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But people know that stuff happens and he was prepared by savings. You assume he was ready to give up but I would think he just was operating on a back up plan in confidence that he made the right choice by having it there for him.
What was his diet back up plan? I would guess none because he is still in doughnut land. Also the threat of being homeless is a whole lot more threatening and scary than just being fat. He does not have hope. plans or realize the threat to his health. Most people can not truly conceptualize what bad habits can mean for your health until they are there experiencing it. There was some write up recently on that if you want to look around for it. I thought it was interesting.
I assumed nothing. What I'm telling you is based on what he told me. After losing his job, after exhausting his savings, even after dipping into his 401k, he was reaching the point of just giving up. This isn't my opinion. These are his words. As for your second point, I think most people are smart enough to know that donuts and fast food are bad for them and that the bad habits they have today will eventually catch up with them. But one thing I hear from a lot of people is, "it's OK if I eat bad cause I have insurance." In other words, they know what they're doing is bad for them. But they figure since they have health insurance, they'll be taken care of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtneer
Myself I've run into that already with family members. I told my dad I had lost 12 lbs in past 6 weeks and he wanted to know with what and I said exercising, not eating bread, not going out to eat & not buying junkfood. His response was my stepmom had lost some weight too and she is going to a weightloss clinic getting some kind of medication for it. (OMG I can't believe they aren't making her exercise.) They are both very proud of the idea that she is taking medication to lose weight and she's not really that overweight not more than 20 lbs. But she is on BP and cholesterol meds and they eat out twice a day every day. They think my exercise is just ridiculous. I gave up on trying to get any of my friends to exercise too. None of them will! You couldn't blast some people off the couch with a stick of dynamite.
Most things in life don't come easy. You have to work hard, be patient, and deal with setbacks. The problem when it comes to weight loss is most people want the easy route. They'd rather pop a pill or eat some magic food than have to exercise and cut out the foods they love. I would love to be able to stay in shape just by taking a pill. While I enjoy working out, there are days where I wish I didn't need to do it to stay in shape. But I stick with it cause I know it works. For most people, results are very motivating. You may bust your behind for a job you hate, but it could be because it's the first step towards a better job.
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Originally Posted by riaelise
Am I one of the few people who don't get their feathers ruffled because of someone else's actions? That's their choice. If they don't want to work out in the am, then they don't. Maybe am exercise isn't their thing. It isn't mine -- I work out at lunch hour.
Just like seeing my coworkers stuffing themselves doesn't bother me an iota either. They lose weight when they decide they want to do it. And like someone said, maybe they've been through diet hell and are taking a break. Their attitude (or perceived attitude) really is no consequence to anyone here.
The issue is not that they don't exercise. The issue is the contradictions in their behavior. They'll say they want to lose weight, but their actions suggest otherwise. BTW, your coworkers' behavior does have consequences for you. I've worked at small companies where providing health insurance to all the employees was a huge burden. Each year, we'd see double digit increases in health care premiums. We had one employee who was abusing his coverage, getting all kinds of drugs and treatments he didn't need. The one thing that rarely got mentioned in all the debates about health care reform this past year is that our own collectively unhealthy lifestyle is pushing up health care costs. I generally don't preach to others on how they should live their lives. If they want to clog their arteries, that's their business. But it does bother me that I'm paying for their health issues.
I assumed nothing. What I'm telling you is based on what he told me. After losing his job, after exhausting his savings, even after dipping into his 401k, he was reaching the point of just giving up. This isn't my opinion. These are his words. As for your second point, I think most people are smart enough to know that donuts and fast food are bad for them and that the bad habits they have today will eventually catch up with them. But one thing I hear from a lot of people is, "it's OK if I eat bad cause I have insurance." In other words, they know what they're doing is bad for them. But they figure since they have health insurance, they'll be taken care of.
He reached the point but did not break....I would probably ask him why he did not. Something in life made him buckle down but it does not connect in his brain for the health aspect. Yeh people know they are bad...But its like how anyone can tell you "war is hell"...And they can share all the stories etc...But you don't really know it until you have seen it with your own eyes. Like it doesn't full sink in. Do you think he thinks about losing his leg everytime he eats a cookie? That is something I ask people who won't change and they laugh. Because it is so dramatic. But that is a very huge possibility if you have diabetes. A lot of people don't know you can go blind from that either. There is all kinds of crazy health issues that no one talks about like that. One that I used on the s.o. about his weight is what my gram said about heart attacks. This tiny woman of 4'11' birthed 3-10lb.er babies naturally and she said a heart attack hurts worse.
