How Do You Prepare For the Loss Of Your Dog? (border collie, how much)

[msina]

We got Ceaser when he was five years old from a home health care worker. His owner was now hospitalized and would no longer be returning home. He had been neglected and abused by the womans son and was in poor shape. We have cared for him for eight years now. He has been the best dog I ever had! Recently he's had a bad rash, itching and chewing his paws. We have been through this many times with him. I took him to the Vet Friday. He's back on antibiotics, steroids and a topical treatment. We tried Atopica with only limited success (and it was very expensive). Okay,... He has recently started losing control of his bladder. The Vet said due to his age and the repeated steroids he may have kidney problems. He also has cataracts and lower back problems, he can't climb stairs anymore but, he's a Pekingnese (small) so we carry him up and down. I did discuss this with the Vet. He did say that if the steroids proved too much for him, we may want to think of what's best for him. I just can't bear to think what it would be like without him. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

I have been worrying about the same thing. My dog Cinders is 14 years old now. She is still doing well but for her breed (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) she is pretty old.

I have had her since she was 3 years old. She was purhased by someone and then taken back to the breeder who placed her with me. I got her the same month I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.

She has been through alot with me, everything from mothering my cats to riding shotgun on more car trips then I can count. She is the ideal side rider. She weighs only 10lbs, she was the runt of the litter.

I have been thinking about her getting older recently that I even had a nightmare about it the other night. I don't know what you can do to make it easier. I thought I was going to loose it when two of my cats died.

I think it can be helpful to talk with others who have been through it but some people don't want to talk about it. I have a girlfriend who recently lost her kitty Bill, she had since before she had her identical twins, in fact he adopted them when she was pregnant with them. Once they were born, he acted as if he was there babysitter, jumping into their basinet to purr them to sleep. She was a wreck when he passed away recently.

People who don't own animals don't understand how much a part of the family they become.

[Racelady88]

You know, it is never easy to say goodbye. For me, I find that being prepared with a plan for when the time comes helps a lot.

I try to give my animals a dignified ending, which to me does not involve the vet's office. I have a mobile vet that I use for euthanasia. I spend the last day doing something that my pet enjoys. My last dog got to spend her last day at the beach. She passed with a smile on her face. The crematorium was waiting for us when we got there.

There is something I find comforting about having a plan in place for an emotional thing like that.

I try to follow this rule: If my pet no longer is able to enjoy her favorite 3 things it is time to say goodbye.

I try to enjoy every moment I have with them because their lives are so short.

[elston]

Dear Msina,

I am so sorry that Ceasar is not doing well. It seems somehow the life span of dogs and people is cruely unfair. I have gone thru the loss of several dogs and the decision to have them put to sleep when it is the time, is never easy. When I moved to California I brought my beloved Hannah, with me. She and I stepped into each others lives at a time when both of us were in desperate need of someone to love and someone to love us. She was the most loving soul, I have ever known, unconditional love and gentleness. She was also very beautiful! Her mother had been a golden retvr and her father was probably a Brittany spaniel. She was a mixed breed but truthfully more beautiful than either--delicate and snowy white with lovely golden ears and a plume of a tail.

When Mom was in the nursing home Hannah would come with me and make the rounds of her ladies and gentlmen, going from room to room to look in on the patients. She brought a smile to so many just by quietly walking over to their bed or to sit beside them and put her head on their knee.

Hannah died, two years ago. I didnt have to make a decision. She saw the vet one day and had some blood work and then before the lab work came in she became noticably sick and non responsive over the course of a couple of hours. The vet said to bring her in and they could do "exploratory". I hung up the phone and knelt beside her and held her and told her that she was the best friend I could have ever asked for, I cried a little told her it was ok, to go on ahead, that she was a good girl. She shuddered and died.

I have a new dog, and love her and even sometimes think hannah is coaching her and telling her what she needs to do. She is a good girl and she definately needs me, as she is sorta foolish.

We go on, but there are some dogs and other pets, who move into our hearts and will stay there forever.

How do you prepare yourself? there is no way to lessen the ache but as with a person it helps to focus on the wonder of their being and what good times you shared. It helps to remember that you each did all you were able for one another and you need have no regrets. It also helps when the time comes to let Ceasar know that you will be ok and that he isnt letting you down or failing you, by dying. Sometimes it helps to give permission.

If I can ever be of any help, you know you can contact me. I will cry with you, and listen to the praises of Ceasar. Msina, know in your heart that you are such a loving and gentle person and have given all you can, when Ceasar has had enough, let him go. It will be alright.

I once anticipated I had about a year left with a pet, and chose to over lap and got a new dog, so I would never have to come home to an empty house; it did work for me, but it isn't everyones choice.

elston

[msina]

Thank You all so much for the encouraging words.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Originally Posted by msina

Thank You all so much for the encouraging words.

You know, I like animals better then I do most humans. Mine have me wrapped around their little paws.

