Do You Clean Up the Kitchen While Dinner Guests are Still There? (restaurant, meals)

[hotzcatz]

A lot of this depends on the specific circumstances. If it's a formal dinner and the kitchen isn't visible from the dining room, then disappearing to clean up is probably going to be rude. A short disappearance of a few minutes isn't that rude, especially if you bring back fresh drinks, dessert or something. But disappearing for anything more than five or maybe ten minutes at the most when you have guests is rude. Some guests even consider doing something such as knitting while chatting with them to be rude, but fortunately I only have one friend like that.

If the dining room and kitchen are connected so you can still converse with the guests or if there is a sitting or hang out space in the kitchen and the guests can visit with you while you're in the kitchen and it's a semi-informal party, then it's not as big of a thing. Although, doing a huge clean up could be considered rude, but a basic dish wipe down and dishwasher loading shouldn't be. I'd not run the dishwasher unless it was a really, really quiet one, though.

If there's enough guests that they can entertain themselves while you're in the kitchen, that's also no big thing, although you still shouldn't be away for more than ten minutes. When we have dinner parties for over twenty folks, then most times there will be a group who elects to help clean up and we chat in the kitchen while doing the basic perishable food put away and clean up. Actually, this is Hawaii, so mostly we are there putting take away plates together so folks can take some home with them. That's pretty much standard at parties around here otherwise we'd never be able to eat all the leftovers ourselves.

Some of our dinner parties are in the kitchen and everyone kinda helps doing what ever is necessary. Those are usually really informal salad or pizza parties. An assortment of ingredients are available for everyone to make their own salad or pizza. That's kinda fun in it's own way. Other times we have cookie baking parties. But these are very informal and everyone's already in the kitchen so cleaning up while everyone else is doing something in the kitchen isn't rude. Well, mopping the floor would be but a little sweeping wouldn't be rude if something had fallen to the floor. So, most of it depends on circumstances.

[rdflk]

My mother-in-law never cleans up even when it's family. She just says, "Oh, just leave it, I'll do it all in the morning." Who wants to do leave piles of dishes overnight to dry out, and wash them in the morning??

Apparently she does.
And maybe just maybe, she knows that in world where life change in a heartbeat -- and the people you love and care about could be gone in the blink of an eye -- maybe -- just maybe -- dishes in a sink don't matter at all.

The things people stress about when there are real problems in this world....have me shaking my head.
A loved one could have cancer, be in a bad car accident, lose a job, suffer an unexplained illness -- and people are worried about dishes in a sink. Life is too short to stress about things like that.

You say you can't leave dishes in the sink...I bet if you got a call saying get to the hospital there's been an accident -- you'd drop those dishes in a minute.....or would you finish cleaning up first? Maybe you would.

So as one post said...you CAN leave it until later....you CHOOSE not to. But if that keeps you up at night, G-d bless you. MY dirty dishes CAN wait.

Am I taking your question too seriously? I'd say your taking dirty dishes too seriously.

[randomparent]

I clean up for the most part, but it's almost always a combined effort that involves everyone, including guests. I also help clean up when I'm a guest. It's the way I was raised, and it appears it's the way my friends were raised, too.

[Foodmuse]

I put away food, that's all. Clean up will be there when someone gets to it.

[Nonchalance]

Originally Posted by lkmax

So, I'm just wondering...do you clean up the kitchen after dinner, while your dinner guests are still there?

I can't get comfortable or relax and enjoy myself when I know there is a mess in my kitchen...

So yes, I at least START cleaning up. I'll rinse the plates off, load the dishwasher (usually unload it while I'm cooking, if necessary), soak pots and pans, wipe off the counters, etc. I'll go back in to finish the pots and pans and do a more thorough cleaning, but I just can't enjoy myself if I just leave the mess for later.

Sometimes I wonder if that's rude, though.

Thoughts?

With really good buddies and family, yes. I do. They stand around and chat while I do it.

That type of person understands. With new guests, I would not.

[Retriever]

Originally Posted by jlawrence01

As guests, we ASSIST the host in carrying dishes to the kitchen, placing them in the dishwasher and the like. After all, the friends have gone through the hassle of preparing a meal for us. It is the least we can do.

