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Old 07-13-2014, 06:58 PM
 
Location: U.S.A., Earth
5,511 posts, read 4,475,764 times
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Some married couples still 'outsource' certain things... you have one that gets into a huge fight about who does the cleaning. No one wants to do it, so they hired a cleaner to come by every week. So simple a solution that paying a small x # of $ a week kept a relationship from falling apart. Others will hire someone to do the yardwork since they're both working, or to walk the dog, etc.

If you're single, you do need to pick up the slack though... you can't count on someone cooking, cleaning, or doing computer stuff for you, so it does make you more self reliant. I am amused how like with many other comparisons, you probably won't be an attractive mate if you can't do many of these things yourself, even though the relationship may end up such that you won't have to.
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:44 PM
 
2,485 posts, read 2,218,616 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ackmondual View Post
Some married couples still 'outsource' certain things... you have one that gets into a huge fight about who does the cleaning. No one wants to do it, so they hired a cleaner to come by every week. So simple a solution that paying a small x # of $ a week kept a relationship from falling apart. Others will hire someone to do the yardwork since they're both working, or to walk the dog, etc.

If you're single, you do need to pick up the slack though... you can't count on someone cooking, cleaning, or doing computer stuff for you, so it does make you more self reliant. I am amused how like with many other comparisons, you probably won't be an attractive mate if you can't do many of these things yourself, even though the relationship may end up such that you won't have to.
Yes, being single does require a lot of things. Having friends is important. But it is still an above average investment with little risks.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:02 PM
 
Location: West of Louisiana, East of New Mexico
2,916 posts, read 3,000,320 times
Reputation: 7041
People have not changed. Our options and what is considered socially acceptable has changed. If a man or woman is unhappy with their marriage today, they try to fix it. If it doesn't work, they get a divorce. 50 years ago, the two people stayed together even if they hated each other. Sure you provide a 2-parent home. However, people still cheated on their spouses, abused each other etc.

A single mom raising two kids, or 2 parents that don't love each other raising two kids? Neither is really ideal.

Every generation thinks that the world is falling apart and that civilization will end. We are narcissists at heart and believe that the timeline of Man revolves around us. People thought that Elvis' hips gyrating were sinful. People thought (and still think) that two people of different races shouldn't be together. Hell, it was taboo for a Catholic and Protestant to marry not so long ago.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:07 PM
 
Location: West of Louisiana, East of New Mexico
2,916 posts, read 3,000,320 times
Reputation: 7041
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
NATURE teaches us it is supposed to be a Man with a Woman. << period BIOLOGY teaches us it is supposed to be a Man with a Woman. Penis and Vagina... must I elaborate?

Whatever Mankind concocts attempting to justify their behavior is just that.. attempting to justify their behavior.

The CHILDREN are who are hurting ultimately.. which ultimately hurts society at large.

Sure point to the study or two with two Men smiling on camera holding hands with an adopted child demonstrating how great it is...

Two wrongs don't make a right. Studies can easily be manipulated to further an agenda without presenting accurate conclusions based upon one's bias.

But this is not a "pro gay"/"anti-gay" thread.. It's about how our society has embraced being single. which my opinion about it is noted. It's supposed to be a Man with a Woman raising children... this forms a healthy family.. which ultimately helps form a healthy society.

Through history there has been a fairy persistent, but small percentage of people that are gay/lesbian. Are you saying that gays choose to be the way they are? Sure a gay person may decide not to engage in homosexual acts, but does that mean that their attraction to the same sex "stops?"

I compare it to being left-handed. Lefties have always been around 5-10% of the population. No matter how many righties are in a family, somewhere along the lines, a lefty will appear.
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Old 07-14-2014, 04:17 AM
 
Location: Fairbanks, AK
1,753 posts, read 2,903,546 times
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Soooo, since my husband died when our children were just 13 and a few days from turning 10, I should hurry up and get remarried so they can have a father in their life? I don't think so. I teach them the same things my husband would teach them as far as how to build stuff, how to fix stuff, how to hunt and fish, etc. My kids are now almost 16 and 12, are doing great and so am I. It hasn't been quite 3 years yet and I am fine being single and do not see that changing anytime soon. I am not on any type of government assistance and make a fairly good wage, because I work my ass off. We are able to pay all our bills, drive a decent, though used car, have a few extras now and then, and I have two savings accounts. Yes, "outsourcing" is a good thing. I do most everything myself but can pay to have someone work on my car (I bought the very nice warranty that was available when I bought it) or what ever I can't do myself. I can have a friend pick up a kid or drop off if needed for most sports or play activities if I am unavailable due to work. I, or my kids cook the meals now that they are old enough to cook, though I did most of it myself when my husband was here anyways. We're doing just fine. I don't see bringing someone else into our happy little environment just for the sake of ease. I'm not afraid of hard work. I would however be leary of bringing someone else's emotional baggage and general life complications into our environment. Maybe after my kids are raised I would be more willing to find another partner but right now my job is to finish raising them, not looking for booty calls or free back rubs.
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,869 posts, read 16,317,950 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
...

