What should I specifically do to help my children succeed in school?

[suzy_q2010]

Originally Posted by DewDropInn

Got it.

We always wanted to let the teachers know (in person) that we appreciated them. No negotiating involved. That concept is foreign to me.

(This stopped when they went to college, lol. Though we would occasionally run into one of their professors at a game or event and we'd say, "Hi. How are you. My son is in your X class.")

Despite being on chemo for his leukemia, my older son graduated on time (private school that bent over backwards to help him keep up) and got into his first choice college (small, liberal arts, moderately competitive.) Let us just say he aced the interview. It was not his grades and SAT scores that got him in.

Yet he did well and had a wonderful experience. My DH and I wrote a letter to the president of the school after DH graduated to thank him for an admissions committee that was willing to take a chance.

The reply that we received back made it clear that parents seldom express gratitude.

So, to all you teacher out there, thanks for what you do!

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by suzy_q2010

Despite being on chemo for his leukemia, my older son graduated on time (private school that bent over backwards to help him keep up) and got into his first choice college (small, liberal arts, moderately competitive.) Let us just say he aced the interview. It was not his grades and SAT scores that got him in.

Yet he did well and had a wonderful experience. My DH and I wrote a letter to the president of the school after DH graduated to thank him for an admissions committee that was willing to take a chance.

The reply that we received back made it clear that parents seldom express gratitude.

So, to all you teacher out there, thanks for what you do!

Wow. That's a lot for him to go through. And you. I hope he's well now.

Re the gratitude: I've had the same reaction. (Teachers are surprised.) I've had teachers shocked when I walked in with supplies for them. But I confess I have several teachers in the family, and have heard their stories for years, so I know what they go through

How terrific for you all that your son has done so well!

[ja1myn]

What a lot of parents don't understand is that it's not about always making sure their kid's grades are A+++ and attending every parent conference. Less involvement helps and I can prove my point.

My mother and father never really did anything as far as my education went. They just always said to do my best and if I did well in high school, I could get into any college I wanted to. They never went to conferences or checked up on my grades (that often). Especially my father, who didn't even know my teacher's names.

What my parents did teach me, however, is manners, respect, and responsibility. Those go further than saying "we're going to ground you if you don't get A's in these classes." By respecting my teachers, being responsible with homework, and saying please and thank you, I grew charismatic to my teachers which helped me if I needed extra time on a test or if I needed extra help after a class.

Parents must take a step back and stop micro-managing. Teach your children important character traits that will last a lifetime. Ruling by fear never works; you'll find your finds throwing their report cards out and stuff like that.

Just try it. I did graduate second in my class after all.