Another northerner moving! (Fort Myers: appointed, house, neighbourhood)

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by kroeran

I understand completely where you are coming from, and I have lots of neighbourhood war stories I could tell you, and I have friend who is close to shooting himself because his alcoholic crazy nieghbour is harrassing him by reporting every possible violation with the idea of picking up the property for below market value (this is up north).

As well, I am sure he gets some sort of sadistic pleasure from it as well. Its what losers with no control over their lives do to not feel lousy for a few minutes...that and kick dogs.

These people are out there. The municipality and cops are required by law to respond to these complaints. They are as frustrated as you are.

The first line of defense is to talk to neighbours at least 2 deep before buying a house to see if you can smoke out any wackos.

Failing that, you smile and chat with all neighbours, especially the crazy ones that try to start something, to avoid starting a family feud.

Failing that, if you can't get in 100% code compliance, you have to move, or your health will suffer, or in a weak moment on a bad day you will do something you regret, and then they will own your ass.

Life is too short. Move.

Words to live by when buying a house and playing well with others.

You are correct on so many levels.

My dad - an angry man even when he was young - lives in Melbourne, Florida and routinely walks around with a pad and pen checking for unregistered and expired tags. Why? Because he is crazy and loves the sense of control it gives him for a few minutes. He also kicks dogs.

I haven't talked to him in a couple of years...

[kroeran]

Originally Posted by equalrightsforeveryone

No that is the cowards way out.
The way to handle the situation is to change the rules and regulations and take the things away that enable those type of individuals you don't accommodate them by accepting their behavior.
And your silence is consent, That is what they bank on.

You never lay down for individuals like that, you change the things that need changing, and you ostracize the individuals, the greeks figured this out over three thousand years ago. pretty soon when they find out they are thoroughly isolated and the community does not accept them, they will move and the decent people get their neighborhood back and the NN is history. And finally Cape Coral can grow in to the community it should and can be.
That is the way to handle it not move,

for the goal of being able to park a trailer in your driveway?

I have about 10 ideas that would improve my HOA and increase property values...but very soon into it I realised that getting agreement to change any rules is an impossible dream

has anyone every anywhere actually gotten a city to change their rules?

this is not about cowardice....I love a fight worth fighting that has some hope of accomplishing something

I think its about emotional economy and picking your fights - engaging nutbars on HOA or city reg reforcement is self destructive

I totally get where you are coming from emotionally though...but this sort of thing starts to take over your life and the dispute becomes who you are

[twobums]

Originally Posted by equalrightsforeveryone

Individual responsibility is, treat your neighbor as you would have them treat you. At the very least send a anonymous letter and explain your concerns to your neighbors or so called 'friends' before you chose to be the neighborhood informant.

In my opinion & experience, an anonymous letter is a cowardly move at best.
Either be an adult and approach the neighbor in a friendly and forthright manner with a legitimate concern OR suck it up.

[nhkev]

one of these days I'll take a picture of the house down the street. I live in a neighborhood of pretty nice homes (if you like the style). The street is along a winding country road, most people have lots of land. The houses are virtually identical. It is not that they are cookie cutter but the developer had this thing for antique reproduction colonials, which they all are. However there was one house on the street that was here before any of the houses and his house does not come under any of the restrictions that the developer put in. Yes it is true that the developer put most of the restrictions in for his own interests. some of the things he put in were ... no fences over 4 feet tall, no chain link fences, no farm animals, no above ground pools, no asphalt driveways.. gravel only. If you wanted to cut trees or paint your house you had to get permission. No outbuildings such as sheds.

The purpose was that if he was building more houses he didn't want to lose out on a potential buyer if a yard of a neighbor looked trashy.

The neighborhood is considered an upscale neighborhood and the neighbors comply with these restrictions, cause they all knew they were there when they bought. when most read the restrictions they were probably thinking ..... Don't want an above ground pool anyway. Well this one guy that I referenced earlier lives in a dump and his yard is borderline a junk yard. It is so embarrassing if I have any guests coming over I always give them directions from the other way to avoid driving by his house. And if they do drive by it, the first question out of their mouth when they see me is "what's up with that place down the road?" The homes in the neighborhood are likely in the $500k range and I almost didn't buy specifically because of that one property that is about 1/2 mile from mine. The last thing you ever want as a seller is an adverse condition that you have no control over.

While I was looking at homes I found one on the internet that seemed perfect. We went and looked at it and it was even better in person. The house was stunningly beautiful. I asked the Realtor where the road went to the opposite way of where we came in and she said it went through a state forest and back out to the main rd. (she left out the junkyard that was around the corner) Wasn't the least bit interested after that.