Generally speaking people who get married & stay married:

--Live longer.
--Are healthier.
--Earn more.
--Have more in savings/investments.
--Are happier ...
I can't begin to imagine what pop cultures sources you got this list from. In fact, all of the above has been effectively discounted by many credible sources. Some of the best analysis comes from Bella DePaulo, PhD, of Harvard and the University of California, who has made a sociology career of studying single people in the U.S.

Dr. DePaulo sums up refutations of your points here in an article called The Top 10 Myths About Single People. You might want to read it.
Bella DePaulo: The Top 10 Myths About Single People

One of DePaulo's most important points is about the familial and social connections single people make that married people often lack. "In two national surveys, researchers kept tabs on who was doing the helping, supporting, and staying in touch with other people. Here's what they found. Married people exchange much less help with their parents and parents-in-law combined than single people do with just their parents. It is the single people who are there for mom and dad. Singles are also the ones who are more likely to visit, call and stay in touch with their siblings. They are more likely than married people to maintain ties with friends and neighbors. So while married couples are focused primarily on each other, single people are the ones who are holding together families and communities." The author also cites extensive research that refute the notions widely quoted in the Wall Street Journal, among other places, saying married people are happier and healthier than singles.

Another book of research that supports DePaulo's findings about single people, Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, was written by Eric Klinenberg, PhD, of New York University. In studying more than 300 in-depth interviews, Dr. Klinenberg demonstrates that most single dwellers from their 20s to their 80s are deeply engaged in social and civic life. Evidence shows these people "enjoy better mental health and have more environmentally sustainable lifestyles."
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Old 07-14-2014, 08:44 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,634,329 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stimestar View Post
Soooo, since my husband died when our children were just 13 and a few days from turning 10, I should hurry up and get remarried so they can have a father in their life? I don't think so. I teach them the same things my husband would teach them as far as how to build stuff, how to fix stuff, how to hunt and fish, etc. My kids are now almost 16 and 12, are doing great and so am I. It hasn't been quite 3 years yet and I am fine being single and do not see that changing anytime soon. I am not on any type of government assistance and make a fairly good wage, because I work my ass off. We are able to pay all our bills, drive a decent, though used car, have a few extras now and then, and I have two savings accounts. Yes, "outsourcing" is a good thing. I do most everything myself but can pay to have someone work on my car (I bought the very nice warranty that was available when I bought it) or what ever I can't do myself. I can have a friend pick up a kid or drop off if needed for most sports or play activities if I am unavailable due to work. I, or my kids cook the meals now that they are old enough to cook, though I did most of it myself when my husband was here anyways. We're doing just fine. I don't see bringing someone else into our happy little environment just for the sake of ease. I'm not afraid of hard work. I would however be leary of bringing someone else's emotional baggage and general life complications into our environment. Maybe after my kids are raised I would be more willing to find another partner but right now my job is to finish raising them, not looking for booty calls or free back rubs.
I believe a Godly husband is an essential component to form a healthy family unit. At the age of 16 and 12, boys need to learn to become men. I speak from experience being raised by a mother of four. Of course not just any guy is going to be able to fulfill this role the way it was designed.

The woman is not designed to both head and provider as well as caregiver. So as they need to take on the role of the head, they outsource critical component of caregiving to a stranger.
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Old 07-14-2014, 08:52 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,634,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malloric View Post
Why?

Lots of species in nature have homosexual relations as well. So nature really doesn't tell us anything of the sort.
I'm sorry but this is a concocted bunch of pseudoscience with no true scientific base whatsoever. Just a bunch of people that want to embrace this behavior that are pushing an agenda distorting the evidence.


NO WHERE in nature will you see a MALE having sex with another MALE.. only Mankind..

And I think this is pretty good evidence that what the Bible says about our sin nature is true.


We didn't over time over series of failing to find the right gender finally hit a woman and get it right.. To embrace Evolution theology requires GREAT faith. Which is what the entire argument rests on ultimately.
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Old 07-14-2014, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Oceania
8,610 posts, read 7,893,401 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Costaexpress View Post

I disagree on several points. It doesn't have to be a husband and a wife. What about gay parents? They can also have children.

It's an exaggeration to say that the family unit is destroyed. If you look at the vast majority of the population, not some Hollywood shows, you see the traditional American family all over. As a social liberal, I think it's a bit of an exaggeration.

Is wealth distribution a problem for people?
This all goes hand in hand and most on the thread have not tread near any of it.

Was this about being single or is this a thread about gay parents and wealth distribution?


Wealth distribution.
Here's how you handle that...This Friday afternoon you take your entire paycheck to a rundown part of town and start parceling it out to those you think need YOUR wealth and distribute it. It will be more efficient than how government does so as 60% won't go toward overhead costs such as feeding the pig.
You got a problem with that?
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Old 07-14-2014, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Oceania
8,610 posts, read 7,893,401 times
Reputation: 8318
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post

The social stigma toward unwed parenting needs to come back. It is harmful to the kid. All the research supports that.

Social stigmata takes a back seat to Kim K and those like her. People worship celebrity, their behavior and would ideally love to emulate such. Trash knows no boundaries.
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