How to help our grieving blind dog Sadie (how much, shepherd, vet)
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I could use some advice. My heart is breaking that on Friday morning we will be saying goodbye to our sweet friend, our 15 year old Springer Spaniel who we've loved since he was 10 weeks old. It's just time for us to help him with this and we can accept the grieving process that has already begun. What we need help with is our younger Springer, Sadie, who is 10 the end of this month, and who lost her eyesight last year due to PRA. They have been like an old couple all these years and despite being somewhat intolerant of him at times, she depends on him tremendously. They are always together. Just taking him to the vet yesterday and leaving her at home for that short time caused her to howl soulfully (which she never ever does). How do we help her with not only her grief, but most importantly, how can we help her to become independent and comfortable being without him? My husband is worried she will not adapt well and will die before too long. I don't think a new dog being introduced to her will have a positive outcome. Thanks for any words of wisdom and experience!
I am so sorry.
It will take her a little while(few months maybe?) to get use to being the only pet.
Don't baby to much but have a positive attitude around her.
So sorry, Merion...just went there and it is SO not easy to do. We noticed a couple of our dogs were very upset, one in particular...he has grieved before when we've lost seniors. An extra amount of affection seems to help. I think this sounds a little morbid, but I'm only passing on what worked for us. We have allowed our dogs to come close to the animal that has passed very shortly thereafter and sniff. I do believe they know. That may or may not be an option for you and you really don't know how Sadie will react. You might try keeping the springer's bed close to Sadie's for a little while for comfort. If it appears that is upsetting her, well...you'll have to go another direction.
The only other thing I could suggest which may not be an option at all is to take in another senior, one with full faculties, if you think she would accept one at all. I would suggest the opposite sex, and one with a very low key demeanor. Although Sadie and your boy have been very close and have their own rhythm, it may help her to establish a new rhythm and have another buddy to depend on. You might consider fostering a senior through a rescue with a full understanding on the part of everyone that it just may not work out...but you may be surprised and it may work out, which would be a wonderful thing for everyone involved. I'd encourage you to explore that, and to discuss with the rescue the possibility of adopting the foster if it does, as some rescues do not allow their foster homes to adopt the dogs, or an agreement for returning the dog back to another foster home if Sadie can't make the adjustment.
Much will depend on your interaction with her. As long as she knows you are there and you are constant she will most likely rebound. I think sometimes we don't put enough faith in the fact that pets can grieve and yet still come back as strong as ever.
It's going to be a difficult time for you regardless...peace to you and your family. Please let us know how things are going.
How very sad for you and for Sadie! I concur with Sam I Am's suggestion about allowing Sadie to experience the fact that her partner has died. The one time I didn't do that, my other dogs seemed to be more upset. I also make the dead dog's bed available to the other dogs by leaving it in the usual place for a few days, hoping once the physical presence is gone, the olfactory presence will fade gradually as they get used to life without their friend.
Nothing about this will be easy for you or for Sadie. Just make the time to love each other. It's the only thing that helps.
I, too concur with SamIam. We let go of two senior dogs, one last spring and one the spring before that. Ursa was somewhat dependant on O'shota when we let O'shota go, we have a third dog, Chelsea, that is not only 7 and Ursa immediately latched on to Chelsea. When we let Ursa go at 15, Chelsea became somewhat depressed for a while. We found that if friends brought their dogs over to visit or we dog sat them for a while that Chelsea's spirit picked up. Adopting of fostering a senior dog may help both you and Sadie. We also let our dogs see or smell the dog that we let go. Do you have an appointment for your vet to come to your house? We found that to be the least disturbing for us and our dogs.
Thank you all for your kind words of advice and sympathy. We do plan to let Sadie say her goodbyes and will keep Murphy's bedding in place for awhile. I hope the adjustment won't be as bad as I'm envisioning for our poor girl. We will give her lots of hugs and attention. I've just been laying down with Murphy on his bed telling him how much I love him and thanking him for being such a great dog and friend all these years. It's been 35 years since I last lost a pet when I was a child so I can't imagine how painful this is going to be. I know I need to just let myself grieve and let the tears flow as they come.
