Welcoming an exchange student (school, exam, students, campus)

[Nikyma]

I have recently signed on to host a 17 year old, male exchange student from Japan. I'm Irish and have two daughters. So, my knowledge of Japanese culture doesn't go far beyond the teppanyaki tables and sushi bars; and my knowledge of boys is even less.

I'm wondering if anyone might have suggestions of ways to make him feel at home. I was thinking I'd get some Japanese posters/music for his room. But, where do I shop for such things in the twin cities?

Any suggestions, music, food, lifestyle, culture differences would be appreciated. My biggest concern would comfort items, for example personal hygiene items or different types of pillows?

Thanks so much!

[charolastra00]

First off- take a deep breath! You have no need to worry and it sounds like you'll be a great host mom!

I've been a host student in 3 different countries with 5 different families so hopefully I can give you a little advice...

First of all, since he's coming to the US to experience US culture, putting up posters of Japanese things isn't really needed. Plus, it's so easy to make a faux pas that way. There's such a wide variety of Japanese music, just like American music, that you could grab a poster that's really the Japanese version of the Backstreet Boys. :P It's a kind thought, but I'd leave it up to him as to how to decorate it.

As for other stuff, just talk to him when he gets here. Do you know what level his English is at? Talking about food can be both very easy and very challenging since specific foods might not translate. However, it's a great way of helping him practice speaking more, learn more vocabulary, and learn more culture! Maybe take him to a grocery store and have him talk to you and your daughters about how it's different from at home. He can also pick out foods. The biggest part of being an exchange student is trying out your host country's way of life so don't be too concerned about preparing Japanese meals or anything. Maybe if he can cook, he can teach you some meals. I definitely cooked for my host families and they got me to try really crazy things (puffin, blood pudding, and whale in Iceland; beef heart, stomach lining killing spicy chilis, and grasshoppers in Mexico; and ******s in England) because I was so into learning the culture (and I think of myself as the female Andrew Zimmern :P). You might not want to force feed your host kid turducken anytime soon, but you might be surprised at how willing he is to try things. On the other hand, his palate is different so don't be too offended if he doesn't like something.

As far as comfort items, make sure he has plenty of blankets. It might feel cold to him and in general, blankets are good for comfort when you're homesick! He should bring his own personal hygene items, but a few good extras to throw in his room might be tissues and a wastebasket. Also, make sure you give him a good tour of the house and show him how to work appliances such as the laundry machine (unless you'll be doing it for him).

Please let us know how it's going! Good luck, you and your daughters are in for a marvelous learning experience!

[lisdol]

I worked with a woman whose mother hosted international students at Harvard. They lived on campus but she would pick them up at the airport and host them over breaks. So they knew how to find her at the airport (used to be at the gate, but you know how that goes) she would hold up their country's flag. I thought that was a neat idea.

I know, that takes care of only the first 60 seconds or so.

[Nikyma]

Originally Posted by lisdol

I worked with a woman whose mother hosted international students at Harvard. They lived on campus but she would pick them up at the airport and host them over breaks. So they knew how to find her at the airport (used to be at the gate, but you know how that goes) she would hold up their country's flag. I thought that was a neat idea.

I know, that takes care of only the first 60 seconds or so.

Still a cool idea! Thank you.

[Nikyma]

Thanks Charolastra, your post was very reassuring.

[17th Street]

My family hosted a student from Bolivia for a year, and I have been hosted in other countries as well, so hopefully I can be of some help.

My best piece of advice is to treat the person like a member of your family; that is it. Really, when my exchange-sister was here, she was a member of my family. My parents treated her the same way as they treated my brother and I. During the experience we really became sisters, we laughed a lot, we became great friends, we traveled together, and we fought and made up. In all, it was an awesome experience, and I still consider her to be my sister and a member of my family.

I would say that the Japanese posters are unnecessary. I've lived in Japan (and was hosted by a family there), and just like in America, musical tastes are very diverse, and you might end up buying something he dislikes. When he arrives, the first thing you should probably do is let him rest, and have time to get adjusted to his new living space. After that, I would suggest taking him to the store. This would give him a casual opportunity to buy anything he may have forgotten. You should also be aware of any allergies, or foods he dislikes. (For instance I don't like eggs, I made my host families aware of this).

Also as charolastra00 suggested, after some time passes, he may want to cook something for the family. My sister and I cooked together a lot, and I learned how to make some great Bolivian dishes. I also cooked with my host families, and I really enjoyed the experience.

Again, I can't really stress enough how important it is to treat the student like a member of your family. Just like my parents attended my school activities, they did the same for my sister. If she had any issues at all, they stepped in and acted like her parents. After the experience was over, my sister said she really appreciated having that support.

Let me know if you have any additional questions. Hosting a student is a great experience, and I am sure your family will learn a lot and have a great time!

[suzie02]

I came to US as an exchange student and the most important thing is that you learn a little about the student before he arrives. It is a like parenting, what works for one student doesn't work for another. For example, at home I was in charge of laundry for my entire family and here I was not allowed to wash my own clothes. I felt insulted as I was treated as a child. That was one of my biggest issues, at home I was trusted with responsibility and here I was treated like a screw up or something. I did not grow up in a culture of teenagers can't be trusted mentality.

The take him to the store sounds like a good idea but I found US stores overwhelming. I was used to very small stores and I didn't know the brands here. It might be easier to ask him to make a list of the things he likes and purchase them yourself. Another thing the organizations usually say the student can share a room but I do not recommend it because it is hard not to have a space you can call your own. The entire country is foreign so a little space to yourself is nice.

[Nikyma]

Wow! You guys are so great! I really appreciate all of the input. This makes me feel reassured that keeping it simple is the best way.

I already feel as though he's a part of our family from communicating with him through emails and through the information packet that the exchange program sent over. I'm sure this is going to be a great adventure for my whole family.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Fun! We had a wonderful experience hosting a German student a couple of years ago, and are currently hosting a French student. I don't have any experience with Japanese students, but I think the experience will probably be similar, except for some cultural differences.

I'd plan on keeping things very low key for a few days. He'll have jetlag, and having to speak in English all the time is exhausted, disorienting, and scary. Have snacks and simple (not too heavy) foods available. Don't invite extended family over the first weekend he's there to meet him... let him adjust to your family first. Don't get discouraged if his English skills are worse than you expected. He'll be dealing with exhaustion, culture shock, and strong American accents, after all! It took a few weeks for us to be able to consistently communicate well with our German student. Our French student has been here for nearly two weeks and we understand her most of the time now.

Have fun! Enjoy every minute, because it will just fly right on by. Take lots of pictures!

[SookieStackhouse]

I am somewhat familiar w/exchange students, however the ones I knew were from Sweden, Spain, and Germany. Japan may be a totally different situation.

When I was a teenager, my family had an exchange student (girl) a year older than me.... at first that did not work to well, it was kind of like putting two cats together... I was kind of jealous of all of the attention she was getting and was a bit difficult. Part of that might have come from my being an "only child". Eventually I stopped acting like a #!tch, and we became good friends.

I would assume you having daughters (if they live at home still), and the student being a boy that "instant rivalry" isn't going to happen.

I would hesitate on "pre-decorating" his room... it might be fun to take him out shopping for room decor a day or two after he arrives. I imagine the day he arrives he will want to sleep and get some rest. After he is rested up, going shopping could be a great ice-breaking activity. He might want to buy some stuff to decorate his room, some new clothes, and school supplies.

I would hold off a little while, on inviting the extended family and grandparents over to meet him... all those new people might traumatize the poor kid. Give him a a couple days to adjust to you first.