Daughter planning to move to Keller...mom's got questions.

[buyerdawn]

If she goes just 5 miles south of Keller in Haltom City...there are apartments that are 2 bedrooms for around $700-800 a month. Safe area..right around beach street and 820. I lived in that area for 5 years and never felt unsafe. You can find a 2 bedroom in Keller for about $900.00

If it's just her and her boyfriend she can always get a 1 bedroom apartment and then get a pull out sofa for when she has visitors...that's what we did.

I moved to Texas from Illinois when I was 20...best decision I ever made.

[expatChicagoan]

Originally Posted by buyerdawn

I moved to Texas from Illinois when I was 20...best decision I ever made.

I also moved from Illinois to Texas, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made, but I wasn't 20.

In your case, did you have a job? Did you come with your boyfriend? Were you still in school? Did you have parental support?

I think everyone's mileage is going to vary depending on their circumstances. To want to pick up and move from one state to the other with no real reason other than that you're perhaps bored where you live is not a good reason for moving.

[Jenyphero]

Hi Mom,

I'm not a parent of young adults yet, but having been one once upon a time I can tell you this much. Sometimes it's better to cut the apron strings and let your daughter learn from her own mistakes. Probably much easier said than done, I'm sure. Then again, your daughter sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and would be successful. I moved to NYC when I was 17 and learned to adjust my quality of life to what my budget would afford. I lived in a 2 bdrm apartment with four roomates, had a diet of fresh fruit, bagels, and Top Ramen, walked everywhere instead of cabbing it, etc. It was the best experience of my life because it taught me to be self-sufficient. And when I had enough and moved back home, I was able to provide more to my parents instead of having them take care of all my needs. All you can do is lay it out there for her. If she needs to take time off from school (which she will if she wants to get in-state tuition rates), she has every chance of going back that she does dropping out permanently. Your daughter sounds mature enough to make that decision logically. I would advise her to have a job lined up before she moves, but if she and her boyfriend can live in an efficiency apartment and learn to budget, I don't see any reason why they wouldn't make it. They will have to compromise on a lot (for example, skip the cable with 50 movie channels and eating out), but she is a grown woman and can make those decisions. She's 20, not 15, and while that's not a huge age difference, it is a huge maturity difference. 20 is young, but if we can send our service men and women to war at 18, who are we to say a 20 year old can't decide where she wants to live and work?

Just my two cents. Again, I'm not a parent of a 20 year old yet and will probably have all the same concerns you do when my children get to be that age. I know I gave my parents more headaches than were necessary. I appreciate the fact that they let me make my own decisions though and just were there to pick me back up after I fell.

[buyerdawn]

Originally Posted by expatChicagoan

In your case, did you have a job? Did you come with your boyfriend? Were you still in school? Did you have parental support?

When I moved to Texas I moved here with my boyfriend (now my husband).

My parents did not want me to move away in any way shape or form, my mom was angry at me for a few years for doing so. She understands why I did it now but I was the youngest of 5 girls and she didn't want me to be so far away at the time and still has a hard time with it.

I was still in school, I was just one semester from graduating from our local community college with my associates degree..I never did finish and as a matter of fact I'm not even in that field anymore...I did however go back to school for a totally different degree.

I didn't have a job when I came here...my husband did though.

We lived in East Central IL...there were no jobs where we lived. No new jobs have been created since we've left. Unemployment is very high and the pay is very low. Crime was getting bad and has gotten far worse since we've left.

We've been here since '96 and haven't looked back.

Having my own daughter now I couldn't imagine her moving so far away from me...I'd go nuts!

[KissedACooke]

Originally Posted by Jenyphero

Hi Mom,

I'm not a parent of young adults yet, but having been one once upon a time I can tell you this much. Sometimes it's better to cut the apron strings and let your daughter learn from her own mistakes.

I'd be concerned if she were 14, but at 20, it's time to say, "Okay, have a great time, you know where to find us." Sounds like you're spending a lot of time googling and worrying that could be better spent enjoying her before she leaves for TX.

[loves2read]

I don't blame her for being concerned--and it is not so much the move that is the problem but why her daughter might be thinking about doing it--that there could be other problems--
having a plan for big decision like this is not something that is stupid or overmanaging--
even adults sometimes make bad decisions that cause problems for others--not just themselves...

[stanwood]

This is how great things happen to great people. Your daughter sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders; her boyfriend is working in a job that's easily transferable. She's young and adventurous and wants to make her mark on the world. She can do it, she knows she can. My daughters are about your daughter's age, my son is a couple years younger. We've often talked about what your daughter has decided to do. One daughter moved to Houston (5 hours away) one went to Europe for the summer. It's amazing what they can do on their own when they have to. As a parent I would worry, that's our job, but maybe try to look at it from her perspective - she's striking out on her own to make life better for herself, her boyfriend, and someday, her kids. Tell her welcome to Texas from me!