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Kids will, usually, fit with one group better than another. It's unusual for them to span age groups. Issues often arise later, as has been mentioned before, when they're involved with things like sports. Even academics can become an issue of they haven't developed the skills necessary for, say, abstract reasoning in algebra.
Really? My kids have no problem playing with kids of all ages. Today we had a big homeschool playdate with about 15 kids from toddler up to age 8, and no child was left out. My six year old played with the two year old as well as a group of 8 year old boys... and they had no problem including her in their play. I think that what you are referring to is caused by the age segregation in school, can be overcome, and is not a reason to hold a child back.
i started school in another country but i came back to the US soon after and had to repeat kindergarten here. going through school was interesting because i was a year older than most kids in my class. it didn't bother me at first until i was in 7th grade. many of my classmates were still 12, when i was 13.
i went to a junior high (7th and 8th grade) and met many people who were the same age as me but were in the 8th grade. i felt more connected with 8th graders instead of 7th graders (even though they weren't much younger). so i asked my mom to see if i can get promoted to the 8th grade... the administration went through my papers and i was promoted the latter part of the school year.
i wouldn't say i skipped a grade but was just promoted.
when i started, it was strange at first but i quickly adjusted. i was glad to make the change. it was a benefit because it helped me academically and socially.
wow, didn't mean to make that into a novel but what parents can do is to be supportive of your children if they are interested. talk to them and make sure they can handle it. if it looks like they can, go for it. if not, at least the thought was not ignored.
good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by donalduckmoore
What can parents or children do to skip a grade if they think the child's academic standard is above the designated grade level?
Last edited by Unruly Sky; 05-22-2009 at 01:15 AM..
Reason: missing words
Really? My kids have no problem playing with kids of all ages. Today we had a big homeschool playdate with about 15 kids from toddler up to age 8, and no child was left out. My six year old played with the two year old as well as a group of 8 year old boys... and they had no problem including her in their play. I think that what you are referring to is caused by the age segregation in school, can be overcome, and is not a reason to hold a child back.
The age issues are more pronounced as they enter the teen years. You don't want your 11 year old hanging out regularly with 15 year olds. There is just too much pressure after puberty.
Really? My kids have no problem playing with kids of all ages. Today we had a big homeschool playdate with about 15 kids from toddler up to age 8, and no child was left out. My six year old played with the two year old as well as a group of 8 year old boys... and they had no problem including her in their play. I think that what you are referring to is caused by the age segregation in school, can be overcome, and is not a reason to hold a child back.
But which group do they identify with?
And no, I'm not referring to age segregation. My daughters attend a school with two to three grade levels in a classroom, which allows students to work on the material at the level they need subject by subject and still keep them with their peers.
What is the advantage of pushing a child forward, academically, and pushing them ahead peerwise? Most kids develop, socially, along a similar timeline. Some gifted kids may develop faster but you'll know that because they'll identify with older kids. This is why my daughter was grade skipped.
I see an advantage in children being allowed to develop with peers who are going through the same developmental phases they are. I'm a high school teacher and I have, previously, home schooled kids in my classes who didn't have that. They tend to be isolated. They don't seem to have a lot in common with their peers, even the older ones. Of course, my sample set it small right now. We'll see if that trend continues over the years.
The age issues are more pronounced as they enter the teen years. You don't want your 11 year old hanging out regularly with 15 year olds. There is just too much pressure after puberty.
I agree. Had my dd not just missed the cut off to be in the next grade up, we would not have allowed her grade skip. It's not too much of an issue since my family goes through puberty young. I'm still not looking forward to pressures to date at younger ages and I'm not real sure about her going to college at 17 but she'll have all the kids with fall birthdays in that boat too.
She was so distraught about her friends moving up without her that it seemed the right thing to do at the time and it has worked out well for the past two years. We'll see what happens as she moves into high school. That will be the true test of whether or not we did the right thing. Academically, I'm not worried. Socially I am but she's always been able to get along with everyone so we'll see.
