Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
US has plenty of personal space, alright. It also has the loneliest, most isolated, egoistic and egocentric population in the world.
I haven't experienced that as an American. I have a large family, a large group of friends, and plenty of social interaction as well as very deep and meaningful relationships with a few special people in my life. As do my friends and acquaintances. I don't know where you're getting these ideas but maybe you should hang around a better group of people.
Quote:
Families are often 2000 miles apart, and meet once a year for Thanksgiving (if they have good relations)
I have immediate family in Guam, England, Korea, Ohio, Arkansas and Texas, and cousins scattered from California to New Jersey. That being said, we enjoy good relationships. We make it a priority to get together as often as possible, ESPECIALLY but not limited to holidays. My husband and I went to England just a few months ago to see kids and grandkids. I just got back from out of state visiting my parents, whom I visit once a month. I just got off Skype with my daughter in England - we were on it for three hours in fact. Just a couple of days ago, I spent three hours on Skype with my other daughter in Guam and all her kids. My parents skype with them as well, for hours at a time. I talked with my son in Guam for two hours yesterday on the phone. My daughter by the way is moving back from England to the US and is planning on buying a home in our town so that the kids can grow up around extended family. My husband and I went down to New Orleans just last month to spend some time with one of my cousins. The month before that, my mother's family came in from Florida and Texas and Lousiana and we spent several days together. It's a challenge, but we make it work.
Quote:
You hardly ever know\talk to your neighbors: "my home is my castle", "good fences make good neighbors" to cite some popular sayings.
This hasn't been my experience. The women in my neighborhood get together fairly often for lunch. We have neighborhood parties several times a year. We have a neighborhood FB page and keep each other updated as well. My neighbor from across the street just came over two days ago and we spent the afternoon chatting and drinking coffee. We help each other out in times of sickness or when we're on vacation - watching each others' homes, watering plants, etc. I'm getting together with friends tonight to watch a playoff game. Life is good.
Quote:
Estimated 10% of the population is on prescription psychedelic drugs to deal with the loneliness and isolation.
Quote:
Most everybody else in on either alcohol and\or illicit drugs like marijuana to deal with the same problem.
I guess I don't know these people.
Quote:
People spend long days at work, drive their monstrous 12 MPG SUVs back to their mcMansion, and turn on the television to drown the senselessness of their reality with the fake upbeat chatter "we're #1", "we're family oriented culture".
Quote:
They give away old junk to Salvation Army and pat themselves on the backs "we're a compassionate nation", while at the same time fighting every social-welfare program proposed or existing.
Don't believe everything you read. And if you KNOW people who live like this, get yourself some new friends.
Quote:
Perhaps. They probably also also believe that Hollywood movies and Disneyland are an accurate representation of the life in the United States for the average US-American. What they actually see are Potemkin villages. Nicely painted wooden structures hiding empty interiors.
Actually, the friends I'm talking about in particular have lived in the US during college, and/or worked in the US off and on over the years. They vacation in the US for a month at a time about every other year, and they avoid tourist traps like the plague. They're much more well informed about the realities of life in the US than many of their European counterparts.
Quote:
Alas, if you were born and raised in the US, especially in a place as xenophobic and chauvinistic as Texas (was the 4th of July the reason for that flag?) , and hear from the day you are born "US is the greatest country in the world", you will never understand it. Visiting foreign countries as a tourist does not count - the impressions you get is similarly shallow.
I am not from Texas but I got here as fast as I could. I am a former military brat and then a military spouse. I have lived literally all over the world, as a child and then as an adult. My husband works in an industry that has sent him literally all over the world, to over 40 countries (not the military). Consequently, he and I travel extensively.
I think YOU may be the one clinging to shallow stereotypes.
Alas, if you were born and raised in the US, especially in a place as xenophobic and chauvinistic as Texas (was the 4th of July the reason for that flag?) , and hear from the day you are born "US is the greatest country in the world", you will never understand it. Visiting foreign countries as a tourist does not count - the impressions you get is similarly shallow.
