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Unfortunately, somewhere along the line parents thought they sent their kids to school to socialize - not to get an education (hence our low educational status as compared with the rest of the world). Parents also believe they are not responsible for teaching their children healthy socialization by meeting with parents AFTER school or on weekends to take their kids to dance classes, sports meets etc. Many parents are only concerned with themselves after work hours and could care less what their children are doing or saying. I am so happy a school system has finally had the guts to make this decision. I firmly believe this rule will keep many children from being hurt in the public school system and wish it could have been enacted a long time ago to save the children that have already been hurt (some critically). It is the parents responsibility to teach their children the difference between appropriate and inappropriate ways to touch people. If the parents are not doing their job then the school administration MUST enforce these rules to protect the children that go to school to learn. The children that do not want to learn but rather would like to bully other kids and get into trouble will obviously break the rules and should be suspended so their parents can deal with them and if the parents can't deal with them, there are always reform schools. These children/young adults should not be allowed back into the public school system - forget a warning! Now I am just waiting for schools in all states to follow suit!!!!!!!!!!
For a hug, high-five, pat on the back, etc.?
Maybe every state could take the TX approach and ship them all off to reform schools and/or have a police officer give them tickets with fines for touching the other kids. That'll teach them. Once the dropout rate and prison population both triple, will that be enough for you to see how insane this is?
And I got news for you...school has ALWAYS been partly about socialization.
Last edited by afoigrokerkok; 04-03-2009 at 07:57 AM..
By standing up for 'no tolerance' policies such as this you have determined that kids don't need to be touching each other for any reason. Neither out of anger and malice nor out of friendship and kindness. You have lumped them both together as wrong.
Don't you know that most changes that have long term impact on societies are incremental, not clear and decisive moments in time? Frogs in a pot of water.... Apparently you are just enjoying the nice warm swim and encouraging others to join you in the pot.
Once again, you have no idea what I am determining or lumping together.
When my two oldest were 13 and 14 had I told them there was a new policy at school and they were not to "touch" or horseplay with other students during school hours there wouldn't be a problem. They are old enough to understand and accept. If they want to high five, pat on the back, hold hands, whatever, after school hours, great.
Lessons about respect, comfort, touch, have to come from the home long before these kids are 13 and 14. Following a rule at school, does not mean kids have no need to be lovingly touched. No, it doesn't mean I have determined that kids don't need to be touching each other for any reasons.
This is a reflection on kids and parenting today. Education is already going down the tubes, because kids are not learning how to behave and respect from home. Children are at school to get an education!
Let's not go overboard, shall we.
Last edited by usmcfamily; 04-03-2009 at 08:30 AM..
Please don't put words in my mouth. I never said touching wasn't necessary or even that I agreed with this new restriction. Quote me once please where I said that..............
All I am saying is that I don't think this is the end of society as we know it because one school doesn't want 13 and 14 year olds to touch each other.
"I agree with you 100% - there are so many more parents out there like us that may be just frustrate and given up hope. We are here to speak for them.... And unlike the unbehaved childs' parents or the bullys' parents - we will not back down!"
Maybe every state could take the TX approach and ship them all off to reform schools and/or have a police officer give them tickets with fines for touching the other kids. That'll teach them. Once the dropout rate and prison population both triple, will that be enough for you to see how insane this is?
And I got news for you...school has ALWAYS been partly about socialization.
"I reiterate if you are not one of the parents whose child is always in the deans office, always bullying other kids or always bringing home failed report cards - (I am in no way insinuating your child is any of the above). If you are, I sympathize with you and REPEAT a public school will not get your child to do any of the above things; Professional help will. The parents whose children do well in school, respect authority and interact appropriately with other children and teachers will not have a problem with the rule set forth by the administration... Upholding socialization above a childs' grade point average is what got public schools into this mess in the first place" Good luck to you...
The even sadder part of all this is kids are displaying the severe need for affection at school because they do not get it in the home. Parents today are so overwhelmed with their own bagagge... I have added a Disclaimer below:
Disclaimer:
"Parents: Please love your children and stop blaming the school system for your shortcomings"
Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily
Once again, you have no idea what I am determining or lumping together.
When my two oldest were 13 and 14 had I told them there was a new policy at school and they were not to "touch" or horseplay with other students during school hours there wouldn't be a problem. They are old enough to understand and accept. If they want to high five, pat on the back, hold hands, whatever, after school hours, great.
