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hi all - I am currently in CT where the cut off to start kindergarten was 12/31. After much deliberation, we decided to send my boy/girl twins to kindergraten when they were 4 (turning 5 in mid-October). It was the right decision for my daughter, who is very advanced, academically and socially. For my son, the jury is still out, though he has done very well and is starting to come into his own now that he's in 2nd grade here in CT.
Long story short, we are moving to VA which has a cut off of Sept. 30, so if they continued in 2nd grade, they will be by far the youngest, probably by several months due to many parents holding back summer birthdays. Again, this is a non-issue with my daughter but for my son, he could really use the extra time. I am not going to split them up.
I spoke to the principal at the new school, and she left it up to us whether they should be in 1st or 2nd grade, but definitely leaned towards having them repeat 1st grade due to the age difference in 2nd.
Assuming the school they are in and the school they are going to are equivalently strong, what would you do?
I am leaning towards repeating 1st for the following reasons:
1. Of all the grades to repeat, it's probably the least disruptive. Yes they can read chapter books, but they will be able to read on their own level in the new school. They could definitly use the extra help on math and the curriculum is different enough that i don't think they will be bored.
2. Since we are relocating to a new state, I think they will be more confident if they are among the older of the kids, and I'd rather them be able to focus on developing friendships this year, than worrying too much about academics.
3. It would very easily correct a potential wrong with my son...I really did want to hold him, but didn't want to hold her, and didn't want to split them, so she won the day and they went.
4. I feel that i could busy them with outside enrichment to keep the challenged if the school can't.
I used to teach and have children with summer birthdays (last days of August). I have to say what influenced my decision the most was that in all my days of teaching, I never ran into a parent who told me how glad they were that they "pushed the child ahead". I did however on a regular basis hear parents lament not waiting the extra year.
Besides who wants to bail his/her 20 year old out of jail when all his/her friends are able to get into the bars legally!
By the way, read the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. That will make your decision for you. It discusses the advantages children unintentionally get by being physically and mentally more capable just by virtue of being the oldest in his/her age group peers.
thanks, I had no regrets about sending them when I did, but I feel like if it could relatively painlessly give him back that year, why shouldn't i?
Of course my daughter's teacher flipped out at the thought of putting her back in 1st grade since she is so advanced in her reading, writing as well as socially. UGH!
As a parent whose daughter was skipped to first grade due to testing. I choosed after a couple of weeks of school to give her a year of growing up by placing her in kindergarten class. My daughter did not have the maturity of the other children and we did not want her to suffer. Although the work was easier in kindergarten, it allowed her to mature with the students in her age bracket. We heard all the negative stuff from family and friends, but the choice is yours.
Also, your child will not loose any of her reading and writing skills.
I made the mistake of starting my September 11th child earlier. Academically he either does okay or performs well - depending on the mood he is in, but socially I think he is immature. It is still difficult to tell as overall he has an unusual personality. I wanted to have him repeat a second year of first grade for social reasons, and because of the "older, bigger, stronger" syndrome. When I began telling him my thoughts he was so disappointed and dejected - I will never forget him crying hysterically and saying - I did all my work, and I worked hard - why do I have to do 1st grade again. I let them promote him and im just working with him.
That being said - i dont think its a decision you make in isolation - you should feel the kids out -I was afraid he would have been discouraged had I kept him back and it would have been more detrimental in the long run.
My kids have been prepared for this for two years now, because we've been trying to move since then. I told them in VA you can't start kindergarten when you did here in CT so everyone will be older than you. That said, i asked them what they wanted to do (and I was not leaning either way at the time) and my daugher (of all people) said she'd rather be the oldest in class than the youngest so she would be fine with doing 1st grade again. My son initially said 2nd grade but he really doesn't have a strong opinion on it. I've told them they'll be in 1st grade in VA and they are completely fine with it, and when someone asked my son why he'd be in 1st grade, he said "they have different laws in VA"
My kids have been prepared for this for two years now, because we've been trying to move since then. I told them in VA you can't start kindergarten when you did here in CT so everyone will be older than you. That said, i asked them what they wanted to do (and I was not leaning either way at the time) and my daugher (of all people) said she'd rather be the oldest in class than the youngest so she would be fine with doing 1st grade again. My son initially said 2nd grade but he really doesn't have a strong opinion on it. I've told them they'll be in 1st grade in VA and they are completely fine with it, and when someone asked my son why he'd be in 1st grade, he said "they have different laws in VA"
Then I would definitely do it. I do not think you will regret it at all - for either child.
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