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Kona has a mass in her anal gland. In a few minutes, we're off to the vet for a "punch biopsy" and will have results next week.
If benign, we will have her anal gland removed and if we're lucky, she'll be with us for a few more years.
If malignant...wow. While she is 11, she is still so happy and has only now started slowing down.
The thing is we may not have options. The mass is clearly irritating her yet if it's malignant, anal gland carcinoma is apparently a very aggressive cancer so while we could have the gland removed it may only buy her a little time. And that time comes at a cost. There are possible complications from the surgery and we would take them if the trade-off is a few more years with her. But if it's only a matter of adding a few months, I can't justify doing that to her. She has not suffered a day in her life, why start now?
On the other hand, I am NOT ready and other than this irritation in her bowel area, SHE is not ready. If it's cancer, then obviously mother nature feels otherwise.
This is really hitting me hard because I've done my best to prime her for a loong life....exercise, good food, lots of love, vet care, etc. I was looking forward to slow, gentle walks with her a few years from now. Not fair!
But I can't help but think that's subjecting her to any significant suffering in her later years is not fair to her.
Thanks for "listening." If anyone has any been-there-done-that OR what would you do stories, I could really use them right now.
Will be thinking of you and Kona today and hoping for the best possible outcome. I know you said you won't have results til next week, but when you find out please keep us posted. I am 100% sure that no matter what you will make the absolute best decisions for her. Sending you love and positive thoughts.
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
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I ditto what k9coach said ^^ here.
While I haven't had the experience you and Kona are now encountering, I made a decision for Artie when he turned 9 last October. (Actually, I think he's a bit older -- I just found some original neuter paperwork, from long before I knew him, and so I think that he's already 10 and not waiting for this October to turn a two-digit age.)
Anyway... the decision:
I won't put him through anything: no surgeries, no battery of tests that could lead to surgery being required, no medications that will have icky side effects. I will do nothing to him that I wouldn't want done to me. When he's old and tired and "had enough" -- but before he's suffering from pain -- I will... release him. I made him the promise, after his childhood of abuse, that all of his years with me will be in joy. So, when his joy stops... well, you know the rest.
No, Atina, it is not fair. I have thought long and hard about whether this "knowing" and being forced to make a decision is any less excruciating then having a death come without warning. Both those scenarios are equally gut wrenching and I don't envy you. I have no doubt that your loving care these past 11 years have indeed prolonged her life but the truth is, there is just never enough time with our pets.
I believe my responsibility to my pets in repayment for their love and companionship is not to let them suffer and to make those hard decisions - no matter how painful. I don't think anyone can help with that decision because as pet owners, I think we are the only ones that know deep down what is best for them.
I had a 12 year old dog that had her spleen rupture due to a tumor. The ER doctor wanted to put her down and save her pain and suffering when it was a certainty that the cancer would sooner or later show up elsewhere in her body. He gave her 6 to 12 months to live, but like you, I just was not ready and I did not think she was either. I vowed to make those last months the best possible, knowing that the next sign of illness would be the last.
She healed and lived another , very pampered 5 years before she developed an esophageal tumor. It was not easy, but I knew that was her time to go.
My advice to you is to take once step at a time and as hard as it may seem, put her welfare first. We are all sending good thoughts!
Yes talloolla, I had inbred cats who were brothers and had severe heart disease, and died very young. One I walked upstairs and there he was - he had *just* died. The other I had to have euthanized at the vet a little over a year later. I'd be hard pressed to describe one as worse than the other.
I wish you and your little companion well, atina and hope for the best possible outcome for you.
Wow---thank you all for your posts. They REALLY help.
I'm back from dropping her off. Poor girl, the only other time I had to leave her at the vet was when she was spayed as a puppy. So weird to see her in one of those cages.
Dawn, I love your promise to Artie---esp the bit about not doing anything to him that you wouldn't want done to you. What kills me here is that while she's 11, she still doesn't act old and she has not "had enough"...but she's in discomfort now which will eventually become pain. Given that the option to lessen that discomfort/pain is surgery, we will most likely release her before she suffers. But then I see that she still wants to go for walks and play ball with me. Aargh!
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atina33
Dawn, I love your promise to Artie---esp the bit about not doing anything to him that you wouldn't want done to you. What kills me here is that while she's 11, she still doesn't act old and she has not "had enough"...but she's in discomfort now which will eventually become pain. Given that the option to lessen that discomfort/pain is surgery, we will most likely release her before she suffers. But then I see that she still wants to go for walks and play ball with me. Aargh!
That's my biggest fear, Atina, not knowing if wanting to walk and play ball means that they're not suffering. Dogs are the most stoic people, we're told. But I'm guessing that Artie will "tell" me -- in *some* way -- when he's done. I'm also guessing that Kona will do the same -- she'll "tell' you.. somehow.
Ohhhh, I just tear up when I read these posts! Atina -- I am praying the mass is benign. It's too soon for Kona to leave you. It is still too soon for me not to cry when I read about situations like yours. Please know there are friends who worry with you, ache with you as you wait, and grieve with you in the worst of times.
But it is premature to grieve!! There is every chance Kona will have a good outcome. Hugs, hugs and more hugs!
No, Atina, it is not fair. I have thought long and hard about whether this "knowing" and being forced to make a decision is any less excruciating then having a death come without warning. Both those scenarios are equally gut wrenching and I don't envy you. I have no doubt that your loving care these past 11 years have indeed prolonged her life but the truth is, there is just never enough time with our pets.
I believe my responsibility to my pets in repayment for their love and companionship is not to let them suffer and to make those hard decisions - no matter how painful. I don't think anyone can help with that decision because as pet owners, I think we are the only ones that know deep down what is best for them.
I had a 12 year old dog that had her spleen rupture due to a tumor. The ER doctor wanted to put her down and save her pain and suffering when it was a certainty that the cancer would sooner or later show up elsewhere in her body. He gave her 6 to 12 months to live, but like you, I just was not ready and I did not think she was either. I vowed to make those last months the best possible, knowing that the next sign of illness would be the last.
She healed and lived another , very pampered 5 years before she developed an esophageal tumor. It was not easy, but I knew that was her time to go.
My advice to you is to take once step at a time and as hard as it may seem, put her welfare first. We are all sending good thoughts!
Thanks for sharing that, Talloolla. It's beautiful. There is just no explaining the spiritual bond between our pets and us, but then, there is no need to explain it. We just need to know it exists and to respect it.
atina, such a hard place to be in, hoping for a positive report.
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