Lessons about respect, comfort, touch, have to come from the home long before these kids are 13 and 14. Following a rule at school, does not mean kids have no need to be lovingly touched. No, it doesn't mean I have determined that kids don't need to be touching each other for any reasons.
This is a reflection on kids and parenting today. Education is already going down the tubes, because kids are not learning how to behave and respect from home. Children are at school to get an education!
Guess what? In my state, our school had for so many years made taboo the subject of sex. Can’t do it and can’t talk about it. Boys and girls can’t touch each other. Two things happened: we became the number one county for teen pregnancy rate and some girls (truly just friends by the way) took a stand and would make out in the hallway with each other because they knew the teacher would be made very uncomfortable about the situation.
My best friend was a boy. He had a troubled home life so he had moved out to live with his grandparents. They truly were his parents for him. When his grandfather died, he held his grandma up but had no one to hold him up. The next day at school, I just stood in the hallway and held him. The second the physical action of touching happened, his shoulders just sagged and he held back for all it was worth. Poor kid.
Kids need to be touched. Especially troubled kids. Its that physical little touch on the arm when you can see the troubling look in their eye that can sometimes open them up. I read about a guy who reached down to hug a little girl who had gotten hurt and his wife reprimanded him and told him to watch out because he could be arrested for it.
I am really beginning to think that there shall be NO teachers, principles, or administrators privileged with the opportunity to shape the future of your children’s lives for a full time jobs worth of hours without a child psychology degree. I am willing to bet that they would take a more proactive approach and spend a little time every day teaching the power of touch. Touch is a powerful thing and can be used for good or bad.
Your friend needed a professional therapist/psychologist etc.. to talk to because of his home situation before his educational needs could even be met. Parent, caregivers, guardians please do not be afraid to seek professional help for your children. The school system is for educational purposes, not emotional. This touching story is the story for too many kids today with no parents in the picture to guide them, parents that don't care or grandparents left to pick up the pieces of a broken child. PLEASE if you are reading this, advise children or a caregiver in this situation to seek help from a professional....
Quote:
Originally Posted by flik_becky
Guess what? In my state, our school had for so many years made taboo the subject of sex. Can’t do it and can’t talk about it. Boys and girls can’t touch each other. Two things happened: we became the number one county for teen pregnancy rate and some girls (truly just friends by the way) took a stand and would make out in the hallway with each other because they knew the teacher would be made very uncomfortable about the situation.
My best friend was a boy. He had a troubled home life so he had moved out to live with his grandparents. They truly were his parents for him. When his grandfather died, he held his grandma up but had no one to hold him up. The next day at school, I just stood in the hallway and held him. The second the physical action of touching happened, his shoulders just sagged and he held back for all it was worth. Poor kid.
Kids need to be touched. Especially troubled kids. Its that physical little touch on the arm when you can see the troubling look in their eye that can sometimes open them up. I read about a guy who reached down to hug a little girl who had gotten hurt and his wife reprimanded him and told him to watch out because he could be arrested for it.
I am really beginning to think that there shall be NO teachers, principles, or administrators privileged with the opportunity to shape the future of your children’s lives for a full time jobs worth of hours without a child psychology degree. I am willing to bet that they would take a more proactive approach and spend a little time every day teaching the power of touch. Touch is a powerful thing and can be used for good or bad.
Your friend needed a professional therapist/psychologist etc.. to talk to because of his home situation before his educational needs could even be met - he/she should have never stepped foot into a school without his/her personal situation being addressed first. Parents, caregivers, guardians please do not be afraid to seek professional help for your children. The school system is for educational purposes, not emotional. This touching story is the story for too many kids today with no parents in the picture to guide them, parents that don't care or grandparents left to pick up the pieces of a broken child. PLEASE if you are reading this, advise children or a caregiver in this situation to seek help from a professional....
Quote:
Originally Posted by flik_becky
Guess what? In my state, our school had for so many years made taboo the subject of sex. Can’t do it and can’t talk about it. Boys and girls can’t touch each other. Two things happened: we became the number one county for teen pregnancy rate and some girls (truly just friends by the way) took a stand and would make out in the hallway with each other because they knew the teacher would be made very uncomfortable about the situation.
My best friend was a boy. He had a troubled home life so he had moved out to live with his grandparents. They truly were his parents for him. When his grandfather died, he held his grandma up but had no one to hold him up. The next day at school, I just stood in the hallway and held him. The second the physical action of touching happened, his shoulders just sagged and he held back for all it was worth. Poor kid.