What I don't get is when I see people who are very unhealthy and they work in healthcare. I just went in for check ups and everyone but the doctors were fat. And not just chubby. Round. That really blows my mind. They see what its doing and still smoke and eat like crap. I really don't get that one at all myself. I probably get the same as you do about this guy. LOL
I did ask him. He said that what kept him from throwing in the towel was faith in himself. He knew that his unemployment wasn't because he was incompetent. No matter how many jobs he applied to and never heard back, he knew he was good at what he does. But when it came to his weight, I don't believe the issue was a lack of confidence in himself. Having worked with him for a number of years, I know he's someone who's not afraid to work hard and he's very patient. Some people lose confidence in themselves after enough failures. But he wasn't the type. I tend to look at failure as valuable feedback. When I was struggling with my weight, I tried all kinds of approaches that never worked. But instead of throwing my hands in the air and saying "this is hopeless," I resolved to try yet another approach. And I kept pushing myself because the goal I was pursuing was that important to me.
The average person may not look at a donut and think in terms of specific consequences like heart disease, diabetes, etc. But they know enough to know whether something's good or bad for them. When I was a kid, I didn't know what heart disease was or what caused it. I also didn't have a weight problem. But I knew that donuts were bad for me. I probably wasn't in a position to explain exactly why, but I still knew it. And it wasn't because my parents told me. It was because I looked at it and wondered what it came from. It's not meat. It's not a fruit. Frankly, I think people plead ignorance when they're really not as uninformed as they pretend to be.
As for people who work in health care, but don't seem healthy, I think it's the same problem. They can't claim ignorance since they've seen firsthand what happens if you don't take care of yourself. I think they just don't want to be healthy badly enough to make the necessary changes. Or they figure they'll start tomorrow. I suspect my ex-coworker had that attitude. He'll eat the donuts today and start eating healthy tomorrow. But then he tells himself the same thing tomorrow as well.
Did you play sports or experience large life swings (major changes) growing up? I see failure as a challenge too and I think that is one of the reasons why I get geared up from failure. Plus all the reading of various failures of people that achieved a lot in fitness and business. They fell on their butts a lot more than standing in the sun. The s.o. ,he needs that kick in the butt every once in awhile did not play sports and his life did not have dramatic swings either. I am obsessed a bit with the psychology of giving up. I have to wonder how much of it is chemical blues from eating empty cals too. If I have a couple junky days I feel all cloudy headed and less productive.
Junk food did not really seem to affect me when I was young but I ate a lot of wholesome food too and was really active. I really thought as a kid that fat people were just born like that and they were going to be like that forever. I saw fat aunts eating rice cakes and cottage cheese and all the other "gross" food I would not touch as a kid when the LF craze was going on because it tasted like plastic to me. (my mom ate a lot of it) I hear heavy people say "my metab" over and over again. I wonder if they think the same thing I did as a kid.
And then if its true that you deflated fat cells send hunger signals to the body to restore the obese weight. That is a whole different beast. And food addictions....I quit smoking so I know what a craving is like. I think I crave chocolate like that but I don't have the hunger power behind it to make it a problem.
There are studies that show the GP patients have the hunger cut because of stomach nerve damage. Not because of the small tum, but that it can send "feed me" signals to the brain. Crazy stuff....
Its just such a simple answer to "do it" and get healthy...But all these little side things are what boot people off the wagon. I think those are the things everyone had to try to figure out how to work around because there is no one perfect method.
Am I one of the few people who don't get their feathers ruffled because of someone else's actions? That's their choice. If they don't want to work out in the am, then they don't. Maybe am exercise isn't their thing. It isn't mine -- I work out at lunch hour.
Just like seeing my coworkers stuffing themselves doesn't bother me an iota either. They lose weight when they decide they want to do it. And like someone said, maybe they've been through diet hell and are taking a break. Their attitude (or perceived attitude) really is no consequence to anyone here.
Sure what others do to themselves doesn't bother me either. But what is difficult is when everyone else in your family or circle of friends eats really unhealthy and never exercises. Then if you don't go out with friends or go over to family member's house for a swimming in grease and served inside a biscuit meal then you are labeled as antisocial. Those kind of people are what drag others down when they are trying to stay on the high road to fitness. (They sabotage others.) Just like having friends who only want to sit on the couch watching movies on the weekend and will never go with you for a walk or to the gym to lift. So what do you do? Stay clear of them and suddenly you are labeled the family snob because you won't come over to eat lard and bread.
Oh...and then there's people like my mom who tries to get me to give up exercising because its "unladylike" and my dad who apparently feels threatened by a daughter who lifted weights and did martial arts 15 hrs a week. I recently told my mother off bigtime when she referred to one of my cousins as looking "plum pitiful" because he had gone off to college, apparently started working out and lost a lot of weight. He was obese most of his childhood! I don't know if its an Appalachian thing or just my weird mom's side of the family kinda thing but they equate being fat with being healthy (though none of them are healthy). So what others do or think does affect us. In other words, hard not to get frustrated.
Yep, I know what you mean...hard to soar like an eagle when you're grounded with ducks!
I quit my yoga class because my instructor and four out of five classmates were smokers. I don't judge them, but as a former smoker, I wanted to avoid the temptation and it just didn't seem to jibe with good health.
