What do you think of picky eaters? (grill, soup, vegetable)
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I am a very picky eater. It started when I was a child when I wouldn't eat the "oil soaked" baked chicken or the "shoe leather" steak, the dried out pork roast my mother used to make. I would eat a balogna sandwich on white bread with yellow mustard. Becoming an adult and on my own, I bought Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook & The Joy of Cooking and started to learn to cook. I do have food allergies, some shell fish & peanuts & do tell my friends when we are invited over to their homes for parties and just avoid those foods.
Through the yrs. I have become an excellent cook, wrote two self-published cookbooks and entertain quite a bit & am currently enrolled in Top Chef University online. Being a picky eater has made me more aware of others eating habits. As CArizona does, I notice what my guests do not eat & leave on their plates and write it down, "Mike does not like marinated Artichokes". When they come back, the Artichokes will be in a separate bowl. Holidays we have Vegetarians, Vegans, Carnivores etc. all at our home for dinner. I make a huge varied buffet and everyone eats what they prefer and everyone is happy.
Now Lactose Intolerance is another topic for another day.
This reminds me of a time when I was a personal chef, and cheffing for a couple (who were and are dear friends of mine). I'd been cooking for them for a few years at that point - they hate to cook, but love to eat, and I love to cook and would be big as a house if I ate everything I love to cook, so it worked out well for us).
Anyway, they had been on a high protein low carb diet and doing very well (healthy, losing weight, loved the food). Then she developed some health issues, and as part of determining what the problem was, she had to go on a vegan diet for a while. Not a problem; I simply prepared half of their entrees for his low carb diet, and half of them for her vegan diet.
Except that they bond over food, and this was a problem for him - he was sad. So I sat down with all of my cookbooks, picked up a couple more cookbooks at the bookstore, got online, and managed, for some weeks, to come up with dishes that worked for both of them (until it turned out that her problem wasn't diet at all and she could go back to eating the same things he did). It was an exhilarating challenge!
I don't like to turn meals into "power struggles" or "war zones" if I can help it. This is why I've never been a "one size fits all" type of cook. I have my own food preferences and favorites and I know that everyone else does too...I don't mind cooking extra "dishes" because I want everyone who comes over to have enough to eat!
Yes, I do that too. I would never deliberately ignore what people like because obviously I want them to enjoy their meal. So I keep an eye on what disappears, and who pushes what around, and keep that in mind for next time. But most people don't come out the minute you invite them (in my experience) and tell you what they don't want on the menu. My aforementioned girlfriend does.
I would never deliberately make a meal to offend her, but she is very fussy (her food items should not be 'mixed' - which apparently means no stir fries, no casseroles, no anything like contains more than one food item. Nothing spicy. Nothing 'ethnic'. No, I'm not sure what that means because she does eat pizza ???) I have never ever managed to figure out her food preferences, not once.
And she is not a gracious guest who eats what she can, and pushes the rest of her food around her plate. She says, "Blah! Yuck!"
I still love her dearly but...
Meals at your house sound great! Sorry that your girlfriend can be "picky."
CA thank you! The first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is another recipe and what to write and what to make. The last thing I think of before going to bed is another recipe and what to write. I truly believe that I being a picky eater made me into the cook that I am today and more "aware" of people's eating habits, likes and dislikes, such as you do. I have a very dear friend who I taught to cook, and she has become one of the best Italiancooks here in NC. Because of health reasons she became of Vegetarian, when invited to Thanksgiving dinner this year, she told me that she was bringing her Tofu Turkey, I did not have a problem at all with this (one less thing I had to cook). In my home good friends and family bring us together over food to celebrate being here another day with one another. As long as they show up, I could care less what they bring. I wanted to learn to cook well, with good ingredients, produce, proteins etc., if not, I would still be eating blogna sandwiches on white bread with yellow mustard.
THL what a wonderful feeling you had when you achieved cooking those meals for your friends, that is what it all about. Congratulations to you dear lady.