[brightdoglover]

I have found that dealing with a dog's deterioration is the hardest part- knowing that the decision is sooner, not later, but you still have your pet. I found it helped to remember how the dog is in best health, and that the deterioration has taken away his comfort or dignity. Once I made the decision, I felt like I was being beaten with a bat until the actual euthanasia, and felt that way for a day or so, then what I'd call normal grieving set in. I do find the period of approaching the decision to be the most difficult.

I still drive past a meadow where my dog Kiko used to streak across like a Scottish border collie, and that his liver failure at age 11 took away his life and energy. With 15-year-old Powell, his increasing inability to walk (and messing his bed) took me longer, because he'd been abused and I got him at age 10, so I felt if he enjoyed anything, I'd keep him going. One day he fell, as he had been so much, and he looked so frightened, like an old person afraid of falling. He went to pick up his fleece toy, as he usually would, and it was so pathetic- the desire to do the normal thing, and being unable to do it. That did it for me with him, but the actual decision period was still very difficult.
Just know that it is the last way we take care of them. Best thoughts.

[Turtle]

This is the most difficult decision for any pet owner to make, but you just have to think about what's best for the pet. So often, we have clients that really believe that they are doing the right thing by keeping their pets alive through pain, inability to do anything, and no quality of life...I know this may sound harsh, but it's just selfish. We have had clients who's dog could not even get up to go outside to the bathroom, so they would be carried (I have seen this twice with big labs) they would be carried outside to spend their day in the the sun and nice weather, but couldn't do anything to truly enjoy it, and then they would have to be cleaned up because they would mess themselves while going to the bathroom and laying there in it. These people would call and want us to give them something to help, there was nothing we could do, it is just nature, so we would talk with the client and try to help them to understand that maybe it was time to do what was right for their pet. It's frustrating because we really do want to do what's best for the pet and you can't just come out and tell people that they are wrong and selfish. Even as "objective" 3rd parties, we still get emotional sometimes if it's a client or pet that we have gotten to know very well, even our vets tear up sometimes, but it's supposed to be sad and hard or it wouldn't be true love. Obviously I am not saying that as soon as a dog starts showing age deteriation that it's time, but just that as responsible pet owners, we need to know when it is time and have the understanding and caring to do what is right for our companions who have done so much for us. My older guy is 11 now and I do think about how our time may not be more than a couple of years, and I will be devastated when the time comes, but I will have to do right by him and care for him in a way that lets him go with dignity and happiness and he will know he was loved. He has been the absolute best dog, and we have been through so much and he has been the protector first of my husbands grandmother, and when she passed, we joked that he could finally retire, but he took his new post at my side, and when my husband is not around he is still my protector always looking out for me. I love him so much, but I know there will come a time when I have a decision to make and I have to be strong and do what's right for him.

[midnightbirdgirl]

God bless you and your dog...what a difficult decision.
What a blessing you have been to Ceaser, and he to you.
I have held onto this poem for years...maybe it will help?

A Dog's Plea

I remember bringing you home.
You were so small and cuddly
with your tiny paws and soft fur.
You bounced around the room
with your eyes flashing and ears flopping.
Once in a while you'd let out a little yelp
just to let me know this was your territory.
Making a mess of the house
and chewing on everything in sight
became a passion
and when I scolded you,
you just put your head down
and looked up at me with those innocent eyes
as if to say," I'm Sorry,
but I'll do it again as soon as you're not looking."
As you got older,
you protected me by looking out the window
and barking at everyone who walked by.
When I had a tough day at work,
you would be waiting for me
with your tail wagging just to say,
"Welcome home! I missed you!"
You never had a bad day
and I could always count on you
to be there for me.
When I sat down to watch T.V. or read the paper,
you would hop on my lap looking for attention.
You never asked for anything more
than to have me pat your head
so you could go to sleep with your head over my leg.
As you got older,
you moved around more slowly.
Then one day,
old age finally took its toll,
and you couldn't stand on those wobbly legs anymore.
I knelt down and patted you lying there,
trying to make you young again.
You just looked up at me
as if to say you were old and tired
and that after all of these years of not asking for anything,
you had to ask me to do one last favor.
With tears in my eyes,
I drove you one last time to the vet.
One last time you were lying next to me.
For some strange reason
you were able to stand up in the animal hospital.
Perhaps it was your sense of pride.
As the vet led you away,
you stopped for an instant, turned your head
and looked at me as if to say,
" Thank you for taking care of me."
And I thought, " No . . . Thank you for taking care of me."

-- Chuck Wells, Palmyra NY
Taken from Ann Landers' Column
Dayton (Ohio) Daily News, April 10, 1992

[elston]

Midnitebirdgirls offering was so beautiful.

The only thing I would add, is when I had to have two old friends put to sleep, I stayed with them and held them. I was amazed at how peaceful it was and instantaneous. Of course I wept, and couldnt drive home for awhile....but it was reassuring to see that they really did...just "go to sleep" and it was over before the Dr. had removed the needle. I was glad to be there with them to say, one last time, "I love you, you are such a good dog." When it was over, I really felt that I had kept my promise to always take care of them and to never let anyone hurt them.