Sometimes avoidance is the better part of valor...
Were I you, when I wanted to be with my family, I'd bring my own food, and just fib a bit and say your doctor wants you to avoid high fat foods..hard to argue with what a doctor says...even if the 'doctor' happens to be you.
I quit my yoga class because my instructor and four out of five classmates were smokers.
OMG!! In all my years on this earth, and all my years doing yoga, Ive never come across a yoga instructor who smokes. Talk about the mother of all oxymorons.
Did you play sports or experience large life swings (major changes) growing up? I see failure as a challenge too and I think that is one of the reasons why I get geared up from failure. Plus all the reading of various failures of people that achieved a lot in fitness and business. They fell on their butts a lot more than standing in the sun. The s.o. ,he needs that kick in the butt every once in awhile did not play sports and his life did not have dramatic swings either. I am obsessed a bit with the psychology of giving up. I have to wonder how much of it is chemical blues from eating empty cals too. If I have a couple junky days I feel all cloudy headed and less productive.
I didn't play sports growing up and only experienced one major life challenge. Compared to a lot of people, I had things pretty easy. When I was young, I probably took things for granted, including my fast metabolism. But as I got older and realized I had to work harder to manage my weight, I learned the importance of learning not only from my failures, but from everyone else's too. When it comes to weight loss, 95% of people fail to lose weight and keep it off. A lot of people look at that figure and conclude that it's pointless to even attempt to lose weight kinda like how a lot of single people see the divorce rate and conclude that they should never get married. But I look at that 95% figure and wonder what the 5% who succeeded did differently. And so I've modeled myself after those people and customized what they did to fit my own needs.
But you're right about the impact of food on mood. The things we eat don't just affect how our body looks. It also affects how our brains work. So many of today's leading mental health problems including depression, ADHD, and even Alzheimer's are at least partly the result of what we eat. And then there's high fructose corn syrup which actually disables the body's natural hunger control mechanism. Basically, it tricks the brain into thinking you're still hungry making it more likely that you'll overeat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtneer
Sure what others do to themselves doesn't bother me either. But what is difficult is when everyone else in your family or circle of friends eats really unhealthy and never exercises. Then if you don't go out with friends or go over to family member's house for a swimming in grease and served inside a biscuit meal then you are labeled as antisocial. Those kind of people are what drag others down when they are trying to stay on the high road to fitness. (They sabotage others.) Just like having friends who only want to sit on the couch watching movies on the weekend and will never go with you for a walk or to the gym to lift. So what do you do? Stay clear of them and suddenly you are labeled the family snob because you won't come over to eat lard and bread.
I work in IT. Unfortunately, a lot of the people I've worked with fit the computer nerd stereotype. They eat junk, don't exercise, and play video games. At first, I tried to be like them cause I wanted to fit in. But I quickly realized that I'd be better off surrounding myself with people who shared the same goals as me and would be a positive influence, not a negative one. Sure, you risk losing friends. I had a number of people ridicule me for wanting to eat healthy and spend my free time working out instead of going to the bars. I didn't care. I look and feel much better now. Those guys, meanwhile, are probably still overweight and feeling like crap. With family, it's a lot harder to simply avoid them. In my family, people label me the oddball cause I'm in shape and don't eat like they do. In the beginning, they mocked me. But now they actually ask for advice, probably cause they see their bad habits catching up with them. But who you socialize with makes a huge difference. Most people I know end up looking like their friends over time. No wonder they call the obesity epidemic. It really is contagious.
How about the folks that do go to the gym, but they're just going through the motions so that they can tell their family/friends that they went to the gym? In my mind, that's self-defeating too.
I hear it every single day at my gym, a couple guys talking in the locker room and it sounds something like...
Dude A: "made it in today, eh?"
Dude B (getting ready to go home): "wheww, yeah it's been a few days, decided I better get the hell over with for this week!"
Dude A: "I hear ya man, luckily you got it over with, I still have to work out!"
Dude B: "Sucks!!! Good luck...hey, you should just go sit in the sauna for an hour then technically you spent an hour at the gym!"
Dude A: "pahahahahahahahaha YEAH that's a good idea!!!"
If you hate the gym, exercising, etc, then why waste your time? I've never understood that kind of negativity.
I really don't give a dang what the next person does if it doesn't affect me, I've just always wondered about this phenomenon. In my mind, you have to WANT to be there and do the work in order to see results, forcing it will never work.
Yep, then there are the folks who sit on adjoining machines and chat for long periods of time...please move away and let me get on with my circuit...
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as you do about this guy. LOL
when she referred to one of my cousins as looking "plum pitiful" because he had gone off to college, apparently started working out and lost a lot of weight. He was obese most of his childhood! I don't know if its an Appalachian thing or just my weird mom's side of the family kinda thing but they equate being fat with being healthy (though none of them are healthy). So what others do or think does affect us. In other words, hard not to get frustrated.
I've never understood that kind of negativity.
