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That's a nice idea, put his toys in a nice box. And keeping his collars for sure. His sis has a vet that will come to your house and peacefully euthanize. I'd rather him be around people and smells he's familiar with, around love, snacks, laughter, etc. Even though he loves to ride in the car, I don't want him in a cold, strange vet office.
Pretty much all these decisions will be up to my bf, but I've grown attached to him also. But the pain my bf will feel will be heartbreaking. I've never been this close to someone who has had to put a pet to sleep.
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Originally Posted by Clark Fork Fantast
Don't throw it out, but don't leave it sitting out, either. Get a cardboard box or a plastic bin and put the toys in that, and put it in the garage/attic/wherever you store things you care about. The reminder will be sharp and painful for a long time, but then it will become softer, and he will be able to smile, seeing the toys. At that point he may want to keep one or two items and donate the rest.
Be sure to keep the dog's collar and tags. Somehow, being able to hold on to those, literally, clutch them in the days after the passing can be a very powerful comfort. We have the collars of our two departed darlings, First Dog and Sweetie, placed on top of their little cedar chests with their ashes.
You're saying that you will let your BF and family decide on the procedure, but they may be struggling to find the right path, too. So suggest to them (1) that the vet should come to your home, rather than take the dog to the vet. Some last-minute anxieties may be avoided, if the dog doesn't like the vet's office, and the dog gets to leave this world from the home he loves. And (2) there are cremation services--maybe also in your area--where they not only guarantee that you are getting your own pet's ashes back, in a little cedar box, but they also make a paw imprint, and save a little bit of fur from your pet. It can be a very soothing experience to receive those remains.
Tough days ahead for your BF --he's lucky he has you. And the pain of losing a pet for the first time can be surprisingly overwhelming. A recent study showed that the part of our brain that loves pets and grieves for them is the same part that we use for loving our human children, so it is no wonder that the emotions are so strong.
We have our dogs' ashes in boxes, in our china cabinet, in full view of anyone who walks by. Their collars are laid on top with their tags clearly visible. I have left instructions that when I die and am cremated, I want to be mixed in with Jimmy and Hallie.
My husband hasn't decided yet how he wants to be handled after he dies, so it might just be the dogs and me in one big box. We paid extra for the private cremations, so we're assured we only got their ashes.
I just ordered a memorial keychain for my bf, it's personalized with the dog's name and he can carry it wherever he goes. I've contacted a shelter about a memorial plaque they can display. I'm just wanting to have a few things in place. This still could be months down the road, but I want to be prepared. I'm picking up a nice decorative box for his toys, collars, etc.
quote=TinaMcG;38865482]We have our dogs' ashes in boxes, in our china cabinet, in full view of anyone who walks by. Their collars are laid on top with their tags clearly visible. I have left instructions that when I die and am cremated, I want to be mixed in with Jimmy and Hallie.
My husband hasn't decided yet how he wants to be handled after he dies, so it might just be the dogs and me in one big box. We paid extra for the private cremations, so we're assured we only got their ashes.[/quote]
We have our dogs' ashes in boxes, in our china cabinet, in full view of anyone who walks by. Their collars are laid on top with their tags clearly visible. I have left instructions that when I die and am cremated, I want to be mixed in with Jimmy and Hallie.
My husband hasn't decided yet how he wants to be handled after he dies, so it might just be the dogs and me in one big box. We paid extra for the private cremations, so we're assured we only got their ashes.
Hey you and I have the same plans but I want the ashes of all the dogs I have owned to be mixed with my ashes then spread at the beach.
Everyone deals with grief differently.
When I suddenly lost my dog in 2012, I was glad my parents and wife were all there by her side, but after that...I just wanted to be left alone, not to be asked to do anything or participate in anything (tough, bc it was mother's day), and just have someone help me autopilot... (give me food, take care of my son, etc) for the rest of the day.
I had to go to work the next night, so I slept all the next day, and again I was glad to not have to interact too much.
When my grandmother died, my mother wanted us all around.
Simply be there for him and support him. It is good that you understand that a pet is an important part of the family and not just a commodity that can easily be replaced. Its amazing how many unsympathetic/ignorant people there are out there.
As for the dogs toys, bed etc. Your bf will deal with these in his own time. Personally I prefer to either bin them or the newest ones and his favourites I thoroughly wash/disinfect and put them away so I am not seeing them on a daily basis, as the constant reminder for me, is too overwhelming.
For me the only difference in knowing the outcome is that we can make the animal as comfortable as possible and give the pet that bit extra TLC and love which is something you can't do when it happens suddenly. The pain of losing a well loved pet is no different whether you know it is imminent or sudden, you still question the outcome and the black heavy cloud still falls on you.
You will find your bf will open a door and expects to see his dog behind it, its an awful feeling when reality hits that your beloved friend is no longer there and the house is empty.
Any member will tell you no matter how many pets we lose, it never gets any easier.
My thoughts are with you all at this very difficult time, I hope your dog has little more time left with you.
Sportsfangirl, don't worry about finding the right thing to say to console your BF. Just be willing to listen to his stories and remembrances about his beloved pet, and be a kind shoulder to lean on. Just this past Tuesday, my husband and I unexpectedly lost our 10 year old Maltese, Spike. The grief for us both has been tough to face. Spike was a "daddy's boy" from the first day we got him as a three pound puppy. We have found solace in relaying stories about funny things Spike did, or fun times we had with him. And have even laughed about how after 10 years, we can finally leave the toilet paper on the tp holder. Spike would always unroll and eat tp, so for years we've had to sit the roll on the back of the toilet! It has also meant a lot to me that friends, family and acquaintenances have acknowledged his passing and his importance in our lives. Your BF is lucky to have an understanding GF like you.
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--he's lucky he has you. And the pain of losing a pet for the first time can be surprisingly overwhelming. A recent study showed that the part of our brain that loves pets and grieves for them is the same part that we use for loving our human children, so it is no wonder that the emotions are so strong.
