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My moms boxer passed away this morning, and she had her for around 13 years. She had been recently sick, and had gone blind and deaf, so it was almost a relief that she went when she did.
My mother is saying that she does not want any more animals, however her dog kind of kept her safe from bad guys (both 2 legs and 4 legs) for a number of years, she even got into with a pack of foxes to protect her yard-
Should I respect her wishes and let it go? My brother and I were thinking of getting her a young adult rottweiler/mix or german Shepard/mix from the pound that didn't have the youthful puppy energy, and would not be to much to handle and had at least some socialization- or should I respect her wishes and just leave it alone?
Her and that dog were more than owner/dog, and I know she is going to be lonely with her now gone-
I understand that you're worried about your mom. But it is always a bad idea to give a person a dog for any reason, even more so when they've stated they don't want one. And this just happened this morning! She needs time to grieve. With time, maybe she'll come to want another dog on her own. This could happen in a couple of weeks, or a couple of years. It's not fair to a dog or to her to push one on her.
Also, I'm not sure how old your mom is, but even a slightly older shepherd or rottie mix may be too much for her. Maybe not, but when/if the time comes, she needs to pick out her own dog. An "arranged" adoption isn't much better than an arranged marriage, imo.
Again, I appreciate that you and your brother are concerned about her, and trying to be good sons. But for now, maybe look into a Life Alert program or security system, if you want to help keep her safe. Let the dog decision be all hers.
It's wayyyy too soon for you to be considering getting another dog for your mother. Give her time. See how she feels. Ultimately it is HER choice, but right now she needs to grieve the loss of her boxer.
I think you should let her grieve for her boxer for a while before even considering getting her another dog. She will let you know when she's ready.
Her saying "no more animals, ever" may be just a knee-jerk reaction to losing the dog she has loved for so many years. But she may actually not want a new dog, certainly not immediately.
So, yeah, I think you should respect her wishes and let it go.
Thanks for the input- One more question, in regards to disposing of her dog, I just left her house (mom is 74 btw) and she is refusing to allow me or my brother to move the dog from where she passed in her garden-
Her and the dog would always come out there and work in the garden together, however I don't think this could be healthy (mentally or hygenically) to have her deceased dog in the middle of the garden.
My brother just called me and told me that he saw buzzards/vultures starting to hover, and the temp today is supposed to hit around 97--
I'm not just trying to grab the dog and throw her in a dumpster, but I suggested digging her a grave in the woods (right behind her house in walking distance) to which she refused, and also to taking her to the vet and having her humanley disposed of, to which she also refused-
Her vet ( I never liked this guy) seems like a hustler, and I know if he gets in her ear he might try and hustle her for a "proper" burial, and my mom is on a fixed income, and I bet that would be expensive-
Any more toughts? I think she is just having a hard time facing that her dog has passed?
That's very tough. It's not as easy to answer as your other question! I'm sure her grief is very strong right now, but given the weather and vultures... maybe you could work bit by bit, first getting her to let you cover the dog in a sheet, then maybe moving it to a better location, until you can get her to think more rationally about it. I don't know what your local regulations are, and digging a hole for a boxer in intense heat might not be possible for you. She may not be ready to have animal control come and pick up the body for disposal for a long time. If you look up pet cemeteries in your local directory, you may find one that will cremate her dog for a reasonable cost, certainly less than the vet will charge.
Maybe your brother and you could plant a tree if there's room, or some nice flowers or a shrub if not, as a little memorial.
If your mom is 74, please do not get her a big dog like a Rottie if she agrees to another pet. She should have a smaller dog that will bark as needed. The UPS man was terrified of my sheltie when I was a kid, for example, simply because her barking was so fierce. She was the gentlest animal you would ever want to know and was very appropriate around my grandmother, who was in her 70s. You just couldn't expect to pass unnoticed onto her property.
My brother was able to move the dog at least out of the sun, and closer to his pick up truck where we are hoping to get her in it and take her to the vet- That actually took a lot of work and calming her down from my sister in law-
Hopefully the vet takes it easy on us for the disposal fees, a neighbor told me the county will come and get the dog, but it's based purely on their time, and that might not be until next week sometime-
My mom is feeling better about the whole thing now, and I guess it was just the shock of it all, I guess that is why we wanted to get her another dog kind of quickly so she wouldn't have to sit around and just dwell on her boxer passing-
Thanks again
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That's very tough. It's not as easy to answer as your other question! I'm sure her grief is very strong right now, but given the weather and vultures... maybe you could work bit by bit, first getting her to let you cover the dog in a sheet, then maybe moving it to a better location, until you can get her to think more rationally about it. I don't know what your local regulations are, and digging a hole for a boxer in intense heat might not be possible for you. She may not be ready to have animal control come and pick up the body for disposal for a long time. If you look up pet cemeteries in your local directory, you may find one that will cremate her dog for a reasonable cost, certainly less than the vet will charge.
