, it may be possible to desensitize her, But I, for one, would absolutely understand why you would choose to have her euthanized. You also have a right to a quality life, and I know how much stress and anxiety having a biting dog in your home can cause.
He actually doesn't mind a crate, but I can't always anticipate when someone will come over. He does rush the door and spit and snarl at it when someone knocks. We did socialise as a young dog and even when he got older; however, it makes him so miserable and his nervous nature makes other people nervous too. He's a very big dog. I also can't lock him in a crate for a whole day while my sons have friends sleeping over. (And that's a huge deal in the preteen years!)
Thank you for all of your comments and suggestions and well wishes.
I feel like it's just a matter of time before someone else is hurt.
Unless you do something proactive to address the situation; yes, it is only a matter of time before he bites again.
You have to understand something from a canine perspective and that is this: biting works. It is a brilliant way of getting rid of something unwanted - of making that something go away. It's impossible to know without having witnessed it, but I suspect the immediate human reactions after the cheek bite incident got the dog exactly what the dog wanted - ie, removal of the child.
Your dog might be fine/a lot better in a quite, routinised adult-only household. However, and in the meantime, to save everyone's sanity, there are some immediate, practical steps you can take: as others have posted, crate the dog during "visiting hours" or if visiting hours are going to go on for some time, shut the dog in - for example - your bedroom; a room into which children &/or their friends have no need of access. The quieter and more removed this room is from the hubbub, the better.
You make it sound as if you think crating/removal is somehow unfair to the dog - ie, "you can't crate a dog the whole day." No, you shouldn't crate the dog the whole day, but there's no earthly reason the dog can't be taken out on a lead away from children and then returned to his crate. It's not ideal, but it's only for a day and just by virtue of logistics, if you prevent interaction between dog and children, you remove any possibility of another biting incident.
For a nervous dog, the quieter and further removed the dog is from the maddening crowd, the better. The dog won't mind being crated if the crate is somewhere nice and quiet with no traffic. He'll have far less to be nervous about.
No, you can't always anticipate when someone will come over, but when they do, merely ask them to hang on a sec while you put the dog away. It's not beyond human capabilities.
A behaviourist is the next step if you can afford it. You need a professional to assess this situation as and when it's happening. There are many subtle communication signals the dog will be sending, which you may be missing - if you learn to "read" the dog better, you should be able to better anticipate what may send him over the edge.
It would be interesting to see how the dog reacts to being in a crate when he is in a fearful or nervous state, i.e., does it calm him or is he inconsolable? I found that crating a dog who is fearful makes it worse when the thing the dog fears persists.
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