As a European, I have quite good memories about Texas(Austin). We made several friends over there and got invited for dinner many times, things that would never happen so easily over here. I can't say we noticed anything xenophobic or chauvinistic, except that they like to mention Texas does much better economically than the rest of the US. We even would have liked to have stayed permanently but unfortunately there were no jobs available in my field(software engineer).
I get what you are saying about Hollywood and Disneyland determining foreigner’s views on the US. The media always shows Desperate-Housewives-alike perfectly maintained mansions in super clean streets. Although streets like that do exist, in my experience 99% of the US is nothing like that. There are lots of middle class, lower middle class and poor residential areas instead with doubtful building quality overall.
Anyway, on topic: It seems most of the irritations between continents arise from differences in greeting etiquette and that the openness and friendlieness(albeit fake or not) Americans have is not appreciated in Europe and the other way around, the reservedness and the unwillingness to chat with total strangers Europeans have is perceived as rudeness by Americans.
I guess that when you were not integrated into your neighborhoods in Europe, that was probably your fault.
LOL right. Case closed. I did not leave my home country because I despised it so it can't be my fault now, can it? Just wanted to point out that you can have the exact same experiences on both sides of the pond. It depends more on the individual people you meet than on a certain country's culture. Especially since, like I said, the US is a European-derived country, so there are a lot more similarities than differences. For the most part Europeans and Americans lead a very very similar lifestyle when it comes to consumerism, social interactions and other things.
LOL right. Case closed. I did not leave my home country because I despised it so it can't be my fault now, can it? Just wanted to point out that you can have the exact same experiences on both sides of the pond. It depends more on the individual people you meet than on a certain country's culture. Especially since, like I said, the US is a European-derived country, so there are a lot more similarities than differences. For the most part Europeans and Americans lead a very very similar lifestyle when it comes to consumerism, social interactions and other things.
The problem with that view is that Europeans don't have a common way of life. Social life etc. varies a lot across Europe, much more so than within the US. People from places like Spain or Portugal for instance feel more at home in South America than in the US or Germany.
Location: Near Tours, France about 47°10'N 0°25'E
2,825 posts, read 5,271,667 times
Reputation: 1957
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling
The problem with that view is that Europeans don't have a common way of life. Social life etc. varies a lot across Europe, much more so than within the US. People from places like Spain or Portugal for instance feel more at home in South America than in the US or Germany.
Yes, I'm always surprised so many people on this forum can't understand that Europe is not a country.
The problem with that view is that Europeans don't have a common way of life. Social life etc. varies a lot across Europe, much more so than within the US. People from places like Spain or Portugal for instance feel more at home in South America than in the US or Germany.
The majority of Europeans lives in Northern and Western Europe, not in Italy, Spain and Portugal, so my argument still stands. Oh, and I highly doubt that a Spaniard feels much more at home in Bolivia or Peru than in Germany.
And yes, I am aware that Europe is not a country, french user. And I also see the differences between countries like the UK and Portugal. Still, there are much more similarities, no matter how hard you struggle to prove the opposite. Spain and Norway have more in common than Spain and Japan. Because they are European.
I haven't experienced that as an American. I have a large family, a large group of friends, and plenty of social interaction as well as very deep and meaningful relationships with a few special people in my life. As do my friends and acquaintances. I don't know where you're getting these ideas but maybe you should hang around a better group of people.
I have immediate family in Guam, England, Korea, Ohio, Arkansas and Texas, and cousins scattered from California to New Jersey. That being said, we enjoy good relationships. We make it a priority to get together as often as possible, ESPECIALLY but not limited to holidays. My husband and I went to England just a few months ago to see kids and grandkids. I just got back from out of state visiting my parents, whom I visit once a month. I just got off Skype with my daughter in England - we were on it for three hours in fact. Just a couple of days ago, I spent three hours on Skype with my other daughter in Guam and all her kids. My parents skype with them as well, for hours at a time. I talked with my son in Guam for two hours yesterday on the phone. My daughter by the way is moving back from England to the US and is planning on buying a home in our town so that the kids can grow up around extended family. My husband and I went down to New Orleans just last month to spend some time with one of my cousins. The month before that, my mother's family came in from Florida and Texas and Lousiana and we spent several days together. It's a challenge, but we make it work.