My older daughter struggles so much, socially, I would never have considered this for her.
I see an advantage in children being allowed to develop with peers who are going through the same developmental phases they are. I'm a high school teacher and I have, previously, home schooled kids in my classes who didn't have that. They tend to be isolated. They don't seem to have a lot in common with their peers, even the older ones. Of course, my sample set it small right now. We'll see if that trend continues over the years.
Well this would be just dandy IF children all developed lock step by age....but they don't. Yet, schools segregate by age, argueing the importance of the peer relationships. Maturity isn't measured on a growth chart or age scale.
I strongly suspect you are misjudging the reason that your formerly home schooled students don't fit in well with their 'peers'. If you plucked one of your government school students out and put them in a group of home schoolers he would most likely feel isolated for a while as well. He wouldn't be used to interacting with a mixed group just as home school students are not used to age only peers. It's a different kind of socialization. My kids had to overcome a lot of ridiculous stereotyping when they started government school, even from the teachers....like they hadn't been socialized and they probably weren't up to grade level and they probably didn't understand things like tests, note taking and homework because they had never been to real school before. It's true they were not socialized the same as the rest of the kids...they had to learn to dumb things down and pay more attention to American Idol because that was what their peers thought was important. One of my kids accurately described the condition of the majority of his peers, they know more and care more about American Idol than they do American History. They had to learn to deal with kids who were openly disrespectful and defiant and mean to each other, kids who talked bad about their teachers parents and siblings, picked on other kids to feel secure about themselves. Kids who cared more about their hair or which boy was cute than paying attention in class. It's true, they didn't have a lot in common with their government school peers.
I'm happy to say that my kids have still not fully adjusted to government school socialization...if they did I'd have to pull them out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
The age issues are more pronounced as they enter the teen years. You don't want your 11 year old hanging out regularly with 15 year olds. There is just too much pressure after puberty.
So what about my 14 yo who hasn't entered puberty yet? Do I let her hang out with 14-15 yo girls who are well into puberty? Should I keep her with 10-11 yo's who are her physical peers, so she won't be pressured by those girls who have started puberty? What if you have two daughters, one 11 and one 15...do they have to stop hanging out with each other? This makes no sense whatsoever.
The ability to fit into a peer/social group isn't defined by age or even physical development (unless you've been raised in government schools and that's all you know how to do). Emotional and social development can actually be stunted by segregating kids by age....things tend to be geared for the lowest common denominator. If you want your kids to be well socialized they need to be exposed to a wider age group, where they are more likely to find their actual peers, regardless of age. Kids who are a little more mature will encourage/challenge them to mature yet they will be able to relate/interact with less mature kids as well.
Again, how many of us, as adults, are only fit in with people our own age? It's a very shortsighted way to define a social group, at any age.
i started school in another country but i came back to the US soon after and had to repeat kindergarten here. going through school was interesting because i was a year older than most kids in my class. it didn't bother me at first until i was in 7th grade. many of my classmates were still 12, when i was 13.
i went to a junior high (7th and 8th grade) and met many people who were the same age as me but were in the 8th grade. i felt more connected with 8th graders instead of 7th graders (even though they weren't much younger). so i asked my mom to see if i can get promoted to the 8th grade... the administration went through my papers and i was promoted the latter part of the school year.
i wouldn't say i skipped a grade but was just promoted.
when i started, it was strange at first but i quickly adjusted. i was glad to make the change. it was a benefit because it helped me academically and socially.
wow, didn't mean to make that into a novel but what parents can do is to be supportive of your children if they are interested. talk to them and make sure they can handle it. if it looks like they can, go for it. if not, at least the thought was not ignored.
good luck.
I think that by early adolescence parents are better able to assess the appropriateness of moving a child ahead a grade. They will already know what the child's personality, and interests are by that time.
I don't think it's ALWAYS wrong to move a child ahead, but I think it is a very difficult thing to assess in a really young kid.