Kids need to be touched. Especially troubled kids. Its that physical little touch on the arm when you can see the troubling look in their eye that can sometimes open them up. I read about a guy who reached down to hug a little girl who had gotten hurt and his wife reprimanded him and told him to watch out because he could be arrested for it.
I am really beginning to think that there shall be NO teachers, principles, or administrators privileged with the opportunity to shape the future of your children’s lives for a full time jobs worth of hours without a child psychology degree. I am willing to bet that they would take a more proactive approach and spend a little time every day teaching the power of touch. Touch is a powerful thing and can be used for good or bad.
Guess what? In my state, our school had for so many years made taboo the subject of sex. Can’t do it and can’t talk about it. Boys and girls can’t touch each other. Two things happened: we became the number one county for teen pregnancy rate and some girls (truly just friends by the way) took a stand and would make out in the hallway with each other because they knew the teacher would be made very uncomfortable about the situation.
My best friend was a boy. He had a troubled home life so he had moved out to live with his grandparents. They truly were his parents for him. When his grandfather died, he held his grandma up but had no one to hold him up. The next day at school, I just stood in the hallway and held him. The second the physical action of touching happened, his shoulders just sagged and he held back for all it was worth. Poor kid.
Kids need to be touched. Especially troubled kids. Its that physical little touch on the arm when you can see the troubling look in their eye that can sometimes open them up. I read about a guy who reached down to hug a little girl who had gotten hurt and his wife reprimanded him and told him to watch out because he could be arrested for it.
I am really beginning to think that there shall be NO teachers, principles, or administrators privileged with the opportunity to shape the future of your children’s lives for a full time jobs worth of hours without a child psychology degree. I am willing to bet that they would take a more proactive approach and spend a little time every day teaching the power of touch. Touch is a powerful thing and can be used for good or bad.
Your friend needed a professional therapist/psychologist etc.. to talk to because of his home situation before his educational needs could even be met - he/she should have never stepped foot into a school without his/her personal situation being addressed first. Parents, caregivers, guardians please do not be afraid to seek professional help for your children. The school system is for educational purposes, not emotional. This touching story is the story for too many kids today with no parents in the picture to guide them, parents that don't care or grandparents left to pick up the pieces of a broken child. PLEASE if you are reading this, advise children or a caregiver in this situation to seek help from a professional....
Lets analyize this students day for a minute. He lived in the country and had to get up before 6am to catch the school bus. Likewise, he got home very late, just in time for supper. After that, he did homework until well beyond bedtime because he was not allowed to use spare time in school to catch up on other classes besides the one he was in. When did he have the time to sit and speak with a "professional."
He was a high IQ student that may have benefited from therapy, but he was very mature and understood very well that his situation was not healthy for him and had the maturity to sit with the adults in his life to find a solution that worked for him. He was living very happily with his granparents, encouraged to continue his education and had a moment in his life when the "real world" came up and slapped him in the face. He did not need therapy because he was greiving. He needed a friend for just a few moments to reach out to him, touch him and hold tell him everything would be ok, even as that friend cried with him. A cold, none touching psychologist sitting across a table in a nuetral room would not have made him feelbetter.
I was also very mature for my age. While I helped many peers, younger and older, when dealing with life issues, I knew the point when to put them into the hands of the professionals, when nothing anyone could say, when no hug could help, when no "I understand" look in your eyes to them across the room could help them. Break ups, some family troubles and deaths are not always needing of a professionals assistance.
To compare that to adulthood. I worked with a 19 year old whose friend died. She was only allowed one day off from work. She stood and cried all day. Finally I went up to her and said, "It hasn't been easy for you has it?" She repeated three times "I don't know what to do." I told her "You're suppose to grieve right now." And she just collapsed in my arms bawling. I held her, petting her hair, with tears welling in my own eyes. In that moment, although not much older than I, it was if I was holding my own little girl. When she started to regain herself, I over ruled my boss and sent her home for the week, and covered her shifts. Later in a meeting, he decided to pick it apart in front of my work peers. He said she was being immature and that no one could tell at work when his dog died. I stood up to him and said "That girl could have been your daughter, your neice or your son's friend. Everyone handles grief differently based on life experiences. That girl NEEDED time to grieve." Imagine how it went over when my own mother in law died a few weeks later. In the room as well was a guy who was just enraged by this as he had his son die at birth that year, and other problems out of his hands as well.
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Dear USMCfamily from Mom2B
Good Luck to you...