This hasn't been my experience. The women in my neighborhood get together fairly often for lunch. We have neighborhood parties several times a year. We have a neighborhood FB page and keep each other updated as well. My neighbor from across the street just came over two days ago and we spent the afternoon chatting and drinking coffee. We help each other out in times of sickness or when we're on vacation - watching each others' homes, watering plants, etc. I'm getting together with friends tonight to watch a playoff game. Life is good.
I guess I don't know these people.
Don't believe everything you read. And if you KNOW people who live like this, get yourself some new friends.
Actually, the friends I'm talking about in particular have lived in the US during college, and/or worked in the US off and on over the years. They vacation in the US for a month at a time about every other year, and they avoid tourist traps like the plague. They're much more well informed about the realities of life in the US than many of their European counterparts.
I am not from Texas but I got here as fast as I could. I am a former military brat and then a military spouse. I have lived literally all over the world, as a child and then as an adult. My husband works in an industry that has sent him literally all over the world, to over 40 countries (not the military). Consequently, he and I travel extensively.
I think YOU may be the one clinging to shallow stereotypes.
Kathryn, while I am in no way trying to dismiss your life experience, I can see the OTHER part of America, the one skiffrace was talking about. Your advise to "move away" from the "wrong kind of people" or to "find other friends" doesn't make this side of American life disappear.
It's still there, as much as your circle of friends or friendly, engaging neighbors.
The majority of Europeans lives in Northern and Western Europe, not in Italy, Spain and Portugal, so my argument still stands. Oh, and I highly doubt that a Spaniard feels much more at home in Bolivia or Peru than in Germany.
And yes, I am aware that Europe is not a country, french user. And I also see the differences between countries like the UK and Portugal. Still, there are much more similarities, no matter how hard you struggle to prove the opposite. Spain and Norway have more in common than Spain and Japan. Because they are European.
Just because there are more Germans than Spaniards does not mean Germany is more typical European than Spain.
Spaniards probably do feel more at home in Lima or Buenos Aires than in Berlin or London. Portuguese certainly feel more at home in São Paulo or Rio than in Berlin, Amsterdam or New York.
Kathryn, while I am in no way trying to dismiss your life experience, I can see the OTHER part of America, the one skiffrace was talking about. Your advise to "move away" from the "wrong kind of people" or to "find other friends" doesn't make this side of American life disappear.
It's still there, as much as your circle of friends or friendly, engaging neighbors.
That's true of just about everywhere though. Isolation is up to the individual, and isolation can and does occur in any society. Same with superficiality. These boil down to personal values and personality, and are not "more common" in the US than in Europe. Sorry - I don't buy it. In the 21st century, every western culture has plenty of isolation and superficiality going on - I don't think the US has "more" than other western cultures.
As for "finding better friends" yes - that absolutely CAN "make that side of American life disappear - from one's own life anyway. That would apply to any country, any town, etc.
That's true of just about everywhere though. Isolation is up to the individual, and isolation can and does occur in any society. Same with superficiality. These boil down to personal values and personality, and are not "more common" in the US than in Europe. Sorry - I don't buy it. In the 21st century, every western culture has plenty of isolation and superficiality going on - I don't think the US has "more" than other western cultures.
No, I think that "isolation" is deep down primarily the English thing (and Britons are Europeans as far as I'm concerned,) so American culture being founded by the English simply couldn't avoid it all together, in spite of all McMansions, larger than life birthday parties, and all the church gatherings.
"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way" - that part is still there, although diluted somewhat by the multitude of other different nations that left their imprint on American culture.
Last edited by erasure; 01-05-2014 at 12:13 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am a former military brat and then a military spouse. I have lived literally all over the world, as a child and then as an adult. My husband works in an industry that has sent him literally all over the world, to over 40 countries (not the military). Consequently, he and I travel extensively. 