Better safe than sorry- let the child stay where they are. I think the majority of cases of children being double promoted is more to feed the ego of the parent than for the benefit of the child.
I can take my situation I remember when I was in the Kindergarten the principle called my mom and asked her if I could be skipped to 3rd grade. I remember her asking me if I wanted to be with older kids and my older brother, who was in the 3rd grade. At first she said yeas but than she asked the principle if I could take a week in the 3rd grade class before she made3 a finalo decision and that week I remember that they were doing multipication with numbers larger than 9 and that was easy cause I would do my brothers homework with him, but there was a problem with my social skills I Liked Barney and they liked the Power Rangers which totally put us at different social aspects so my mom asked could I go back to Kindergarden so that I can develop normally with my peers.
I already started school early because my birthday is in September so I was like two days away from my 5th Birthday when they asked did I want to moved to a different grade. But I have also met many other people who have done really well in Primary school who skipped a grade and there social is great so I can say that it is child by child
I think that by early adolescence parents are better able to assess the appropriateness of moving a child ahead a grade. They will already know what the child's personality, and interests are by that time.
I don't think it's ALWAYS wrong to move a child ahead, but I think it is a very difficult thing to assess in a really young kid.
I agree. I know a kid who started middle school (6th grade) and was taking so many 7th grade classes that they moved her up to 7th. It worked out fine, unlike the kid I know who was accelerated in kindergarten.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldenfatt
Better safe than sorry- let the child stay where they are. I think the majority of cases of children being double promoted is more to feed the ego of the parent than for the benefit of the child.
I definitely agree with that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank
Well this would be just dandy IF children all developed lock step by age....but they don't. Yet, schools segregate by age, argueing the importance of the peer relationships. Maturity isn't measured on a growth chart or age scale.
<snip>
So what about my 14 yo who hasn't entered puberty yet? Do I let her hang out with 14-15 yo girls who are well into puberty? Should I keep her with 10-11 yo's who are her physical peers, so she won't be pressured by those girls who have started puberty? What if you have two daughters, one 11 and one 15...do they have to stop hanging out with each other? This makes no sense whatsoever.
<snip>
The ability to fit into a peer/social group isn't defined by age or even physical development (unless you've been raised in government schools and that's all you know how to do). Emotional and social development can actually be stunted by segregating kids by age....things tend to be geared for the lowest common denominator. If you want your kids to be well socialized they need to be exposed to a wider age group, where they are more likely to find their actual peers, regardless of age. Kids who are a little more mature will encourage/challenge them to mature yet they will be able to relate/interact with less mature kids as well.
Again, how many of us, as adults, are only fit in with people our own age? It's a very shortsighted way to define a social group, at any age.
First, I would say, skip the rhetoric about "government schools". Secondly, no, kids don't all develop in lockstep, but the development unfolds in the same way for all of them (assuming we're talking about healthy kids here). Most people are familiar with the old saying "you have to learn to walk before you learn to run". In other words, the sequence is the same, even if the rate isn't. Also, even in a single grade classroom, the oldest and the youngest can be a year apart.
A lot of puberty is psychological, not physical. My younger daughter had her first date before she ever got her period. (She was 14 at the time.) Of course siblings hang out with each other, but seriously, has your older child never called your younger one a baby or some such term? What is good in a social situation, and I would agree that mixed ages are good in that venue, is not always appropriate in a learning situation, especially in single grade classrooms.
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It's true they were not socialized the same as the rest of the kids...they had to learn to dumb things down and pay more attention to American Idol because that was what their peers thought was important. One of my kids accurately described the condition of the majority of his peers, they know more and care more about American Idol than they do American History. They had to learn to deal with kids who were openly disrespectful and defiant and mean to each other, kids who talked bad about their teachers parents and siblings, picked on other kids to feel secure about themselves. Kids who cared more about their hair or which boy was cute than paying attention in class. It's true, they didn't have a lot in common with their government school peers. 