Twenty-three years ago I rescued a tiny white shepherd pup that had been tortured, burned with cigarettes and hung over a streetlight along with two littermates. My Sabra was the only one that survived. She grew into a gentle, kind dog that happily mentored many other rescue dogs over the years. Two of her younger charges stayed with us, and the bond between the three of them was very deep. When Sabra was overtaken by old age and ill health, we chose a time to let her go peacefully. Her two buddies got to say goodbye to her and stood vigil at her burial. For weeks after they were very depressed. They'd search the house for her, looking in all of her usual spots. It was very sad. Gradually we all got back to the business of life. About eight years ago we moved to a new home. I was sorting through some things I'd stored away and pulled Sabra's collar out of a plastic bag at the bottom of a box. Immediately Sabra's two buddies ran over, sniffed the collar and started to whine. They were both old and creaky and frail by then, but for a few minutes they forgot their age. Their eyes sparkled with joy, then confusion as they looked around and couldn't find Sabra. They whined and cried and searched the whole house for her while I sat and cried.
We had to put down one of our dogs about 5 weeks ago (cancer).
We had our 2 other dogs present during the euthanization. Afterwards, we encouraged them to come up to the body and inspect it. My older female refused to do so, which was fine. My younger female gave one cautious sniff.
We all spent the next 3 days in the house just being together. Both dogs were very depressed but after about 2 days, they started to come out of it a bit. My older female, who had been with our male for 7 years was still depressed for weeks, but she came out of it more and more each day.
What I found interesting was how the dogs processed their grief. It seems as though they don't go into denial, they don't really question why, they just process. And so they seem to work through it maybe a little more quickly and thoroughly than we humans do.
Having another dog helped my 7 year old tremendously. Your dog will lean on you and you can help your dog come out of a depression if the dog is stuck in one, I'm sure. Once you're able to, just be your dog's rock and she'll be okay.
We also limited the use of his name afterwards. Unfortunately, we have an African Grey parrot who was not present during the euthanization and was "looking" for her favorite dog . She spoke about him a lot during the first couple of weeks, and every time she said his name, my 7 year old female dog would get visibly sad for a moment. So while you might want to discuss the deceased dog initially, I would be careful to curtail discussions of him once you're past the event.
So sorry you're facing this . For me, the anticipation of the event was far worse than the period after the event, if that helps any.
I am so sorry to hear about your dog. It is never easy to say good bye. I understand your worry about Sadie as I have two dogs that have been best friends for over 10 years and one has cancer and I wonder how the other one will deal with it when he dies.
Dogs do grieve and one of my parents dogs grieved big time after my mon died and had a major flare up of his lupus. It was hard to see and less then a year after my mom he died too. My dogs grieved him as they loved him and knew him most of their lives I found that flower essences helped them alot. A good one is Return To Joy by Anaflora but it is hard to find and Bach Flower essences are easier and most health food stores that carry them could tell you which ones to use. ( these are not only for animals but people too)
If you have never used Flower essences I suggest everyone get Bach's Rescue Remedy. It can help prevent shock in an injured animal, It can also calm a stressed animal ( my vet notices a huge difference in my dogs since I started giving them Rescuse remedy before they go to the vets) and is even good when you yourself feel stressed. A few drops in your glass of water will have you feeling better.
I also agree with some of the others in letting the dog see and sniff the dead dog AFTER it has died. When My cat died my dogs both got a chance to sniff her and after a few minutes they both walked away and never looked for the cat. It was like they understood she was gone. Their behavior when My mom died was interesting too as both of my dogs and my parents dogs were with all of us and my mom at her time of death and I would say they all understod what was happening. Jazz ran up and got one last kiss (lick) in it was so sweet .
I will be thinking of you tomorrow as I am sure most that have read your post will be too.
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. She spoke about him a lot during the first couple of weeks, and every time she said his name, my 7 year old female dog would get visibly sad for a moment. So while you might want to discuss the deceased dog initially, I would be careful to curtail discussions of him once you're past the event.