The biggest eyesore that the dump down the street is of course TRAILERS. They aren't the not so bad construction cargo ones that you see prevalent today. One is like a tractor trailer that he uses to store hay. Then he has a horse trailer for his horses, then a 2nd horse trailer. None of which are in nice condition. You throw in there his corral and poor structured stable with his old single wide with additions, overgrown grass, and just an overall mess of a yard.

I feel that there are plenty of places that have no restrictions. So for the people who feel "it's my land I should be able to do whatever I want with it" They should be allowed to. But then there's a group of people that are not Nazi's or elitists but prefer living in an area that supports their values and interests. Someone should be made very aware of an areas restrictions and make sure that they can live within them. If not it is inconsiderate of others to not follow them or try to make them feel as if there is something wrong with them for wanting to keep a place nice.

If there is a restriction , you should follow it. to blame the person who is reporting the violation and demean them is once again a show of poor character. They are the victim not you.

[equalrightsforeveryone]

Originally Posted by kroeran

for the goal of being able to park a trailer in your driveway?

I have about 10 ideas that would improve my HOA and increase property values...but very soon into it I realised that getting agreement to change any rules is an impossible dream

has anyone every anywhere actually gotten a city to change their rules?

this is not about cowardice....I love a fight worth fighting that has some hope of accomplishing something

I think its about emotional economy and picking your fights - engaging nutbars on HOA or city reg reforcement is self destructive

I totally get where you are coming from emotionally though...but this sort of thing starts to take over your life and the dispute becomes who you are

For the goal of right and wrong.
It is not just the goal to store my trailer in my drive way, it is to get the changes made in this city to make it a better place for everyone.
Giving up before you tried is not a good plan of action, I never once made the claim that it was going to be easy. the thing is are your rights important enough to fight for them or are you going to role over and play dead.
Don't take this personal I am speaking to everyone to do the things that are necessary is going to be long and hard row to hoe. but the out come will be worth it.
Always remember they are counting on people to give up and they will fight tooth and nail every step of the way to try to make you fail, but don't do it for them.

[equalrightsforeveryone]

Originally Posted by twobums

In my opinion & experience, an anonymous letter is a cowardly move at best.
Either be an adult and approach the neighbor in a friendly and forthright manner with a legitimate concern OR suck it up.

Agreed,
but a coward is still more acceptable to me than a neighborhood informant.

Lets face it I can have pity for a coward but not for the informant type, not now not ever.

[faithfulFrank]

Folks, This is not another thread about CC codes....
The OP was interested in moving to the area and had questions.
Please get back to topic.

Frank

[Ms BlueBird]

Originally Posted by hiknapster

Words to live by when buying a house and playing well with others.

You are correct on so many levels.

My dad - an angry man even when he was young - lives in Melbourne, Florida and routinely walks around with a pad and pen checking for unregistered and expired tags. Why? Because he is crazy and loves the sense of control it gives him for a few minutes. He also kicks dogs.

I haven't talked to him in a couple of years...

LOL your dad sounds like my mom!

[hiknapster]

That neighbor bought their home with the expectation that the good people of Cape Coral would comply with their regulations. They have every right to report anyone that is not in compliance and I don't blame them. Anyone that breaks these laws should be cited and fined.

To have only lived in Cape Coral a year and think they are an exception to the rule is ridiculous. There are laws and rules that everyone must follow and some neighborhoods have more rules than others.

I am really sick of people breaking the rules and then wailing that they are the victim.

Get on the agenda and talk to the city council if you want to change the rule. Until then, follow the rules.

To the OP, Cape Coral doesn't have any unusual rules for a community. Read them through before purchasing. I can assure you, though, that I have about 30 family members on the cape and no one finds them difficult to follow. Nothing crazy like length of grass, etc. This poster is complaining about a cargo trailer in his possession.

[kroeran]

Originally Posted by equalrightsforeveryone

For the goal of right and wrong.
It is not just the goal to store my trailer in my drive way, it is to get the changes made in this city to make it a better place for everyone.
Giving up before you tried is not a good plan of action, I never once made the claim that it was going to be easy. the thing is are your rights important enough to fight for them or are you going to role over and play dead.
Don't take this personal I am speaking to everyone to do the things that are necessary is going to be long and hard row to hoe. but the out come will be worth it.
Always remember they are counting on people to give up and they will fight tooth and nail every step of the way to try to make you fail, but don't do it for them.

I admire your passion and hunger for justice but I think it is misdirected and is going to get you into a downward spiral.

There are indeed important battles to be "fought", and I think you need to find an outlet for this energy, but here I think you would benefit from sucking it up and tell the wife that you screwed up, and move or rent a parking spot in a commercial area.

I suggest a little less Beck and Hannity and listen more to O'Reilley until you settle down a bit emotionally ; - )

If not done so already, maybe there should be a permanent thread on code reform with a ban on code discussions in non-related threads.