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Hello... I know this is kind of long but please stay with me cause I really need some advise.
I have been a stay-at-home mom for fifteen years and I desperately need to get a degree in order to support myself. My husband has made it clear that he wants a divorce (long story) and I don't think he is going to wait around for three years until I get a degree. I gave up my certification in medical assisting when we first got married and truthfully I do not want to return to that field.
I have been researching every day for the last year. My first thought was to get my RN degree but I have found that it will take me four years to get this degree because I don't have the prereqs. Most people are telling me that it is almost impossible to work (I need to get a job now) have kids and go to RN school because it is so demanding. I am not in my 20's anymore and just don't think I could handle all this.
The next choice was to get an LVN license but then I found that LVN's are being replaced by RN's and I cannot even start school until the fall of 2012 anyway. I'm pretty sure that my husband is not going to wait that long. He has made it clear that he is not going to support me forever and wants to get on with his life and dating plans.
I have recently been looking into becoming a personal trainer because it fits my personality and I love fitness, dance, helping people and looking great. The schooling doesn't take as long either. The only problem I am seeing is that the pay is not very good and I am afraid I won't be able to make it on my own.
I am a middle aged woman and have depended on my husband for over two decades. I still look good for my age and I desperately want to be successful on my own but to be honest I am scared to death that I will end up on the street or something. My confidence level is down and I just don't know what to do or where to begin. I have recently lost a lot of family members (death) so I am basically all alone in this and to make matters worse I just relocated with my family to a new state so my husband could get a new job. He promised that if I did that he would stay with me until I got my feet on the ground. Now he is changing his mind.
Bottom line, I am afraid to get into something that I will hate or waste years in college for nothing while working for a minimum wage. I also have two boys that I love dearly and I want to be a part of their lives.. This is why I am trying to stay around my husband... Both of my boys have said they want to live with my husband cause I don't have a job and they don't want to be poor or live on the street. This is extremely hurtful since I have basically been the one who has been at home with them all these years and left my own life and career to dedicate to them and my husband. I believe that I have been a very good mom and wife but I guess some people don't get it and want more.
I just feel so lost and I believe someone out there can help direct me or give me some good suggestions. At this point I welcome any advise you may have. I have considered all kinds of jobs and careers and cannot come up with anything that pays well and doesn't take years to achieve.
Also, I don't really have any money for college. Please help!!! Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to read this. You don't realize how much I appreciate it.
You did not mention what interests you or what you are passionate about. Consider these things before deciding on a path. Also, take the Myers-Briggs personality test. It will help you and give you a list of careers that are well suited for your personality.
If you need to get a degree in a short amount of time, I would suggest going to a community college. You can get grants and aid to help you pay for it. Do you think you would enjoy being a nurse? Community colleges have programs that take 3 years or so and I know a woman at my school who is the same age as you, has kids, and she is completing the requirements, so it can be done!
You could also look into a field like radiology, ultrasound tech, respiratory therapist... those are all in demand and pay well.
Sorry for what you are going through. I know it can't be easy and you have a lot to think about, but your life is not over and you never know what good things are around the corner. Try to do things that will boost your confidence and make you feel good... and happy.
Thanks so much luna16. Your response was a HUGE encouragement to me after receiving a discouraging response on another thread. Yes, my situation is very difficult but you are right. I can do this.. and I really appreciate your suggestions.
Can I take that test free somewhere online? I have never heard of it before. And perhaps I will visit a community college. Yes.. I have considered nursing but it would take four years and my husband who has been my provider is leaving soon so my life is going to get really hard. I basically gave up my life for him and my kids. Now I am starting from scratch and my parents have passed away...
Thanks for your help... I look forward in hearing from you again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luna16
Hi there,
You did not mention what interests you or what you are passionate about. Consider these things before deciding on a path. Also, take the Myers-Briggs personality test. It will help you and give you a list of careers that are well suited for your personality.
If you need to get a degree in a short amount of time, I would suggest going to a community college. You can get grants and aid to help you pay for it. Do you think you would enjoy being a nurse? Community colleges have programs that take 3 years or so and I know a woman at my school who is the same age as you, has kids, and she is completing the requirements, so it can be done!
You could also look into a field like radiology, ultrasound tech, respiratory therapist... those are all in demand and pay well.
Sorry for what you are going through. I know it can't be easy and you have a lot to think about, but your life is not over and you never know what good things are around the corner. Try to do things that will boost your confidence and make you feel good... and happy.
Aww, I'm so glad I was able to help you. Please don't be discouraged. If you want something bad enough, you can achieve it. See if your local community college offers an RN program. You might be able to finish the whole thing there in less than 4 years (community college RN programs are usually 2-3 years).
Yes, you can take the test online.
humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes1.htm
After you get your results, read as much as you can about your personality type. Google your type. For example, I am an INFJ. I would google "INFJ careers" "INFJ personality" etc...
What kind of job are you going to look for now? I wouldn't worry too much about a "career" at this point. Just find something that will pay the bills. School can be expensive, and there is no guarantee it will get you a job. If you do go to school, make sure you don't get in debt to do so.
I agree with the Community College advice at least to start off with. It will be cheaper than a big name college. Most of the lower classes (English 101 etc.) will be nearly the same anywhere you go anyway. Just make sure that if you do want to move to a bigger college later that the credits will transfer (some don't). I agree that nursing can be an intensive study. Both my mom and sister went to school for it. The job can be stressful (sick and dying patients) and long hours can be tough (my sister works 12 hour shifts sometimes). I think you can do it if you truly want to. It will take more effort of course since you have children to take care of. You could do the personal trainer thing to make ends meet while you are in school. You will probably have more flexible hours that way too. My wife's cousin did that while in school for a few years. I would say good luck, but I think you don't need luck when you have determination!
Other ideas:
Start your own business
Vocational / Trade School (1 - 2 year study)
Online Classes (I guess I'm old school and don't like the idea, but I know younger people that have done this)
Oh, I just remembered something. If you want to be a personal trainer, the YMCA offers to certify their employees, so you wouldn't have to worry about paying for it yourself. Maybe you could work there part time while attending community college. You would be busy, but I think you might be happy if you feel you are accomplishing things.
You could do a 6-8 week program like pharmacy tech. The pay is pretty good for that lenght of time, you could work and go to school for something else in the meantime if you wish.
Personal trainers seem to be a dime a dozen in my area, just about anyone can call themselves that without certification--I don't know if this is the case everywhere.
Physical therapy assistant (2 years) is a good option, money is really good, same thing with Occupational Therapy assistant. I don't know if Court Reporting is still a good field (used to be) but that is also 2 years.
However, having just been through a pro se divorce in the past year myself, it's very difficult to concentrate on something like a semester of school while you're going through this. You have to look into alimony, since you were a stay-at-home mom. You should get a free consultation with a few lawyers. It's best if you and your husband agree on property and monetary division otherwise you'll just make your prospective lawyers rich.
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Hello... I know this is kind of long but please stay with me cause I really need some advise. 
