moving from parochial (college, tuition, public schools, pay)

[okaydorothy]

Hi there
We ahve two boys who are going into 5th and 6th grade. They have been attending parochial school here on long island since K and obvioulsy the time is coming to discuss high schools. Their school goes thru 8th grade.

If they go to parochial school we will be bankrupt ; it will cost about $10,000 each per child per year which I think is crazy to spend before college comes. That would be a total of about $80,000.

So my question is if any of you moved to public from parochial and how did you do? Did you settle down and did you do better or worse education wise in public?

My other question is that our parochial is somewhat limited ; very few outside activities ; usual sports, but thats really it. My one son is fine as he is into sports, but my younger son is not into sports so I feel I am holding him back by having him in parochial. He is very smart(not super duper) but if you call reading all harry potter books by age 9, he is a great kid.

When would be the better time to make the move. Let them graduate here and then move into high school, or move them for middle school? The public school where we are isnt great(6 on greatschool.net), but we could move into another district (8 on that site) as we do have an other home in a better district.

Thanks for any insight. We didnt go to school here so its confusing about doing the right thing.

[taben]

Well, we are in a similar boat. With one entering high school next year, we are really have our backs to the wall to pay tuition. We are looking at all angles. She has been quite happy in Parochial school and almost all of her friends are going onto the high school. In our case, we let her visit two public high schools and next week she meets with the arts department at one of them. Then, we will let her make the choice. If she wants to stay in parochial school, we are going to let her and cut back in lots of other ways (tuition and fees from from 6k in 8th to almost 10k in 9th!). She is a good kid, happy, doing well. But, I think will adjust fine in ps. So, if she wants to go to ps, fine. If not, that is okay too. One thing I think that helped is letting her visit the schools. You may want to let your kids spend a day the ps you are considering. Our daughter really liked one of the ps and not the other.
We also have 2 younger children. One will move to ps in 7th grade (next year). He did not find a niche in parochial middle school and needs a different setting. I say no reason to keep him in a place he is not thriving and happy. He visiting our neighborhood and a magnet ps and really loved one of them, made freinds that day, etc. The activites and classes they offered suit him far better than parochial school. The other son will remain in parochial all the way through...at least that is the plan. He is bright, but does not have great social skills. I don't think he would navigate well the social pond and size of ps. Also, parochial school has fit him like a glove on every single level. He also visited ps and came away with no desire to every return.

So, my advice would be to actually visit the schools. The greatschools site is nice, but it does not at all give the full picture of a school. Ratings are subjective. Go in and look. You may really like the feel of a lower rated school or find that a high rated school is great...but not for your child. I would visit...then send the kids to shadow for a day.
As they near high school, I believe that they should have some say in what they would LIKE to do (not that it will happen). If they are good kids and a bit insightful, listen. Our oldest did NOT want to leave parochial shcool in middle school and we listed. She thrived in middle school. For high school, she is MUCH more open and ready for a change. When to change very much, in my opinion depends on your child, his personality, desires, academics...and your family's needs.

[CA4Now]

I think people have better luck with sending their kids from parochial to public schools than vice versa. The kids who have attended parochial schools first have learned discipline, are more academically inclined, and have learned to take more initiative than their public school counterparts. They apply what they've learned in parochial school to their public school. Kids transitioning from public to parochial schools are usually in for a big shock....academically and discipline-wise.

Both our kids went to public school from K-8 and to parochial schools for high school. It was a huge transition for both of them but they did end up adapting.