[retired11]

"You know, it could be worse. You get a lot more for your money in Bolivia, I checked on it." Paul Newman

"What could they have here that you could possibly want to buy?" Robert Redford


Sunny Florida, the dream of reinvention, a new life. The palm trees rustle at night as a slight breeze blows through the parking lot. For some odd reason Floridians step directly into traffic in parking lots and expect me to stop my 4500 pound vehicle on a dime. In New York they would be squished on the pavement, but this is Florida. Just an odd habit Floridians have. I don't understand it, but I drive super super slow in parking lots here. I park way in the back too and never drive in front of the stores.

It is Pizza night, so we drive to our local Italian Pizza Parlor and order one large pie to go. The price is more or less three dollars cheaper than a NY pie. Odd, there is no Italian music playing in the background, nor is anyone spinning the dough around in the air. One guy should be spinning dough while another guy should be spreading the sauce using the back of the ladle while a third should be checking the pies in the oven and cursing at the other two guys.

No one is pushing or shoving, no one is yelling out the names of the customers, no employees search for a pie on top of the ovens. We get our pie without any drama at all, set the table, open the box and are aghast! The cheese seems to float across a sea of tomato sauce. If you move the box to the right the cheese moves right, move the box left and the cheese moves left. We try it and I do my best to say how good it tastes. The kids taste it, drop it, make faces and leave the table. Even grandma is staring at me in disbelief.

Not to be deprived of an "atta boy" for moving my family to Florida. I try to have another pizza night at another pizza parlor. Again, no spinning dough, no foul language, just one kid at the register and one kid making a pizza and me, the one customer. Oddly, this cheese doesn't float, it is crusty all around, but, the bottom is like wet cardboard. Same reaction from kids and grandma stares in disbelief.

I have tried and tried again. Up and down and across the state. I will not give up the search. It isn't that Floridians are dumb, it isn't that I can blame it on the water, it isn't that they failed pizza school. The answer is simple. No one in the pizza parlors has ever tasted a real NY pizza. It is the epitome of the saying "half ass". If you know a tire is made of rubber it does not mean you can make one in your backyard.

[PDF]

Oh boy.

[StreetLegal]

New Yawkers and their pizzas...geez did you think everything was going to be the same when you moved? There is more to life than pizza anyway...

Thanks for guzzling all that gas in your 4,500 pound vehicle...our troops overseas really appreciate it.

[STEVEN 1]

You dont go to Florida for pizza just like it would be difficult to find a Georgia peach in New York it is also hard to find New York in a state called Florida, Florida is not even in the same demographic so it's culinary offerings will differ, try something new.

[StreetSmarts]

I'm going to move to NYC and complain day in and day out about how bad the BBQ is.

[PDF]

Originally Posted by StreetSmarts

I'm going to move to NYC and complain day in and day out about how bad the BBQ is.

Good idea! And the winters.

[kmarc]

As a recovering Nooyawker who moved here many moons ago, I'd like to make retired11 feel at home.

What to do? What to do?

Not a whole lot I can do about the pizza, but I can help with the ambience. So....

TAKE THAT PIZZA AND SHOVE IT SIDEWAYS!

PS: And lose the New York Times literary style.

[Mr. Maryland]

Typical Florida fools posting in reply OP, don't let it phase you. FL is full of people who got there five minutes before you and claim to be lifelong locals. One of the favorite FL battle cry's is the excuse "This is FL! We don't do it like your state does!", a simple minded excuse for not being able to cook a dish, drive a car, maintain a beach, neighborhood, whatever.

Good pizza can be found, keep looking. Good luck!

Sincerely,
A guy with a screen name that doesn't explain that he grew up in that god forsaken state and knows more than he'd like about it.

[kmarc]

Originally Posted by STEVEN 1

You dont go to Florida for pizza just like it would be difficult to find a Georgia peach in New York it is also hard to find New York in a state called Florida, Florida is not even in the same demographic so it's culinary offerings will differ, try something new.

True story. Back in the '80s when I lived in South Florida, I had a client with a pretty thick Nooyawk accent, but I just couldn't place which borough. So I tried to draw him out by talking about Manhattan and the other boroughs to see if he lit up on any of them, and all I got was a polite blank expression.

Finally, I gave up in frustration and asked what part of New York he was from. He said "Miami Beach".

[PDF]

Originally Posted by Mr. Maryland

Typical Florida fools posting in reply OP, don't let it phase you. FL is full of people who got there five minutes before you and claim to be lifelong locals. One of the favorite FL battle cry's is the excuse "This is FL! We don't do it like your state does!", a simple minded excuse for not being able to cook a dish, drive a car, maintain a beach, neighborhood, whatever.

Good pizza can be found, keep looking. Good luck!

Sincerely,
A guy with a screen name that doesn't explain that he grew up in that god forsaken state and knows more than he'd like about it.

Except the OP wasn't posting with the good attitude like you have.