NW how about introducing your lady with some good cooking mags., and having her help with food preparation? Start with basic cooking magazines & techniques and then go forward. Baby steps. I took the afternoon off from school to sit and go over my new issues of La Cucinia & Sauvere mags., to get some more ideas. I love when my dh helps me in the kitchen. One thing that I have taught some of the people that want to learn how to cook, is prep first, clean as you go. I have seen this with our own grown dd's, they become so overwhelmed with cooking, the kitchen becomes a cluttered disaster. My theory Clean as you go &prepping makes a world of difference in the time you are going to spend with your friends and family, and remember it's food.
im picky and i know it. everyone around me knows it. i wasnt allowed to be picky as a child, i was forced to eat foods that literally made me sick.
F*** that. when i moved out, I said i would never again eat something unless I WANTED to. And i havent.
this does not mean I dont try different things. My hubby is japanese. we lived in japan for a year. ive eaten things that many 'adventuresome eaters' wouldnt touch. but it is ALWAYS on my terms.
most peoples cooking i simply dont like. it has nothing to do with the actual food, but the fact they cant cook. my mom thinks i eat nothing. well, i dont if she cooked it. i eat most anything my husband (who was a chef) cooks.
dont judge a picky eater until you know why they are picky.
my most basic of food rules:
i will not eat anything at a buffet
I have to be able to identify what im eating
i have to know whats in it
And because we can easily get together and/or converse without having to deal with a meal and the apparent issues that having a meal poses. I'd rather not deal with the stress of a picky eater, I'll just go do something else if I want to visit with that particular person, and not have it be a food-centric event. I CERTAINLY won't go to the trouble, time, and effort of hosting a meal for that particular person.
How is it stressful for you if they're bringing their own food?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasHorseLady
Wouldn't that work the other way, as well? The picky eater would eat what the host(ess) prepared if it weren't all about the FOOD and THEIR FEELINGS?
Some people are "picky" due to religious obligation, food allergies, food intolerances, vegetarian or vegan lifestyles, or anxieties about eating certain types of foods. People are "picky" eaters for many many reasons...and if they're bringing their own food, again, I fail to see how their behavior is rude or stress-inducing for the host in any way whatsoever.
Both my parents were "happy people" in the kitchen! They enjoyed making meals fun and exciting! My Dad even made eating toast fun! So they didn't have to force me to eat anything! I was always "game" to eat what they cooked because they made meals so pleasant...But this wasn't always the case when I ate meals at my friends' homes or when I had meals with other relatives...Some of my Aunts and Uncles could be rather "macho" and "militant" when it came to cooking and meals and making sure that everyone ate everything! The atmosphere wasn't fun and pleasant...I felt like I was in a "prison camp" with "guards" watching my every "move." And "guards" who expected me to "cross them" or ??? It was a "war zone!" YUK! I used to ask my parents why some adults were so angry when they cooked meals. Why did they seem to "expect the worst?" Or why did they take everything so personally? It seemed like they were "mad" at their kids all the time!
I'm a vegetarian. All the people that I hang out with know, and it hasn't ever really been a problem. If I'm going to a dinner I let the host know in advance, and usually there is something for me, but if not there always seems to be plenty of side dishes and snacks. It's much easier when dealing with more ethnic foods like Italian, Asian or even Mexican. American food seems to be really meat centric compared to most other things.
I personally don't see vegetarians/vegans as picky eaters myself. Although, I do have a friend who is vegetarian because she can't stand meat altogether (the smell, the texture, etc.) but she'll eat anything else and she's not a problem to cook for... just leave the meat out. No big deal.
Honestly, if somebody made a habit of whipping out their own specially prepared food every time they were invited to eat at my house, I'd cease to invite them for meals pretty quickly, because it's clearly not something that works for them.
I think they are just trying to be considerate because they know how their eating style can be perceived. They know people can be sensitive about "food refusers" and are just trying to make it a non-issue. It's a compromise.
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Becoming an adult and on my own, I bought Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook & The Joy of Cooking and started to learn to cook. I do have food allergies, some shell fish & peanuts & do tell my friends when we are invited over to their homes for parties and just avoid those foods.
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