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I could use some advice. It may be a better question for a different forum, but it is education related, so here it goes...
I have a child who is applying for a scholarship to a private school (high school). The student has to provide letters of recommendation. Because of the type of scholarship, she can't ask just anyone to write on her behalf. One of the people who wrote one for her occasionally asks me to proofread stuff for him. But when it comes to my own child's letters, that feels awkward to me. I'm not sure there's anyone else he'd feel comfortable with though. Since I am the child's parent, it doesn't really seem appropriate - but because he asks me, and I know he does need it proofread (there's usually some typos), I have done it.
Now, I have another person who sent me a letter written on my child's behalf. I don't know if my child said something that made the person feel I should receive the letter via email. I would have preferred it to be a physical letter in a sealed envelope. I ended up printing it and putting it into an envelope without reading it. I don't know what I should say when I acknowledge the person's email. Maybe the person wanted me to read it. I'm not sure.
I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. Can someone guide me on the proper etiquette nowadays with these types of letters?
In my experience, unless the school/program explicitly requests that the letters of rec be sent directly to the school and not viewed by the applicant, it is common practice for rec writers to ask for feedback from the person for whom they are writing the letter. FWIW, I've applied to MULTIPLE schools/programs/internships/residencies over the years and I've never once had the person writing the rec, whether a professor, supervisor, or otherwise, not show me the rec before they sent it. It's honorable that you are trying to be fair, but I can pretty much guarantee you (based on my past experiences) that other applicants are getting advance notice of their letters as well. As one professor told me, the only reason you wouldn't want someone to read a rec is because you wanted to write a bad one, and if that is the case, you should decline the initial request. After all, it's called a letter of recommendation, not a letter of condemnation .
Thanks, WaterDragon for your thoughts! I haven't read anything from this particular school restricting me from reading anything. I've just been going with my extremely limited experience from many years ago.
In my experience, unless the school/program explicitly requests that the letters of rec be sent directly to the school and not viewed by the applicant, it is common practice for rec writers to ask for feedback from the person for whom they are writing the letter. FWIW, I've applied to MULTIPLE schools/programs/internships/residencies over the years and I've never once had the person writing the rec, whether a professor, supervisor, or otherwise, not show me the rec before they sent it. It's honorable that you are trying to be fair, but I can pretty much guarantee you (based on my past experiences) that other applicants are getting advance notice of their letters as well. As one professor told me, the only reason you wouldn't want someone to read a rec is because you wanted to write a bad one, and if that is the case, you should decline the initial request. After all, it's called a letter of recommendation, not a letter of condemnation .
This is not my experience at all. Completely the opposite actually. We never show anyone from the student or family letters of rec. Additionally, in the academic enrichment programs I work for, we don't accept any LOR that doesn't come sealed and signed.
I do know plenty of mentors and teachers who actually have the student write their own letter before we write ours. It helps to clarify what we see the student as vs what the student sees them self as.
This is not my experience at all. Completely the opposite actually. We never show anyone from the student or family letters of rec. Additionally, in the academic enrichment programs I work for, we don't accept any LOR that doesn't come sealed and signed.
I do know plenty of mentors and teachers who actually have the student write their own letter before we write ours. It helps to clarify what we see the student as vs what the student sees them self as.
Wow, really? In my experience, even when programs/internships/residencies wanted letters sealed and signed, it was common practice for the writer to give me (or any other student) a copy of the letter prior to printing out the sealed copies. The applications may have stated they wanted letters signed across the back of the envelope, but unless the apps stated specifically the student was not to read the letter, my professors/supervisors always ran a copy by me. It was my understanding (and that of my professors) that the sealed, signed envelopes were to ensure the student didn't alter the letters in any way, not that they hadn't read them... Of course, it was the individual rec writer's prerogative whether or not to share with the student, but I never had one from high school through multiple graduate degrees that didn't share what they wrote with me.
In what type of educational environment are you practicing?
Wow, really? In my experience, even when programs/internships/residencies wanted letters sealed and signed, it was common practice for the writer to give me (or any other student) a copy of the letter prior to printing out the sealed copies. The applications may have stated they wanted letters signed across the back of the envelope, but unless the apps stated specifically the student was not to read the letter, my professors/supervisors always ran a copy by me. It was my understanding (and that of my professors) that the sealed, signed envelopes were to ensure the student didn't alter the letters in any way, not that they hadn't read them... Of course, it was the individual rec writer's prerogative whether or not to share with the student, but I never had one from high school through multiple graduate degrees that didn't share what they wrote with me.
In what type of educational environment are you practicing?
I have written as a high school teacher in a STEM magnet, a college professor at the local uni, and a mentor in a federal research facility. I have read letters as head of a specialty summer program for STEM and as a research advisor. In none of those capacities was it common to show a student their letter. In the high school it was distinctly against board policy.
I have written as a high school teacher in a STEM magnet, a college professor at the local uni, and a mentor in a federal research facility. I have read letters as head of a specialty summer program for STEM and as a research advisor. In none of those capacities was it common to show a student their letter. In the high school it was distinctly against board policy.
Hmmm....I wonder what accounts for the difference in our experiences. My training at 3 tier one research universities and a private high school has been the opposite, on both the student and the professor end of things. Even my rec writers from a brief stint at the VA gave me my letters ahead of time. In no way am I questioning your history, I'm just wondering what might explain the radically different approaches. I don't have an answer (sorry OP!), but the variance is intriguing.
I frequently am asked to write letters of recommendation for students. 90% of the time, I'm expected to send them directly to the requesting agency and the student never sees them.
If people are sending them to you, I would have no problem with reading them. I'm assuming that the expectation of the committee is NOT that they are sent directly from the source, then? If they are to be mailed from the source, I have always provided stamped, addressed envelopes if I'm requesting for me. Most are submitted online these days, though.
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