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Our 22-year old daughter recently moved in with us--long story, we welcomed her back.
She brought with her a five-month old puppy. We're not dog people, having never owned one, but we welcomed the dog, too. fortunately, we have a fairly large back yard. The pup is a sweetheart, she loves attention, and gets along with our three elderly cats (well, they've trained her).
Problems are:
Daughter is irresponsible with the animal.
-She NEVER had any shots (she just got the puppy from Craig's List)
We insisted she at least get rabies, and finally WE paid for the shot, it was $10 through Vanguard, we paid cash, the rabies certificate lists DD as dog Owner
The dog has NEVER been to a vet until we insisted. DD took her to the vet, but we paid for it, on our credit card, total $141. That was for new puppy exam, heartworm test, worm test, every shot a new puppy needs---sorry, I don't have the bill in front of me, but you get the idea.
Dog is NOT housebroken, although DD said she was. She never walks the dog, and the dog doesn't have any toileting routine. She thinks its ok to just leave it outside while she's at work, but I usually bring it in during the heat of the day (This is Texas, running around 100+ in the day). When dog is inside, she sometimes "leaks". If I see it, I clean it up right away, but what about those times I don't see it? Its already starting to smell in here. DD says its just a puppy, so she will "piddle" she will outgrow it
Meanwhile, our new flooring is becoming a dog toilet
So, my solution---
Train the pup--she can't be expected to just know what to do!
We signed up for "puppy kindergarten" a ten-week course, cost $150, which we have already paid. Classes start tomorrow.
Meanwhile, DD says its all our fault for letting the dog inside--despite the heat--and we make over her, which makes her excitable, so she "piddles".. DD solution---leave the dog outside all day in 100+ heat, just let her in when she--DD--is home. Well, that's simply not acceptable for me. Besides, it won't work, anyways. The dog piddles inside when she is with DD, regardless. Just last night she left a big puddle on my new porcelain tile kitchen floor Again, its not the dog's fault, she needs training. Isn't that why they have dog training classes?
Another intermit solution I suggested, doggie diapers when she's inside. Hey, look, they sell them for puppies, specifically for those not yet trained, and "excitable piddlers". I even said I would buy them, just it would be DD job to handle them.
Ok, so, she got hostile to ALL the above suggestions, took the dog and left, along with most of her clothes, to go live at boyfriend's place. BF family has received two warnings from management they can't keep dog on premises, I'm concerned next sighting they will call animal control and dog will be taken to the pound
When she is at BF, she leaves the dog penned up in a kennel, outside. She's not very attentive to leaving it adequate water, food, shelter, etc. Its like a toy, when she's tired of playing with it, she just put's it away.
I've grown very attached to the dog, and am willing and capable to provide it with a responsible, loving home. Meanwhile, the dog is NOT receiving proper care. I'm just sick worrying about her. I'm wondering if I should file a complaint with Animal Control to have her removed, then I can legally adopt her? I'm concerned DD will just ditch her if she becomes too much of an issue.
Sorry this is somewhat rambling, but I am extremely concerned about the animal!
So, in short, there's obviously something wrong with the girl.
Can you get the dog from the BF's family? Maybe they don't want the dog abused either.
Then treat the dog as yours,nicely tell her you'll get her a non living toy (if possible...is there something non living that she would like?) and change your locks.
So, in short, there's obviously something wrong with the girl.
Can you get the dog from the BF's family? Maybe they don't want the dog abused either.
Then treat the dog as yours,nicely tell her you'll get her a non living toy (if possible...is there something non living that she would like?) and change your locks.
I know BF family doesn't really want the dog, either. That's why we got her in the first place! DD got the dog on a whim, brought her "home", and BF family told her she couldn't keep her. So that's when DD moved in with us!
Problem is, we live in the same town, only a few miles away. DD often takes dog with her when she goes to visit BF, but they leave it inside or outside in a cage where manager can't see it. We can put locks on the backyard fences, along with changing the locks to the house.
I understand the dog is legally ours if we've domiciled her for more than 10 days. they've been here about 3 months. Also, we've paid about $300 for vet bills, dog training classes, supplies, flea meds, etc, etc which makes it more our animal than her's. In Texas, an animal is considered property. The monies we've paid help establish a claim to our "property".
Well, perhaps I should ask the vet? Or just call animal Control and ask what are my options? Or even engage an attorney? I'm THAT concerned about the dog!
have you asked your daughter if you could have the dog? Point out, calmly and non-judgementally, that she doesn't have time to care for it, apparently can't afford it and you'd be willing to take it off her hands.
have you asked your daughter if you could have the dog? Point out, calmly and non-judgementally, that she doesn't have time to care for it, apparently can't afford it and you'd be willing to take it off her hands.
who knows-could work.
That's a nice thought, but won't work. I tried to ask her last night to leave the dog with us but she wouldn't consider it. We asked nicely, pointed out that we have the time and resources to care for the animal, at least until she gets into a better housing position. Also, the dog has bonded with us and is happy here. DD just refused to consider our offer. It was somewhat chilling---she said if she doesn't have a home here, neither would the dog hey, she's the one who decided to leave because we asked our property be considered. That's why I'm considering being more "heavy-handed" and contact animal control or police or something to legally take the dog back.
Also, as she left and took the dog, who was trotting dutifully alongside her, I reached down to pet her goodbye. I was crying at that point. DD told the dog "don't go to her, she's bad!" Poor dog looked back at me all confused, but knows who her master is, as most dogs do.
Oh, last night DS said she was drunk when she said all that, he said she has a drug/alcohol problem. Wonder how he knows?
Last edited by MaryleeII; 07-04-2018 at 04:53 PM..
Your vet is probably familiar with the process in situations like this and who to call. If the vet's not available, the front desk often can get this info quickly.
If you have to accompany an authority, take your papers/bills/whatever to prove ownership.
About a gift in exchange. I've seriously known people who exchanged a dog for concert tickets. Terrible, yes...but great for the dog.
I don't think you have any legal standing to do anything. The dog isn't yours. Legally, you could sue your daughter for the vet bills, if she promised to pay them, but it sounds like it was a gift and not expected to be paid back.
I'm afraid your daughter will now use the dog to manipulate you.
And if you call animal control or their landlord to report the dog, there's no guarantee the dog will end up in your possession.
It might make you feel better to call and report her, and maybe the dog will at least end up in a better home. But, I honestly don't think you should take the dog. It will always be her dog, and she'll use it to manipulate you.
If you have decided you really want a dog, I suggest you go get another one that's definitely yours.
I'm sorry about this, truly. I'm older and have learned how things can go with kids. And you should believe your son. A parent's love is blind to our kids' faults, and our kids are good at hiding them from us. But, the siblings and friends can see the truth. Dealing with what you're dealing with is really hard and painful. But, your daughter needs to grow up, and you need to let her fall on her face, I'm afraid. She's behaving like a kid from a divorced family, using one parent against the other - or moving from one house to another, when she doesn't get her way. If both sides put up with it, the kid only learns to believe they should always get their way.
I know first hand how painful it is to deal with. Really sorry you are going through it.
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hey, she's the one who decided to leave because we asked our property be considered. That's why I'm considering being more "heavy-handed" and contact animal control or police or something to legally take the dog back.
