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The invitation issue would have to be part of a lengthy negative history with many more sources of demerits or fines to get that far. I am just saying that yes, in theory, it could be part of a pattern of non-cooperation that could lead to expulsion. Schools definitely expel students here for their parents failing to do their volunteer duties too, but it has to be a pretty lengthy history to lead to that.
I too would like to see the link to any private school policy that dictates the whole class must be invited to a student's birthday party. I am not talking about invitations handed out on the school grounds either.
Well volunteer duties can be tied to school finances...fundraising, free labor, so that I could almost see.
I'd like to see such an actual policy though.
There is already the archdiocesan inclusiveness policy which requires invitations handed out in school to go to all students in a grade and encourages teachers to try to have all students invited even if the invitations are not handed out in school.
"No party invitations may be passed out in school unless every student in that grade is invited.
Teachers should get invitations to be passed out to all students" http://www.stlouiswaco.org/pdfs/St_L...icy%20Book.pdf
But some specific archdiocesan schools have stricter policies. St. Francis School Handbook
"Private party invitations will not be given out unless all children in the class are invited. Parents may use the class list to mail invitations."
More importantly, the inclusiveness principle encompasses this idea, and the archdiocesan schools are given the flexibility to enforce violations in spirit as well as in rule.
Among the elite non-Catholic schools, Kirk of the Hills requires invitations to all students in the classroom or all students of the same gender in a classroom http://www.kirkdayschool.org/pdf_fil...t_Handbook.pdf
"Distribution of thank you notes or invitations to home parties, such as birthday parties, will be permitted
only when all students (or all students of the same gender) in the classroom are included." (Notice there is a separate policy banning all distribution in school. This policy is for distribution outside of school.)
I could find no handbook for the College School, Community School, Forsyth School, Wilson School, or The Principia. (It is not uncommon for their school policies to be unpublished though.)
All of these, appear to pertain to passing out invitations at school, even Kirk Day School:
"Distribution of thank you notes or invitations to home parties, such as birthday parties, will be permitted
only when all students (or all students of the same gender) in the classroom are included. Students will
not be permitted to hand out invitations or thank you notes to a limited number of pupils when others
are left out. Parents are asked to handle this kind of communication by phone or mail."
My school also asks that students do not distribute invitations in the school, since feelings are hurt, unless all are included.
You were implying that private schools dictate that all be invited even when communication of such is outside the school.
I find it pretty appalling that anyone would allow a school to meddle in what goes on in their private homes. Jeesh, would you want your kids to feel like they had to jump through absurd, privacy-invading policies at their jobs when they're adults? What a message to be sending!
Many employers do regulate their employees' personal lives. Two teachers at my school married, and one had to transfer. Other employers will dismiss employees for fraternization. So maybe kids need to hear that message.
I don't want my kids getting that message. Their future employers don't own them. Yikes.
And those policies are about handing out invites in school. No school can possibly dictate who invites whom to a private event when invitations are issued by mail or telephone.
@Marigolds...perhaps there was a miscommunication, but I think I was assuming you meant the schools were dictating how parents operated birthday parties when the parents were delivering invitations out of school.
I didn't carefully scour all the links, but much of what I saw didn't look too much different from our handbook our public schools put out..including the rules about invitations. From what I saw it would still seem like a bit of a stretch that violating the stated rules about invites could lead to expulsion. Just because any given school has carefully worded handbooks filled with talk about inclusiveness doesn't mean that translates into any real action on the school's part. I'd say much our public school's handbook is just a lot of fluff.
The irony here, too, is that the rule is there for the benefit of the poorer students. They are the ones most likely to be excluded from parties, and at the same time are the ones specifically paying for a school of that social standing to establish social connections their child would not otherwise have. There are plenty of cheaper schools with equal or better educations; but you send your child to the elite schools so they can be connected.
Social connections are a very small part of why people choose private schools. Most parents choose private, non religious schools to better their children's education. The social connection aspect of private schools is icing on the cake, not the actual cake.
Social connections are a very small part of why people choose private schools. Most parents choose private, non religious schools to better their children's education. The social connection aspect of private schools is icing on the cake, not the actual cake.
Depends on the school. For most of the archdiocese schools and the lower tier schools, I would agree that it is a small part.
When you get to the truly elite schools, especially the boarding schools (I didn't bother with those because they publish almost nothing online), the social connections are definitely the predominate for choosing those schools over other schools that are academically equal or superior but less connected. This is specific to St Louis though. I did not see the same thing when I lived in Chicago, Iowa, or San Diego. Here, the high school you attended is much more important than the college you attended when applying for a job. I see so many resumes where people have masters degrees and 5-10 years experience, and yet are still listing their local high school on their resume.
@Marigolds...perhaps there was a miscommunication, but I think I was assuming you meant the schools were dictating how parents operated birthday parties when the parents were delivering invitations out of school.
I did actually mean that. It is rare, but it does happen. I have actually heard it much more anecdotal from parents who were told off the record to invite more students or none at all. As I have mentioned, I really don't think it is possible for an isolated incident like that to lead to an expulsion; but rather it could be the long term result if the parent continues to oppose the school on that matter and related matters, or perhaps in the rare situation where the parent decides to make a demonstration out of opposing the school.
We are talking about a social class where attending the right school leads to an invitation to the Veiled Prophet Ball and holding/attending the right parties gives your daughter a shot at Queen of Love and Beauty or the Queen's Court; not a social class where attending the right school gives you a shot at an elite college, that is already assumed.
Depends on the school. For most of the archdiocese schools and the lower tier schools, I would agree that it is a small part.
When you get to the truly elite schools, especially the boarding schools (I didn't bother with those because they publish almost nothing online), the social connections are definitely the predominate for choosing those schools over other schools that are academically equal or superior but less connected. This is specific to St Louis though. I did not see the same thing when I lived in Chicago, Iowa, or San Diego. Here, the high school you attended is much more important than the college you attended when applying for a job. I see so many resumes where people have masters degrees and 5-10 years experience, and yet are still listing their local high school on their resume.
Around here there are few boarding schools. There is one school about half an hour north of me that offers boarding as an option but most students are day only students. There are many private, religious schools. There are many private, college prep schools. I only have experience with private, college prep schools. Students do make better social connections (including birthday party invitations) at these schools. However, I just don't see parents choosing them solely for the social connections.
As far as other people saying that the poor kids are the ones excluded from parties, I have not found that to be true. What I find is that kids with poor social skills are the ones excluded from parties.
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