Absolutely!
My SO and I, along with the other couple, carried our dirty dishes to the host's kitchen. We asked if there was anything else that we could do, and were informed that they (the hosts) would be "right with us", and to just relax in the living room.

It should be noted that these folks did not have a dishwasher, so we guests assumed that the hand-washing of everything would be deferred until we left. Unfortunately, it was not deferred, and the four of us sat--sans TV, sans music, sans magazines, and sans air-conditioning for ~ 1 hour, until the hosts finally decided to pay attention to us again.

Originally Posted by thinkalot

Rude. Enjoy your guests. I probably wouldn't accept another invitation from you if you thought cleaning was more important than my company. Kind of looks like you want them to leave.

That is exactly how my SO and I felt.
We were just on the verge of leaving when these poor hosts finally returned from the kitchen after ~ 1 hour.
We departed not long after their return.

[psurangers11]

I do... well... I put the dishes in the dishwasher as the night goes on. The last thing I want is a dirty pile of dishes to tend to later in the night or sitting in the sink or on the counter overnight only to have to tend to it first thing in the morning.

For those who use the "don't be rude to your guest" argument... well.. my wife is out there keeping them entertained and keeping up with conversations.... so... don't think guests give a hoot if I'm in the kitchen trying to keep up and be tidy. Besides... those who want to hang with me or continue to chat they have no problem finding their way to the kitchen to continue a conversation... and heck every now and again even offer to help!

[Butterfly4u]

I actually clean up the pans and food stuff as I am cooking.
By the time dinner is ready to be put on the table, most of my pans are done.
So, after dinner, its just the matter of loading a dishwasher. That's all.
I always have help too, because everyone who comes to my home helps, and it is done
in minutes.
I would always get up and offer to help my host, without saying, because if I help him or her,
they are done in a few minutes, instead of an hour.
My daughter does the same thing, she thinks its wonderful to clean cooking pots and pans and utensils
while you are cooking.
To each his own, whatever one wants to do, or is comfortable with.
There is always the grill and paper plates, then all you need is a trash bag.
The older I get, the more attractive that option is. LOL

[gball721]

Originally Posted by lkmax

So, I'm just wondering...do you clean up the kitchen after dinner, while your dinner guests are still there?

I can't get comfortable or relax and enjoy myself when I know there is a mess in my kitchen...

So yes, I at least START cleaning up. I'll rinse the plates off, load the dishwasher (usually unload it while I'm cooking, if necessary), soak pots and pans, wipe off the counters, etc. I'll go back in to finish the pots and pans and do a more thorough cleaning, but I just can't enjoy myself if I just leave the mess for later.

Sometimes I wonder if that's rude, though.

Thoughts?

Whether you drink or not: pour your guests And yourself an extra glass of wine or Makers Mark or whatever, after you all's meal together, talk and listen to everyone after the meal and just enjoy. Leave the dishes for the morning. The dishes won't get much stinkier overnight. And just soak em in water in the sink overnight and in the morning they'll clean up just fine.

Enjoy time with friends and family now, and do the dishes tomorrow.

[lubby]

Yes I do and it drives my Mom crazy. This happened on Easter Sunday. I had 9 people for dinner. I started cleaning up immediately after we ate and my mom was yelling Sit down! Do the dishes later. I can't relax knowing there is a mess to clean up. Luckily my female in-laws always help with the clean up. I am so OCD about the clean up that I started swifering the kitchen and dining room floor then proceeded to wet swifer the floor next. My mom was getting annoyed at me. My mom is OCD too so she should of understood. My In laws don't mind. I thought my mom was going to smack me with the Swiffer mop LOL. BTW when I go to any of SIL's houses or MIL we do the dishes and clean up the kitchen even when other guests are over. God for bid any of the men help out .The men go straight for the couch/TV my husband included. My dad only did cleanup during Thanksgiving, other than that he never helped do the dishes. When I have my 2 best friends over we argue about who's doing the dishes because she always insists on doing them. My dishwasher has not worked in almost 2 years so it takes longer when I have a dinner crowd. I always offer to clean up when invited over to someone else's house but my one SIL likes doing it herself and always refuses my help and tells me to sit down.